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"So it turns out that when my son asked for a poster of LBJ for his birthday, he meant LeBron James"

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Hey, it worked

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I was at a job interview today when the manager handed me a laptop and said: "I want you to try to sell this to me." So I put it under my arm, left the building and went home. Eventually he called me and said: "Bring my laptop back now." I said: "$200 and it's yours."

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I was at a job interview today when the manager handed me a laptop and said: "I want you to try to sell this to me." So I put it under my arm, left the building and went home. Eventually he called me and said: "Bring my laptop back now." I said: "$200 and it's yours."

/r/recruitinghell recruiting hell work jobs working dad jokes jokes

Can't even get fired...

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What's the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office? If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What's the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office? If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

technically true technically the truth true truth facts can't argue with that technically not wrong dad jokes

Need that back

John Opdenakker @j_opdenakker To the person who stole my Microsoft Office License. I'm gonna find you. You have my Word. 11:06 13 Feb 21 Twitter Web App 243 Retweets 17 Quote Tweets 1,654 Likes

John Opdenakker @j_opdenakker To the person who stole my Microsoft Office License. I'm gonna find you. You have my Word. 11:06 13 Feb 21 Twitter Web App 243 Retweets 17 Quote Tweets 1,654 Likes

/r/technicallythetruth technically the truth technically not wrong true truth can't argue with that twitter microsoft dad jokes

Oops

makuntizsmelli • 18d I'm 22. Still sleep with the teddy bear my dad bought me the day I was born. RIP Dad. dadjokes_bot S⚫18d Hi 22, I'm dad! Reply 173 499

makuntizsmelli • 18d I'm 22. Still sleep with the teddy bear my dad bought me the day I was born. RIP Dad. dadjokes_bot S⚫18d Hi 22, I'm dad! Reply 173 499

/r/accidentalcomedy accidental comedy dad jokes reddit

Dad's Spaghetti

Kieran Healy @kjhealy@mastodon.social A late dinner-prepared on time but neglected in favor of a computer game-led my son to be victimized by the remark "Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it". Honestly I'm surprised he hasn't simply smothered me in my sleep by now. Mar 05, 2024, 04:35 - Ivory for iOS 8 - ★ 19

Kieran Healy @kjhealy@mastodon.social A late dinner-prepared on time but neglected in favor of a computer game-led my son to be victimized by the remark "Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it". Honestly I'm surprised he hasn't simply smothered me in my sleep by now. Mar 05, 2024, 04:35 - Ivory for iOS 8 - ★ 19

pasta those who forget the past

A Lucky Load

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four-leaf clovers and rabbits feet. I thought: "Wow, he's pushing his luck! 12:42 PM. Feb 27, 2024 9,635 Views ·

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four-leaf clovers and rabbits feet. I thought: "Wow, he's pushing his luck! 12:42 PM. Feb 27, 2024 9,635 Views ·

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Inappropriate

DocAtCDI @DocAtCDI@mastodon.social It's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa. Jan 15, 2024, 06:32 - DocAtCDI 85-★ 167

DocAtCDI @DocAtCDI@mastodon.social It's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa. Jan 15, 2024, 06:32 - DocAtCDI 85-★ 167

I Have

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You've probably never heard of herbivore.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You've probably never heard of herbivore.

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Things Are Looking Up

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I've decided, that from January 1st, I'll only be watching videos in 1080p or higher. It's my New Year's Resolution.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I've decided, that from January 1st, I'll only be watching videos in 1080p or higher. It's my New Year's Resolution.

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Sad Times

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day. It's just... Soda pressing.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day. It's just... Soda pressing.

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Cold Calls

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up. I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls. ...

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up. I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls. ...

dad jokes memes puns

That's Why

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I so bad with women?" She said, "I'm Alexa you moron."

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I so bad with women?" She said, "I'm Alexa you moron."

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Drop the Addy

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes How do you have a party in space? You planet.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes How do you have a party in space? You planet.

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Shh

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I know a surgeon who puts organs back in upside down. I told him that's not funny, but he said it was an inside joke.

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I know a surgeon who puts organs back in upside down. I told him that's not funny, but he said it was an inside joke.

Down with the Pastry-Archy

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes Why do we have pop tarts but not mom tarts? Because of the pastry-archy!

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes Why do we have pop tarts but not mom tarts? Because of the pastry-archy!

puns food poptarts

Aww

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I recently spotted an albino Dalmatian It was the least I could do for him.

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I recently spotted an albino Dalmatian It was the least I could do for him.

Burn It

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Bernadette

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Bernadette

I Could Feel It

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I read a horror story in braille, I could feel something bad was about to happen, but I didn't see it coming at all.

Dad Jokes! @dadgivesjokes I read a horror story in braille, I could feel something bad was about to happen, but I didn't see it coming at all.

Witches

Pun Hub There's only one thing that scares me about Halloween. IG: @PunHubOnline Exactly. Which is? ●00

Pun Hub There's only one thing that scares me about Halloween. IG: @PunHubOnline Exactly. Which is? ●00