Describe Yourself Like a Male Author Would

Describe Yourself Like a Male Author Would

Updated Apr 03, 2018 at 12:38PM EDT by Adam.

Added Apr 03, 2018 at 11:56AM EDT by Adam.

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About

Describe Yourself Like a Male Author Would refers to a social game among women on Twitter which emerged from a viral thread about the clichés male authors use to describe women which focus mostly on their figure. After a tweet suggested women describe themselves as a male author would, dozens of women replied with self-descriptions parodying male authors.

Origin

On March 30th, 2018, Twitter user @gwenckatz[1] tweeted about a thread regarding the #OwnVoices hashtag, a trending Twitter hashtag in the Twitter literary community supporting stories about marginalized communities written by members of those communities. According to her tweet, the thread she was reading featured voices complaining about the trend, comparing the authors to Social Justice Warriors. In one tweet, she pointed to a male author who claimed he was "living proof that it's possible for a male author to write an authentic female protagonist," then provided several passages from that author's book. The passages she chose were meant to convey that the author was not accurately depicting the female experience (examples shown below).


Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz Follow A male author is insisting that he is living proof that it's possible for a male author to write an authentic female protagonist. Here's a quote from his first page. I sauntered over, certain he noticed me. I'm hard to miss, I'd like to think a little tall (but not too tall), a nice set of curves if I do say so myself, pants so impossibly tight that if I had had a credit card in my back pocket you could read the expiration date. The rest of my outfit wasn't that remarkable, just a few old things I had lying around. You know how it is. 7:47 PM -30 Mar 2018 5,949 Retweets 16,590 Likes96 Halfway there, I saw it. The Look. The look that told me, "Girl, keep coming and you're going to be in trouble." The look that causes quaking knees in lesser women. But I could handle it. I've seen that look a thousand times, in a thousand bars and clubs and joints, and it always winds up the same way But I played along and threw him a sultry flick of the eyelashes anyway, to reel him in He flashed a smile no, a smirk and I knew he was hooked I appeared at his side close, but not too close and leaned up against the bar, a smile on my lips, as if I were looking to buy a drink. Please. I don't buy drinks for myself. Ever. True to form, the man to my right, the one with the delicious eyes, held up a finger to the bartender as he turned to face me. Without skipping a beat, he looked me up and down and apparently liked what he saw, because he leaned in and spoke above the music.

In the developing thread, Twitter user @kateleth[2] joked about how a male author would describe her (shown below, left). In the replies, Twitter user @whitneyarner[3] posted a tweet which read "new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would" (shown below, right).


Kate Leth A Follow @kateleth liked to think of myself as busty, but not impure. I had hair so long you'd think it was extensions, but I didn't need earthly enhancements. My cleavage, to be sure, 3:24 AM-1 Apr 2018 Jonathan Franzia Follow @whitneyarner Replying to @kateleth new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would 3:25 AM - 1 Apr 2018

Spread

Following @whitneyarner's tweet, other Twitter users began parodying the style of male authors describing women by describing themselves. Some popular examples include a tweet by @shannonpurser that gained over 890 retweets and 7,700 likes (shown below, left) and a tweet by @say_shannon that gained 266 retweets and 1,900 likes (shown below, right).


Shannon Purser @shannonpurser Follow She had a nice face, I guess, but she was fatter than I usually like in a woman. It didn't stop me from staring at her ass, though. Not much in the cleavage department either. When I asked her to come back to my place, she said no. Must be a lesbian. Jonathan Franzia@whitneyarner Replying to @kateleth new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would 1:07 AM - 3 Apr 2018 Samantha Shannon @say_shannon Followv She slid her legs into skintight jeans, the better to flaunt their leg-like shape, and strode down a corridor, walking on her legs, which were long. Wow, she thought, my legs are so long. Her breasts jounced their agreement. Jonathan Frazitneyarner Replying to @kateleth new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would

The jokes were covered by Twitter Moments[4] and Daily Dot.[5] In the Twitter Moments coverage of the trend, responses from male authors who found the jokes equal parts humorous and sobering were covered (examples shown below).


Robert Webb @arobertwebb Follow This thread is hilarious. And given that my first novel will feature a female protagonist sobering. Am reassured that I haven't yet described Kate Marsden's boobs or said she was 'feisty' Jonathan Frazitneyarner Replying to @kateleth new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would 1:25 PM - 1 Apr 2018 Chuck L Finley @TARDIS_Junkie Follow Replying to @whitneyarner @kateleth This concerns me deeply; I want to get into writing--had this story rattling in my head for years--but this makes me feel like I don't dare try writing female characters. 12:43 PM - 2 Apr 2018

Various Examples


Vanessa Salkova @thetsarina Follow Replying to @whitneyarner @kateleth Despite her round face, the only thing sitting higher than her breasts were her cheek bones. Eastern European, no doubt. He approached her. "Where are you from?" "New Jersey" He smirked, and asked the question that would surely endear him to her forever. "No. Before that." 5:46 PM - 1 Apr 2018 Maeve Marsden @maevemarsden Follow Opinionated, loud and bafflingly disinterested in anything I had to say, she had the confidence of a much thinner woman. Jonathan Franzia@whitneyarner Replying to @kateleth new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would Sarah Cooper @sarahcpr Followv Her breasts were lopsided, one was shy while the other looked you straight in the eye Jonathan Franzia@whitneyarner Replying to @kateleth new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would Jashvina Shah @icehockeystick Follow "She wasn't like other girls she liked sports and could explain the rules just as good as any other guy." 35 Jonathan Franzia@whitneyarner Replying to @kateleth new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would 5:14 AM-3 Apr 2018 Shannon Coulter . @shannoncoulter Follow Her breasts were like two scoops of vanilla ice cream covering the maze of her inside parts. She had a face too, he thought, but it kept speaking. Jonathan Franzia Ф @whitneyarner Replying to @kateleth new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would Sarah Watson SarahWatson42 Followv Her undersized bosom did not suggest the surprise that on the other side of her was a sizable ass. He began to think of her body a a mullet. She was business in the front and a party in the back. Jonathan Franzia. @whitneyarner Replying to @kateleth new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would

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