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Dictator tournement - WHO WOULD WIN

Last posted May 30, 2016 at 12:42AM EDT. Added May 26, 2016 at 09:33AM EDT
33 posts from 20 users

EVERYONE LOVES CRAZY ASS DICTATORS (unless you're living under their regime of course) .

So WHO WOULD WIN? IN A BATTLE OF WIT, SKILL AND POWER???

Tourney: http://challonge.com/kym_dicktators

FIRST ROUND:

Ghengis Khan VS Adolf Hitler – WHO WOULD WIN??

http://www.strawpoll.me/10314920

I'll check the votes tomorrow and update the tourney accordingly. GOOD LUCK, DICKTATORS~

feel free to discuss the dicks here, as well as the tourney itself. GO GO GO!!!

Last edited May 26, 2016 at 09:37AM EDT

(unless you’re living under their regime of course)

Especially if you live under their regime!

ALL HAIL GLORIOUS LEADER!

Genghis Khan:
>Glorious fu manchu
>friggin conquered most of Eurasia

>There is a chance that you could be related to him
>There was a band named after him

Adolf (S)hit ler:
>Shit-tier mustache
>Wanted to make Germany great again
>Was thirsty for that German puss
>got fucked immediately when Ruskies and Brits battled against him
>banned topic nowadays

We all know that you can't stop the wrath of Khan.

Last edited May 26, 2016 at 12:04PM EDT

Even though in the XIII century people didn't have means of transport as advanced as in the XX century and they had less efficient weapons Gengis Khan managed to rise an empire bigger than Adolf Hitler + Gengis Khan didn't commit suicide. My vote goes to Gengis Khan.
PS: You can put an hipervincle to the poll "like this": http://www.strawpoll.me/10314920 (The title you want to give it between the quotation marks and no space after ":")
Like this

Last edited May 26, 2016 at 01:59PM EDT

PHYSICAL COMBAT

In hand to hand combat, lets assume that each man was at his peak. Hitler, in 1915, as a soldier in the Imperial German Army, and Genghis Khan in, say, 1185, when he would have been a young man at his physical peak.

Genghis, as a teenager, was already a married man and a respected member of the Mongol community, which meant he was a good horseman and fighter. He, along with some friends, led a raid to rescue his wife from kidnappers, proving that he was both tough and fearless. This moment is said to be the point in his life when Genghis realized he was destined to be a conqueror, making it a good point of reference for proving his prowess as a commander and soldier.

Hitler, on the other hand, fled from Austria to avoid being in an "impure" army, and subsequently failed the Austrian army medical exam when they conscripted him. When WW1 started Hitler petitioned to join the Bavarian Army and permission was granted… by mistake. Hitler did very little fighting once in the war. He was a regimental messenger boy, meaning that he was far behind the front lines, and spent a lot of time with higher officers. This did pave the way for his military learning and the earning of several awards, as close contact with his superiors bestowed upon him a wealth of knowledge and respect. However, despite his standing with those higher than he on the chain of command, Hitler's lack of front line experience likely meant that he was a weakling compared to his tougher, battle hardened comrades.

So, in a hand to hand fight, I would have to say the winner is Genghis Khan.


TIME WAR

Assuming that we transport the Mongol Empire under Genghis Khan and the Nazi Empire under Adolf Hitler into some kind of time void where they can do combat, the undoubted winner would be Hitler. Although technology would definitely be a huge factor, Hitler's victory does not just come from the fact that Germany has guns. The population of the entire world around the time of Genghis Khan was 400 million and his empire only contained a quarter of that, approximately 100 million. The population of Nazi Germany was 90 million. With Hitler controlling nearly as many people in a much smaller area, he has greater ability to mobilize equivalent forces that Genghis would need to rally from across the entirety of Asia.


13th CENTURY DEATH MATCH

Let us assume now, that instead we simply placed Hitler in charge of a medieval state covering the same landmass that he controlled in 1941. This would basically make him a much more powerful version of the Holy Roman Emperor. In this case, I have to say Hitler would be capable of defending himself indefinitely against Mongol invasions, but he would never be able to strike back and conquer Asia. It would be a stalemate. The problem with the Mongol hordes is that they are only really capable in steppe lands and desert regions, and this is because of two factors: wide, flat, open terrain good for maneuvering with horses, and a lack of food/water sources means that it is easier to cripple a nation by striking fast at the critical components of their economy. Western Europe is the opposite of all these things. It is heavily forested, especially Germany, and all of the land is arable and wet. The vastness of Europe's agricultural wealth and the difficulty of their terrain are the historic reasons for why the Mongol conquests stopped in Hungary, and they are the reasons Hitler would find himself in an unassailable position against Genghis Khan.


20th CENTURY DEATH MATCH

Let us now assume the opposite. Placing Genghis Khan as the leader of Central Asia and Northern China in 1941, with Hitler as controller of his historic empire at the time. The first thing you should take note of is the fact that Genghis Khan did not actually rule the Mongol Empire at its height and, in fact, at the time of his death his holdings were confined mostly to the steppes. The most impressive part of the Mongol Empire in 1941 would have to be Manchuria, which holds Genghis Khan's most significant industries and a sizable number of coal mines. Unfortunately, if we consider the political climate of the rest of the world, Manchuria was also envied by Japan, which was much more advanced than the Mongols at the time. Another unfortunate fact is that, in holding Central Asia in 1941, Genghis has cut off Stalin from his valuable hinterlands in Kazakhstan and Siberia, meaning there is no escape from the Nazi hordes during Operation Barbarossa. With nowhere to run, the Russian industries and workers would either be seized or moved to industrial backup sites the arctic, where they would suffer and die. It is very likely that, under these circumstances, the Russians would lose to Hitler. Stalin would be defeated, and Hitler would immediately begin formulating a plan with Tojo for the invasion of Mongolia. In 1945, if Japan had not already invaded, Japan and Germany would make a joint declaration of war against Genghis Khan and in 1946 German Panzers and Japanese soldiers meet each other on the banks of the Onon River.


STATE ANALYSIS

Genghis Khan's Mongol Empire was alike to Hitler's Nazi Empire in only one way: both were dictatorships. In every other way they were different, geared towards different purposes. Hitler wished to eradicate all racial boundaries, merging European culture under Germanic hegemony. Genghis Khan did the opposite, taking up multiple religions to relate best with his diverse subjects. Hitler's economy was geared towards war production, sedentary city living, and industry, whereas Genghis Khan's economy was based upon intercontinental trade, the nomadic lifestyle, and agrarianism. The Mongol Empire was designed, albeit not on purpose, to last a fairly short time, its income based upon taxation, looting, and conquest, and its succession dependent upon the number of sons that the Khan had sired. Hitler was building a nation that he expected to last for thousands of years, and through his purposeful campaigns of resettlement and genocide, he intended on building a foundation for a permanent German state spanning from the Urals to the Atlantic. They can be compared to stars: the Mongol Empire, while larger and brighter, lives only a short time, whereas the Nazi Empire, despite being less impressive in size and magnitude, would live for considerably longer… if it wasn't destroyed by foreign invaders.


While there may be many other ways to measure the strength of these rulers, I believe that the methods I have used are the best that I can provide as a historian. While I do personally prefer Genghis Khan over Hitler (and even voted for Khan in the poll) the clear winner, when comparing the states that they built, would have to be old Adi.

When it comes to the fact that he slaughtered an entire village then goes to another village and says "Hey if you don't submit to us you're gonna be like that village over there." VS A man who wants exterminate anyone and everyone who isn't German or Aryan.

I have my money on Genghis Khan for his sheer brutality and how he made people submit to him.

Well, if you wana talk about the actual dicks, like OP says, Khan practically impregnated all the women he came across, while Adolf apparently had a micropenis.

I say Genghis Khan. Primarily because 7% of the world's population being related to him in some way is a pretty impressive feat. As well, he did kill 40 million people, as compared to Hitler's 6 million people. Now you have to take into account that Genghis did all this before guns were even made. Not only did Hitler have guns during his time, but also a lot of people he killed were defenseless people who were stripped of everything, and somehow he still killed less than Genghis Khan.

Also because it's heavily hinted that he's the Daemon Prince Doombreed because of his Mongol hat and mustache.

So just what are we looking at here? is it Dictator vs Dictator physical death match? do we judge on how brutal their regime was? how powerful their state was? how spectacularly they rose/fell?

Tyranid Warrior #1024649049375 wrote:

I say Genghis Khan. Primarily because 7% of the world's population being related to him in some way is a pretty impressive feat. As well, he did kill 40 million people, as compared to Hitler's 6 million people. Now you have to take into account that Genghis did all this before guns were even made. Not only did Hitler have guns during his time, but also a lot of people he killed were defenseless people who were stripped of everything, and somehow he still killed less than Genghis Khan.

Also because it's heavily hinted that he's the Daemon Prince Doombreed because of his Mongol hat and mustache.

khan killed a total of 70m people in 170 years of war

hitler didint kill 6 million, thats only concentration camp casualties, account every person who died thanks to the nazi army's conquest, and you get more than 50 million people killed and thats only during 4 years of war.

khan also killed defenseless people, a lot of them he pillaged villages everytime he could, plus back then soldiers would die faster thanks to the tech of the time not allowing your average soldier to survive much, meanwhile by ww2 soldiers had better rates of survival thanks to the tech of the time.

also khan conquered territory where there was a high population, china, russia, persia, meanwhile hitler stuck to europe which is not known for having a high population.

Last edited May 27, 2016 at 01:10AM EDT

And the winner this round is…

GENGHIS KHAN

He will be going up to round 2. Sorry, Hitler, but looks like your time in the bunker is up!

Alright, here's the link to today's vote.

THE DICKTATORS:

Chairman Mao Zedong

VS

His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Lord of all the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular (yes seriously)

Last edited May 27, 2016 at 08:46AM EDT

a real penis in the ass wrote:

And the winner this round is…

GENGHIS KHAN

He will be going up to round 2. Sorry, Hitler, but looks like your time in the bunker is up!

Alright, here's the link to today's vote.

THE DICKTATORS:

Chairman Mao Zedong

VS

His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Lord of all the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular (yes seriously)

Which part of that is the actual name and not a title? I don't think I can write His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Lord of all the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular more than once.

Anyway, I choose Mao, because he's even after his death, his philosophy and legacy continue to shape China in new ways. Think about it, a whole country (at least in urban areas) where an entire generation is made up entirely of children who don't have siblings. That definitely shapes a country's future. Plus, isn't he stuck in formaldehyde and on display or something? You need a charisma stat of like 700, minimum, to achieve that perk.

Last edited May 27, 2016 at 10:33AM EDT

That was his title.

Also I don't want to disappoint you but I think Idi would probably totally kick Mao's ass if it was a one on one battle. Like, let's look at the stats.

Height:

Zedong: 5'11"
Amin: 6'4"

Already to begin with, we see Amin is bigger. But even just looking at his stature you could tell that he could totally whoop Zedong's ass. Little pussycake Zedong wouldn't stand a chance to that assraping, and considering Amin's record with his ladyfriends that's probably what's going to happen.

Kill Count:
Zedong: 40-78 million est.
Amin: 80,000-300,000

Even in percentage, Zedong's Great Leap Forward killed lots and lots of people. You win this round, Zedong…

Obligatory Opinion on the Holocaust:

Zedong: ??? (I couldn't find anything online)
Amin:

We'll let that speak for itself…

Qrazy Quotes
Zedong:
"Politics is war without bloodshed, while war is politics with bloodshed."
"War can only be abolished through war, and in order to get rid of the gun it is necessary to take up the gun."
"Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun."

Amin:
"You cannot run faster than a bullet.
"In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order."
"Sometimes people mistake the way I talk for what I am thinking."

Wow, looks like a tie here. Looks like we got some war hungry warthogs here.

But see, Amin gets extra credit points because whew just read this shit holy fucking christ

And the scary thing? You laugh at Amin, I think we've all seen that gif before and maybe even used it before. But he's a crazy horrible person beyond what you can even imagine.

Zedong would probably win militarily but you don't wanna get too close to this crazy bastard jus sayin'

Last edited May 27, 2016 at 10:48AM EDT
Skeletor-sm

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