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Any game, any system, any time. Just make sure it's about what happened in the game. If you played something that caused a buddy to go shave his head and join a commune, that doesn't count. Add that as an aside, maybe, but this is the vidya board, son!

Glorious or god-awful. Serious or stupid. Rage-inducing or feels-inducing. Share yo' stories!

My first one:
A few days ago, I'm finishing playing my third playthrough of Dynasty Warriors 7 – Empires. I started as Lu Bu, got enough fame to rebel, stole Diao Chan as my wife and kicked Dong Zhuo's fat ass out of the ruler throne. (He later ended up as one of my subordinates. Why I didn't get the option to just kill him, and why he didn't try to take it all back, I don't know.) At this point in the game, I've steamrolled through pretty much all the other kingdoms. Only two more small ones remain in the south, both with two territories, Sun Jian's, and Meng Huo's.

Sun Jian decided it would be a good idea to try and capture one of my territories, cuz apparently he likes to throw his men's lives away. Needless to say, it failed and over half of his forces from the attacking province died. I could conquer that territory in my sleep. So I decided that now-Emperor Lu Bu would take a day off and let one of his other officers lead the charge. I chose Guan Yu, cuz dat beard. In this fight, I've got the enemy outnumbered about five to one. This means I start with all but two or three bases on the map and the battle should be over practically before it begins. There's just one itty-bitty problem.

I can't upgrade Guan Yu's weapons and he has the shitty starter ones.

Your character carries the army. If you struggle, they struggle. You bowl through the enemy, you'll crush them with only about 2% casualties. (This happened once and there's a trophy for under 10%.) DW characters attack power is pretty much dependant on having a good weapon. I had long ago maxed out my kingdom's weaponry level, meaning I could buy the fancy rapeface ones with elemental attacks, but apparently, that doesn't apply if I choose to play as another officer and I can't lend him any of mine!

What should have been a curbstomp turned into a struggle. Guan Yu barely survived after one of the enemies opened a dam and flooded the center of the map with him still there. (Surprisingly accurate to history.) He is unable to do much more than chip damage, even with his normally OP'd musou attacks, and his stats were just as high as the rest of my officers! I did eventually win with a sliver of health left and I took an embarrassingly high 37% casualities. I got the territory, but I learned to never trust my subordinates, even ones with the title "God of War."

tl;dr: Played a WW1 game, played as Russia, got owned by the enemy team right off the bat, then made a comeback.

One time in Dota 2 ability draft mode, we're owning the other team so hard, we decided to become super cocky, then late game kicks in and we got demolished.

Back in 2005 i think, i was playing the british campaign in Empire Earth against the French. Because of a bug in the game, the french army that i had to face were set as allies instead of enemies. So while they were just standing there, i bombarded them with my mortars until everyone was dead and i won the campaign XD

You know just as well as I that that is no glitch.

Unlimited Mars (BlazBlue: CSEX)
I was young. Naive. I belived myself to have "gotten gud." Then I saw it. Unlimited Mars. I thought it was just a bit of a tournament styled battle, but then, immediately upon entry, with my mind having absolutely no clue of the hell I'd see, I got my sorry ass completely and anally raped by Unlimited Makoto.
I never so much as spared that mode a glance ever again.
But, seeing as to how the only way to unlock Unlimited Characters in Chronophantasma is through that 666th Pit of Hell… Lord have mercy on my soul.

Why I Still Use Feraligatr (Pokemon Y)
It was a close match. My opponent had a Rayquaza out that managed to knockout my Mega Blaziken with Extremespeed. He had two pokes. I had Feraligatr.
So what happens? MOTHERFUCKING FERALIGATR STEPS INTO THIS BUILDING, AVOIDS THE OUTRAGE, ICE FANGS THE SHIT OUT THAT PRISSY ASS RAYQUAZA AND OHKO'S THE BITCH, AND THEN CLUTCH SURVIVES A THUNDERPUNCH FROM A THUNDURUS TO WATERFALL ITS ASS BEFORE FINALLY ENDING IT ALL WITH AQUA JET.
Feraligatr. Once it gets rolling, your ass best be prepared.

THE DISRESPECT! (MarioKart 7)
I had managed to snake my way up to 2nd place at SNES Rainbow Road. My opponent was a 2fast4u scrub using Metal Mario and the B Dasher. Suddenly, he lost his banana supply and I got a Red Shell. I chuck it, JUST AFTER SOMEONE FIRES A BLUE SHELL.
The guy ends up getting bonked by the shell, stomped by a Rainbow Thwomp, and the Blue Shelled into oblivion. On Lap 3, I held on to first, and found out that I lapped the poor fool.
I never laughed more in my life, and on that day, I knew there was a special place in Hell for me.

Insert one of the countless times I’ve beaten bosses/levels on the verge of death.

seriously, i was playing the campaign, not the standard deathmatch mode.

^ entire thread

About 2 months ago, I had a chance to play TF2. Eventually I got to ctf_well, and our team had 3 Engineers defending the intel, but RED also had attack Engies, and great teamwork; so we couldn't get out of our base without being killed by sentries. After a few humilliating deaths, I decided to play as Spy, and after a failed attempt with the regular loadout, I realized I needed something unpredictable. Then I equipped:
The Spycicle, Deadringer and L'etranger.
I disguised as a team mate, quickly feigned my death; disguised as a RED member, and eventually got to eliminate all the Engies. I had the silent backstab advantage, and the increased invisibility from L'etranger, so I used the Deadringer quite a few times, but I still gave our team enough chance to get out of the base.
I don't remember at what point, someone from RED said something like "Going to BLU base is like a walk in the park." and it bothered me a bit. Some time later, I found a chance to get into their intel with the same loadout, and after a few feigns, I brought the RED intel closer to our base, and eventually capped it, since the RED Engies were mostly offensive. When I capped it, I typed "Going to RED base is like a walk in the park." and I can't express how rewarding it felt.
I shouldn't brag, but I was the reason we got out of that stalemate, I punished the ones who didn't let us get out of base, and I capped the intel.
That was one of those few days when I closed TF2 and said "This was a good day".

how about i tell you kids about the 6 hour war your grandfather participated in.

it was a 4 X 4 match in company of heroes.

my side consised of 2 panzer elite , i was a wehrmatch with my friend (who started the game), the enemies consisted of 3 dirty yanks and 1 brit.

basically my friend was leading us all, so our first move was slowly but surely take the points with highest gasoline (which were on the sides)

after we got there our forces split in 2 sides, the allies took the pain control point so they had an advantage point also considering it had lots of barricades and places to fend off it was like a fortress, meanwhile we strugled to keep our points, our pioneers built sandbags, barbed wires and bunkers like crazy, MG´s, motorcycles, we had armadas defending those little points, i was on the right side, and i was basically bleeding out every manpower i had to help my comrades.

finally the allies gave up, and retreated to their little fortress, this is where they started their mistake, with all the fuel we got and all the xp we got from kills i sended some camo snipers to that point, and thats when all of us unleashed misiles, hellfires, mortars, everything, the place felt like stalingrad in miniature.

first hour

finally they were too weak and we rolled them out, this is where things got ugly.

both sides started rolling out tanks, left and right armored cars, artillery, bazookas, commandos in airplanes, everyone wanted that point.

2 hour.

after this we fought to the point we finally drove them back, this is where our warmachine got real, tiger tanks, panther tank squads, king tigers, this is where it became a front and back fight, both sides sending their tanks one after another, since the americans and brits are incredibly resourcefull, it didint matter how many tanks we destroyed of them (1 of our tanks could take out about 5 of theirs) they will just spawn more using war machine abilities to the point they made us retreat, and we had to do it again, it really was just hell,

2 hours

after this everything was shit, every little place was in flames, or black, or filled by craters and tank leftovers, we kept and kept sending and they kept and kept creating.

until the british player left…

the british are known to work will with amis cause they have mobile bases, which allows anyone to create more soldiers, and have better repair engineers, since the AI in the game was put on normal (none of us expected to leave) the brit started making dumb moves, and this allowed us to destroy their mobile bases and pretty much drive them back to their bases.

last hour.

after this we slowly but surely made them weaker, they were desperate, they had all engineers building mines and sandbags, tank traps, and creating soldiers and soldiers and tanks too, meanwhile we foiled every last defense with a fast and strong opposition, big tanks like tigers, panthers, king tigers, stugs (which had artillery rounds) and thousands of soldiers equipped with assault rifles, bazookas, snipers killing everyone trying to advance, pioneers building upgraded bunkers that allowed us to easily reinforce our troops and repair tanks.

they were trapped.

at this point we gathered all the fuel we could and then we put our last plan.

sended 1 sniper and we launched all of our misilles, hellfires that burned everything, hitler´s secret missiles that scorched every vehicle in the area and rains of small misiles that took every last soldier.

we rolled everything we had and we found little to no resistance from their leftover squads of engineers and soldiers, some 50 cal machineguns here and there, and some damaged and alost about to die shermans, tank destroyers, the leftover calliopes which were too close to fire, and 1 m26 pershing, which was their lasr hope, (but since we had a king tiger that last hope didint last long)

and thats how germany won WW2.

and then we all proceded to throw missiles at each other effectibly destroying our own bases as celebration

i got a good war story from star wars battlefront 2
(part 1 of 3) I was having a good ol time in galactic mode killing clankers and the such i always good at it in fact most of my mad skillzs come from this game but i did have my kryptonite and it was called Geonosis the main base of the clankers the place was vast with almost no cover (aside of the towers and the tunnels) and those damn clankers did sabotage mah spider tank thingy winch on this map is a top priority since the CIS did also have spider tank thingy also the CIS did have home advantage with the Genosians they can fly they have good weapons and the worst part of it they don't count to the CIS army bodycount

(part 2 of 3) the game begins as usual i go for the first neutral command post i get there and find 2 super battle droids i kill them and i take over the tower i go see if there is enemy movement and to i see atleast 10 super battledroids and the spider tank and so i do the usual and go take they main command post so i can flank them but by the time i get there they took all the command post i try to take another command post but i die and so did my fellow clones and we get pushed to ours or they last command post we were outnumbered like 6 to 40 but then a miracle hapenned

(part 3 of 3) to this day i still know everything that happened in that day i was a infantry along with a engineer 2 commandos and 2 snipers the first 10 clankers we killed were 5 super battledroids 3 snipers and 1 magna guard and a droideka we killed all of them but the droideka killed one of the commanders for most of the part they send the supers droid we killed the easy peasy but them the last five of the clankers we did have to kill were 4 droidekas and 1 magna guard we killed 3 of the clanker droid but they killed every one but me i did have little health 40 shots and 1 granade the droideka tries to kill me but i dodge it and kill him i have 10 shot i miss all 8 of them but the last two did hit the head of the magna guard granting me victory

TL;DR i did beat the 40 cis clankers with five brave clonetroopers

Star Wars: Empire at War – Forces of Corruption

(Galactic Day 1) Coruscant, Galactic Empire:
Supreme Commander You Are Reading This looked down upon the Galactic map, projected across his desk. 'What madness…The Rebel Alliance has their third of the galaxy, while this "Zann Consortium" is spreading their corruption at an alarming rate. Entirely taking over worlds have made them noticeable enough for Lord Vader to send me orders to exterminate them.' He had been appointed Supreme Commander some time after showing great success as an Admiral, and the position had its rough days. This, however, was a complete logistical nightmare, three foes clashing on a galactic scale is no trivial matter. "What should be our first movement, Commander?," an admiral said to You Are Reading This. "Hm…we should pull our fleets together, retake control of The Maw Installation. While you're at it, set up planetary defenses on all outlying systems, they're the most vulnerable." "Very well," was the only reply aside from hushed whispers and looks of frustration. "If we're lucky," he thought to himself, "we just might win this in under 500 galactic days…"

(Galactic Day 25) Corulag, Galactic Empire:

The Rebels had infiltrated the outer perimeter of orbital defenses by utilizing a smaller force instead of a full-blown invasion. Commander You Are Reading This was furious, he had lost count of how many raids the Alliance had held solely on that particular planet. "It's like it's a magnet to Rebels!!! What do they want from that system!?!," he said to no one in particular. The war was going rather well for the Empire, as The Maw fell easily under foot, with few other systems subject to the concentrated force of the attacks led by You Are Reading This. Now a battle was taking place mere miles from his FCP with Garm Bel Iblis and his newly-acquired Gargantuan battle platform leading the charge. Quickly taking action, he sent a squadron of Stormtroopers towards an abandoned Heavy Vehicle Factory, producing a squadron of Pod Walkers to assist the AT-STs in defending the base. After they eliminated the rather persistent MPTLs and Speeders, they focused fire on the Gargantuan, with devastating results. After busting the shields, the Gargantuan was torn to pieces by the combined laser fire. "This battle's over, but a long way until the war is won."

(Galactic Day 137) Vergesso Asteroids, Rebel Alliance:
The Imperial fleet exited hyperspace unto the known Rebel stronghold. "All ships, this is Commander You Are Reading This, aboard the Allecto," he said, "Engage the enemy starbase here and eliminate any and all stragglers!" The fleet consisted of two Imperial-class Star Destroyers, four Acclamators, two Tartan patrol cruisers, and an Immobilizer 418 cruiser. The fleet advanced cautiously through the asteroid field finally coming within firing distance of the hostile starbase. Squadrons of B-Wings and Y-Wings focused fire on the Commander's flagship, hoping to reduce the level of damage to their base. The Tartan cruisers were having none of it, blasting through formations to keep the Allecto afloat. "They took out our lasers!," screamed the captain of the neighboring Acclamator Halcyon, before being rendered to pieces by hostile forces. Soon the concentrated fire became too much for the starbase, with it exploding violently as it was destroyed.

(Galactic Day 314) Hoth:
This was it. After so long, so many hard-fought battles later, this was it. The final Rebel Alliance stronghold below would see lots of bloodshed, but peace would finally be restored. The last safe haven for the Rebel scum stood blockaded by Imperial forces led by You Are Reading This. The massive fleet stood vigil as the invasion force launched their assault. The Commander watched from an AT-AT as other units touched down. The march to the Hoth Base was uneventful until they encountered the Snow Speeders. AT-AAs unleashed their devastating rounds, downing the Speeders. As they got closer, two powerful foes appeared: Luke Skywalker & Jedi Master Yoda, who were backed up with T4-B tanks and MPTLs. The resulting firefight was intense, heavy laser cannons and missile fire mixed with blaster rifles and lightsabers. Vehicle after vehicle on either side was destroyed, even an AT-AT went down after eliminating a squad of MPTLs; infantry faring no better, either being crushed by treads and legs or perforated by Anti-Infantry fire. At last, the Rebel force holding fast fell, and so they marched onto the Rebel base. As they entered firing range, the last message muttered from You Are Reading This was, "It's over, Mon Mothma." The Base was leveled in record time.

So about a year or two back, I was playing Mount and Blade: Napoleonic Wars on one of the siege servers. I was on the attacking side and after having respawned for about the millionth time, I ran straight for the gates as if this time I'd manage to get through.

Except this time I notice that my character is running really slow and not in a laggy way. He was pretty much running in slow motion. There was another player on the other team outside the gates so I ignored the slow mo and ran up to him and attacked him with my bayonet. Nothing.

Then I looked around behind me and saw that everything was floating around. Cannons, other players, horses, you name it. It looked like a Salvatore Dali painting. After a few more seconds of this glitch, I was disconnected from the server.

In the past I used to be an achievement whore on the 360. Wanted the 100%. At some games this was doable, at others not so much.

The biggest pains were some of the JRPGs I played. For example Blue Dragon kept you with some button pressing events which were worth maybe 5 gamerscore but which required you to fucking rape your finger by pressing the button.

Not to even mention some of the impossible post-game boss battles some JRPGs throw at you.

(SUDDEN FLASHBACKS TO FIRST BATTLE WITH RED IN SOULSILVER, FIGHT WITH SEPHIROTH IN KINGDOM HEARTS, AND EMERALD WEAPON IN FF7)

>playing pokemon pearl
>fighting Cynthia
>whole team besides my baller lvl 80 Torterra is down
>Cynthia has her last pokemon: Garchomp
>both red health
>Torterra has no pp
>no full restores, no revives, no pp items
>Garchomp is faster than Torterra
>godpleasehelpme.jpg
>Garchomp attacks
>holy shit it missed
>Torterra used struggle
>hp goes from 123 to 35
>Garchomp gets rekt
>"Beatie has defeated Champion Cynthia!"
>mfw

Last night I was playing Borderlands 2 and I was on Ultimate Vault Hunter Mode with a friend. We were fighting Jack but we really couldn't keep him down (my friend was really just sitting along for the ride he was level 30 and wanted to regenerate ammo for me). My Mecromancer uses a bee shield and a baby maker (hence ammo regen). So its a useless Gunzurker and a Glass Canon vs Handsome Jack. We ended up stuck in a glitch were Jack would have his reflector shields up without the surveyor charging it making Jack invincible. This only happened if one of us died. 5 resets later we were able to finally defeat him without dying once.

A good majority of my Dark souls Playthrough

Skip to when I go to the demon ruins, my armor make me look like I have the best of intentions

So I started being an asshole/badass

(1 hour later)
MFW I killed Gwyn

Then I chose the dark lord ending
and started NG+
and one hit kill the asylum and torus demon in 1 – 2 hits

It was the last mission in XCOM Enemy Within. One of my soldiers got blasted in the face by a Sectopod. They survive but cannot go on. Fedora Hat Guy, my mech, destroyed the robots. When we got to the Uber Ethereal my Volunteer mind controlled a Muton who I named Cheeseburger Man and sent in the drone. Cheeseburger Man fought valiantly but he died so it was our drone who saved the world.

Yow. You must have hated those achievements that were rendered impossible by shutdowns or those super-unfair ones like "get to number one on the global leaderboard."

So, did you ever get 7-day Survivor on Dead Rising?

TF2 Last year. Scream Fortress 2013. HELLTOWER

I'm playing as soon as the update comes out.

It's fun. REALLY fun, no doubt about it. Spells flying everywhere, skeletons charging, and costume drops galore. But Hightower is still Hightower. Eventually we reach a standstill with both carts at the endpoints….

If you've ever played Hightower you know what this can be like. Only here it's worse….MUCH worse….

The spells allow for MASSIVE offensive/defensive capability (The biggest ones being one that can temporarily summon a ghostly invincible Monoclous that spams rockets endlessly and one that allows a temporary uber on command.)

We go back and forth…back and forth…back and forth….and back and forth again. When one team pushes, the spells and fighting gives them almost enough time to make it…almost enough time before the other team stops it with their spells and fighting. Then a standstill occurs, the other team pushes and the cycle begins again…..

At this point is no longer ……"fun".

Finally…FINALLY. After to what this day I am sure is the longest Hightower mach I've ever endured, we make it. The bomb goes in….it's over….
.
.
.
.

Except it's not over. Because instantly, both ENTIRE teams are teleported to hell, where the spellbook (that year's halloween achievement item) is up on a hill across a lava river with a rickety broken bridge, connected to a platform where both teams enter from opposite sides. The entire area is a battle arena.

The past 2+ hours of game time before hand, all of the back and forths, all of the stress, all of the near captures, all of the stalemates….have been made completely pointless.

As now the battle for the thing we all came for is right here. A free for all…..I'm killed in under a minute…..

Much….MUCH later. After several more of the longest Hightower matches I've ever played, I make it to the end of the free for all in one piece….and claim my prize.

It was from that moment onward that I SWORE that in any Halloween event game I played those that hadn't gotten the respective achievement (Spellbook, Bombinomicon, Headless Horseman hat, ect) I would protect at all costs, or in the case of them being on the other team, not attack in any way whatsoever.

So me and my buddies were having a LAN party and we were playing Battlefield 1942.

None of us were really "playing" so much as just screwing around. We jumped into fighters and just flew around bombing the shit out things and smashing into cliffs/mountiains/other airborne aircraft

There was one map that had a HUGE flying fortress and every time it spawned everyone got excited and tried to fly it.

Well…almost everyone that is…I decided to get my troll on and thwart their every attempt to fly it.

One of my stunts was to drive a tank straight into the runway, just as the gunship was taking off.

I listened to my friends talk on the other side of the room as this happened

"Oh no! There's a tank in the waaaaay"

"Everyone BAIL AAAAAAH"

My friends jumped out of the gunship and let it pile straight into my tank. BOOM. I ded.

On my death screen I watched the gunship slow to a halt…my tank vaporized, but the gunship still seemingly intact!

But…Battlefield 1942 didn't display damage very well. The gunship, in fact, only had 1HP left and if you know how Battlfield 1942 works, you know that damaged vehicles degrade in health. That means it will very soon EXPLODE

My friends continued talking…

"Hey! It's still alive"

I watched them jump back in…

KABOOOM!

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHOHOHHOOHOHOHOHOHHOHOO AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA HEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ITS STILL ALIVE! BOOM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH….AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….hahahahaha hehe…oohhh hohohohho hahahaha. Haha heh…

Well it was funny at the time.

Spelunky is like an abusive relationship: it keeps hurting you, but you really love it, so you keep coming back against your better judgment. (I'm really sorry for the tastelessness of that.)

So I start 'er up again because I'm hopelessly addicted to it, and things are going just swell. I'm able to get the Kapala (an item that allows you to collect blood for healing, if you haven't played) by the second level, and I got a shit ton of bombs and ropes before I left the mines, in addition to a shotgun and the Udjat Eye (An item required for a lengthy, difficult, game-spanning quest). Not long after that, I'm able to buy a jetpack and find the black market entrance to get the ankh (another of those items and also an extra life in a game with permadeath) soon after.

"Things are going far too smoothly," I say to myself. Spelunky had burned me many a time in the past.

Yet things kept going well. I enter the ice caves, get the Hedjet (quest item #3) with no real issues, then sail on into the Temple. (The final, rather brutal area of the main game) With my surplus of bombs, dealing with all the nasties is no problem, and once I took the scepter from Anubis, even better. All seemed to be set to enter the City of Gold on the next level. I stroll into level 4-2 and…

"I can't see a thing!"

…I fucking hate you, Spelunky.

Some levels can be randomly made dark, and you're supposed to navigate them with the aid of a torch and some standing sconces. In the temple, there are these crushing blocks very similar to Thwomps from Mario. Except they can move in four directions instead of just down. Now my torch doesn't light up quite as far as the aggro range of these blocks. So one unceremoniously crushes me against the nearest wall before I have a chance to react. I am NOT pleased.

And I know I'll just keep coming back because it hurts so good.

A few days ago I played as Wario against an japanese Yoshi player in SSB4 for Glory 1v1.

It was INTENSE. We reached both above 180% until he defeated me once.
I tried to sent him off too but he relied on the Egg-throw until I finaly hit him.
We reached our last stocks, we stacked up damage until we had both about 150%, I started to attack with the Wario-bike. He always avoided it, so I jumped off.
I lured him to edge of the stage and used Warios Bite in mid-air and caught him we both fell down.
Shortly above the lower Blast-Line Wario released Yoshi and he jumped up but not high enough to grab the edge. I wanted to use the Bike to recover but it still laid on the stage and the Waft was not charged enough. I used to Corkscrew attack but I couldnt reach the ledge either.
The Yoshi player threw eggs around to aid his recover and hit me multiple times and knocked me up whilst he was already falling into his doom.
In the end I won (:D), but it was the hardest match I had so far in SSB4 but it was epic!

(SMITE)
Started a normal game of conquest, my team consisted of Ymir – Support (Me), Artemis – ADC, Zhong Kui – Mid, Hel – Solo, and Mercury – Jungle. My lane was doing pretty good (I never left it though and Artemis and I just kept pushing constantly) but Hel had died three times in a row without doing anything. Hel gets super salty and says she will stay in base and to surrender at 10 because our jungler never helped her lane. So Mercury had to go to solo lane and defend it himself rather than be the jungler. Hel is throwing insults left and right, trying to get us to surrender every opportunity. Zhong Kui was doing decent at defending, but left abruptly for some reason. Now it was a 3v5. Duo lane had taken down one tower and some of the next, solo lane (Mercury) had taken both towers, and out mid lane was nearly down both towers. Me and the other two remaining players grouped up and pushed every single lane down to the phoenixes, Merc getting several triple kills along the way with me supporting with the CC. Hel continues to be a bitch in general, not bothing to help but just playing around in the fountain. We get pushed back because of middle lane and have to defend for a while before we kill them all and counterattack to kill their titan before any of them respawn. Afterwards, we got the whole enemy team to agree to report Hel because staying in the spawn and doing nothing. It was a good game. The game lasted a good 50 minutes.

TL;DR – i won a 3v5 and it was glorious.

Just got a good one a little bit ago. Sounds like something out of a World War 2 movie.

Playing Battlefront 2 in Galactic Conquest mode, I'm playing the Rebels and am being invaded on Naboo. The impies activate supplies bonus, I don't think I chose one. Things start out pretty well, we capture all but two of the CPs, so they start losing reinforcements. Things should end pretty quickly. But they don't. Between a constant stream of tanks and a seemingly endless horde of stormtroopers, we're slowly pushed back. Before long, I'm scrambling about, trying to capture a few CPs to stop our losses, but it seems too little too late. it's about 10 to 15, and we're on the losing end. It seems like Naboo will fall. Before I know it, it's 2 to 10. Me and one other guy versus the remainder of the Imperial troops.

COMMANDO MODE ENGAGED

I scarf down a helping of Navy Seal copypasta and proceed to systematically capture each any every Imperial CP in turn. A squad of about 5 troopers finds me capturing one. Gunned 'em all down. Mysterious rebel ally takes a few more. Suddenly, there's only two left, both cowering in a tank. The turret gunner decides he's going to try and make a break for one of our CPs. He dies like a bitch. Tank driver flips out, turns tail, and runs. I don't see him for the short remainder of the match as I capture the final two control points and win 20 seconds later. The final kicker, however, was the post-battle line:

"The Rebellion has received credits for its stunning defense of Naboo."

With a game as massive as Planetside 2, there's bound to be some good tales of bravery and excitement, especially when playing with a full platoon of 48 people.

Quick rundown of PS 2; it's an mmofps with about 200 players per team and three teams duking it out to gain control of a massive map. The map is divided into territories each with different control points that need to be captured and held for a certain amount of time in order for the territory to change hands.

One of the most difficult to capture territories in the game is known as The Crown. An air tower brimming with anti-personnel and flack cannons situated right on top of the hill in the middle of the map. Furthermore, there are only two roads leading to the base, one of which is a narrow winding path up the hill that makes it impossible to mount any large scale vehicular assault. It's incredibly difficult to capture the surrounding territories without first capturing The Crown, as well as the opposite being true (you get a bonus to capture speed when you control adjacent territories).

On this particular day, my team controls one or two adjacent territories, one of which connects to the winding path that leads up the hill. Normally to capture The Crown, a team first captures all the surrounding territory before focusing on the fortress, but today my Platoon leader is feeling ambitious.

He tells all 48 of us to spawn flashes (essentially an ATV/4-wheeler/quad bike/whatever). We all do so and line up just inside the gate of the compound where we spawned the vehicles (the compound being right at the base of The Crown). Before we go he tells each squad what they are responsible for. There is one squad assigned to each control point as well as a fourth squad which will provide support where needed.

We all line up just inside the gate of the compound where we spawned our flashes which is situated right at the base of The Crown, and on our Platoon leaders mark, we all make a dash for the hilltop. The flashes are small enough to fit on the small path that restricts large vehicles and we make it to the top of the hill in record time. Normally whoever controls The Crown will be able to see incoming enemy and dispatch more troops making it very difficult to take, but we arrived so quickly and with so little warning that we were able to dispatch what few enemies were in the area.

We capture all three control points as quickly as possible to prevent the enemy from respawning and just like that The Crown is ours. We managed to do in under five minutes what normally takes half an hour of back and forth at the very least.

Does this squad leader of your happen to go by the name of Zhuge Liang? Cuz that sounds like something the Sleeping Dragon would do. That's some Chibi level of epic right there. I hope somebody in your squad recorded that.

Nope, I was a member of the Vanu Drop Squad (VDRS) on the Waterson server. And unfortunately that particular event was not recorded, but here's a shitty montage of our other antics!

(At 1:49 we were just dicking around on flashes somewhere but it looks pretty similar to the beginning of our adventure)

Every battle in Empire Earth is full of those moments, especially with the Art of Conquest expansion. This includes losing whole cities by nuclear bombers, sieging enemy castles, and conquering Mars with space carriers. So many glorious moments…

"I hate this heat." Muffled words out of the infiltrator's faceplate, as they rode on a Valkyrie through the wet jungles of Hossin. The heavy assault trooper to his right elbowed him hard.

"Welcome to the Conglomerate's new directive. If you wanted some cold, just go to Esamir. No one else is there anyway." The troopers in the Valkyrie exchanged some laughs, before returning to looking around.

The target was Mossridge Command Center, and they were hurdling to the target at incredible speeds. No air support was in the area for the enemy, just a platoon full of Galaxies and Liberators, heading to the the center. The plan was a trident afterwards; Charlie, Alpha, and Delta squads would split on to the three adjacent nodes.

The target came in to view, and the heavy raised his optic at a Vanu running on a roof. He unloaded a few shots, before letting the Xeno-worshiper to get away. The roof, now evacuated, was clear to drop and put heat on the spawn room.

"Gatta, Rack, you both head down and see how the command point is doing. The rest, stay and lay hell on the spawn room." Gatta the Heavy Assault, and Rack the Infiltrator saluted, before jumping off the roof and on to the metal stairs underneath.

"Clear skies down here. You sure we'll be contested?" Gatta said in to his microphone.

Gunshots rocked through the trees that Mossridge was surrounded by. First a few, then dozens. Ground and air support from the ADK outfit was moving in, as well as some other Vanu platoon. The guns suggested about 50 Vanu.

"Let's convert the point, and hold it until reinforcements come." Rack said, before jumping behind cover on the point. Gatta did the same, and the command area turned blue. Gatta started his internal clock. 6 minutes. Hold out for 6 minutes.

Reinforcements from ADK poured in to the room, but so did teal bullets. Vanu guns. Gatta unloaded round after round, but nobody was hitting. A grenade took out two, before returning to unloading.

His ears hurt, as well as his fingers from firing for so long. Finally, the point was captured. Gatta looked down at his body to check if he was shot, and he was. Nothing a medic couldn't fix. Rack's former body lied on the ground, shrapnel embedded in his body.

How fun is it to watch you and your friends die over and over again?

Not enough to justify this infinite battle for Auraxis.

(A random platoon I joined was taking Mossridge in Hossin, and it was one of my favorite battles from being in Planetside 2. Planetside 2 is just the goddamn best if you want a war experience.)

I went onto a TF2 x10 server one night. It was a dm_mariokart server, so obviously it was filled with squeakers. The porblem was that they were really, really good. They weren't even using cheap loadouts. So, naturally (them being squeakers), they taunted over the mic after literally EVERY kill.

So, a few vets (a couple had unusuals) and I led a charge, fronted by my Natascha-Hoovy and surrounded by Darwin's Danger Shield Snoipahs and Splendid Screen Demoknights. We got more dominations than Gaben has dollars, the squeakerinos raged, and we got the server to ourselves. Much fun was had.