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Things that can stop any conversation, no matter how heated, in a second.

Ill start.

Man, I need to get laid. What's your sister's number again?

Edit: Inb4 socially awkward penguin.

Wanna see my rash?

Just sec, lemme check and see if my CP archive is done downloading.

Oh god, I threw up so much last night.

I hope it didnt have anything to do with Justin daring me to eat dog crap…

Cellphone suddenly starts playing incredibly embarrasing song.

Both people check their phone.

@watcher

If it can cook ratatouille, sure, I'll see it.

I totally agree, Obama can turn this economy around. Wanna go back to my apartment?

inb4insistentserpent

So I said to the doctor "Fuck homicidal tendencies, I'm not taking that medication".

The docotor just got the papers in. Its Terminal.

so we went to mexico to get this abortion….

"Are you coming?"

"No, I'm just breathing heavy."

Did I ever tell you about my Dateline sting?

^I lol'd

"The Doctor tells me I'm still contagious."

Thats all well and good, but what about you clinging tenaciously to my buttocks?

I'm not his wife…. I'M HIS SISTER!

"I know you're my cousin but why not give it a whirl?"

"I think they should make a Rosie O'Donnel porno."

ide love to tap that