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Greentext Stories - Images (45,872 results)

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anon lusts after cartoon women in... *strange* ways | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue)01:39:07 No.148387996 File: 345637825345.jpg (66 KB, 1200x675) >>148385937 >ywn be a weird little creature living in marceline's bellybutton it hurts bros....
Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue)01:39:07 No.148387996 File: 345637825345.jpg (66 KB, 1200x675) >>148385937 >ywn be a weird little creature living in marceline's bellybutton it hurts bros....

Greentext Stories
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Star Wars ended a relationship. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Bullet dodged 04/30/25(Wed)11:46:24 No.210273619 Another happy landing! zx1v45g104iy.png 401 KB PNG >be me 29m >been dating girl for few weeks now >have date nights every other Saturday >be at home discussing what to do for date night >"let's go see Sinners Anon I really like vampire movies" >shoot her down and tell her that's dumb >explain to her the plot and that it isn't a vampire movie >basically a groups of blacks get trapped in a speakeasy and have to fend off demon possessed white people >call it dumb >"oh yeah Anon if it's so dumb then how come it has made 84 million dollars opening night?" >tell her it's because we live in a time that it's ok if not outright encouraged for people to be openly racist against whites so of course a movie with white people as literal demons would make so much >conversation ends there >fw to date night and I'm driving to the movie theater >ask clerk for 2 tickets for Revenge of the Sith >"uhh Anon I wanna see Sinners remember" >tell her she can buy a ticket and see it alone if she wants >she says nothing >have a good time rewatching Episode 3 >date ends and I drop gf at home >don't hear from her for a few days >get a breakup text explaining that she can't be with a bigot
: Anonymous Bullet dodged 04/30/25(Wed)11:46:24 No.210273619 Another happy landing! zx1v45g104iy.png 401 KB PNG >be me 29m >been dating girl for few weeks now >have date nights every other Saturday >be at home discussing what to do for date night >"let's go see Sinners Anon I really like vampire movies" >shoot her down and tell her that's dumb >explain to her the plot and that it isn't a vampire movie >basically a groups of blacks get trapped in a speakeasy and have to fend off demon possessed white people >call it dumb >"oh yeah Anon if it's so dumb then how come it has made 84 million dollars opening night?" >tell her it's because we live in a time that it's ok if not outright encouraged for people to be openly racist against whites so of course a movie with white people as literal demons would make so much >conversation ends there >fw to date night and I'm driving to the movie theater >ask clerk for 2 tickets for Revenge of the Sith >"uhh Anon I wanna see Sinners remember" >tell her she can buy a ticket and see it alone if she wants >she says nothing >have a good time rewatching Episode 3 >date ends and I drop gf at home >don't hear from her for a few days >get a breakup text explaining that she can't be with a bigot

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Clicky clicky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 4 KB JPG 04/30/25(Wed)03:52:23 No.81026653 >be me >autistic as f---, 14, zero social awareness >school is my personal hell but I cope by obsessing over medieval swordfighting teachers tolerate me because I'm "gifted" (read: can recite the entire history of the Holy Roman Empire but can't make eye contact) >monday afternoon. >ended up eating in the corner because nobody wanted to sit within 20 yards of me >some d------- in geometry keeps clicking his pen >each click feels like a nail gun to my skull >ask him nicely to stop >"what are you gonna do about it f-----?" >some of his friends snicker >I've had enough >stand up dramatically, flip desk over >YOU WANT TO SEE ME F------ DO SOMEHTING? OKAY >channel my inner berserker and huck my history textbook at him >teacher arrives after the dude is on the floor, but im still not done >drop into a combat stance (thanks, HEMA YouTube) >WHO ELSE WANTS TO QUARREL? >entire class is either horrified or recording >teacher frantically yelling into her walkie talkie >sprint out of the room and down the hallway >pull fire alarm as a distraction >slam some normie over the head with my backpack on the way out >spend the night hiding out in the woods behind the school >come back in the morning >am immediately summoned to the principals >principal goes on a spiel about alternatives to "traditional high schools" and speaks euphemistically about a "center" >I'm sent to tard delinquient hybrid school >mfw the pen-clicker ended up moving a few weeks later 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 4 KB JPG 04/30/25(Wed)03:52:23 No.81026653 >be me >autistic as f---, 14, zero social awareness >school is my personal hell but I cope by obsessing over medieval swordfighting teachers tolerate me because I'm "gifted" (read: can recite the entire history of the Holy Roman Empire but can't make eye contact) >monday afternoon. >ended up eating in the corner because nobody wanted to sit within 20 yards of me >some d------- in geometry keeps clicking his pen >each click feels like a nail gun to my skull >ask him nicely to stop >"what are you gonna do about it f-----?" >some of his friends snicker >I've had enough >stand up dramatically, flip desk over >YOU WANT TO SEE ME F------ DO SOMEHTING? OKAY >channel my inner berserker and huck my history textbook at him >teacher arrives after the dude is on the floor, but im still not done >drop into a combat stance (thanks, HEMA YouTube) >WHO ELSE WANTS TO QUARREL? >entire class is either horrified or recording >teacher frantically yelling into her walkie talkie >sprint out of the room and down the hallway >pull fire alarm as a distraction >slam some normie over the head with my backpack on the way out >spend the night hiding out in the woods behind the school >come back in the morning >am immediately summoned to the principals >principal goes on a spiel about alternatives to "traditional high schools" and speaks euphemistically about a "center" >I'm sent to tard delinquient hybrid school >mfw the pen-clicker ended up moving a few weeks later 2 Replies View Thread

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Leaf Losses | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: qMZWS/KI) [⚫ Settings Mobile Home 04/29/25(Tue)13:47:42 No.503537563 603 KB JPG WHAT THE F--- IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO DISLODGE THE LIBERALS FROM POWER Anonymous (ID: h/eYTzRi)! Becoming a 51st state 04/29/25(Tue)13:49:00 No.503537642
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: qMZWS/KI) [⚫ Settings Mobile Home 04/29/25(Tue)13:47:42 No.503537563 603 KB JPG WHAT THE F--- IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO DISLODGE THE LIBERALS FROM POWER Anonymous (ID: h/eYTzRi)! Becoming a 51st state 04/29/25(Tue)13:49:00 No.503537642

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How does one get upvotes on 4chan? | /r/Greentext

File: 8382929.jpg (11 KB, 196x199) Anonymous 06/01/23(Thu)12:19:00 No.73522620 73522708 >>73522732 >>73522754 >Be me, 25-year-old NEET >Wake up at 2 PM, as usual >Check my phone, still no job offers >Decide to browse r9k for some relatable feels >See a post asking for greentext stories >Challengeaccepted.jpg >Start typing out my sad life story in green letters >Be me, 10-year-old kid >Parents divorced, mom left, dad is a drunk >Grow up in a broken home, constantly moving from place to place >Attend 6 different schools in 5 years >No friends, no stability, just loneliness >Hit high school, things get worse >Bullied for being the weird kid, never fit in >Escape into video games and internet as my only solace >Graduate high school, no direction, no skills >College is out of reach due to financial constraints >Feel like a failure, a disappointment to myself and everyone around me >Parents constantly berate me for not "getting my s--- together" >Sink into depression, lose all motivation >NEET life beckons, and I embrace it >Days blur together, lose track of time >No goals, no aspirations, just surviving >Family and friends slowly drift away, tired of my excuses >Only companionship is my computer screen and r9k >Every day is a cycle of self-loathing and despair >People say "get a job," but they don't understand >No one wants to hire a loser like me >Every job application met with rejection or silence >Feel like a worthless p------------ >Post my greentext story on r9k, hoping for some sympathy >Hit the submit button, the green letters fading into the abyss >Seconds turn into minutes, minutes into hours >No comments, no upvotes, just silence >Realize that even r9k doesn't care about my pathetic existence >Feel a pang of loneliness and despair deep in my chest >Close the tab, shut down my computer >Return to the comfort of my dark, lonely room >Lie down on my bed, stare at the ceiling >Another day wasted, another day of emptiness >Close my eyes, hoping for a better tomorrow >But deep down, I know it's just a fleeting dream
File: 8382929.jpg (11 KB, 196x199) Anonymous 06/01/23(Thu)12:19:00 No.73522620 73522708 >>73522732 >>73522754 >Be me, 25-year-old NEET >Wake up at 2 PM, as usual >Check my phone, still no job offers >Decide to browse r9k for some relatable feels >See a post asking for greentext stories >Challengeaccepted.jpg >Start typing out my sad life story in green letters >Be me, 10-year-old kid >Parents divorced, mom left, dad is a drunk >Grow up in a broken home, constantly moving from place to place >Attend 6 different schools in 5 years >No friends, no stability, just loneliness >Hit high school, things get worse >Bullied for being the weird kid, never fit in >Escape into video games and internet as my only solace >Graduate high school, no direction, no skills >College is out of reach due to financial constraints >Feel like a failure, a disappointment to myself and everyone around me >Parents constantly berate me for not "getting my s--- together" >Sink into depression, lose all motivation >NEET life beckons, and I embrace it >Days blur together, lose track of time >No goals, no aspirations, just surviving >Family and friends slowly drift away, tired of my excuses >Only companionship is my computer screen and r9k >Every day is a cycle of self-loathing and despair >People say "get a job," but they don't understand >No one wants to hire a loser like me >Every job application met with rejection or silence >Feel like a worthless p------------ >Post my greentext story on r9k, hoping for some sympathy >Hit the submit button, the green letters fading into the abyss >Seconds turn into minutes, minutes into hours >No comments, no upvotes, just silence >Realize that even r9k doesn't care about my pathetic existence >Feel a pang of loneliness and despair deep in my chest >Close the tab, shut down my computer >Return to the comfort of my dark, lonely room >Lie down on my bed, stare at the ceiling >Another day wasted, another day of emptiness >Close my eyes, hoping for a better tomorrow >But deep down, I know it's just a fleeting dream

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Anon is decisive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous W-- 04/29/25(Tue)23:32:26 No.708596927 Yorch Torch Games @YorchTorch Games - Apr 27 Gamers, Who wins? Final Fantasy VII, PS1 Chrono Trigger Expedition 33 2,587 votes Final results . 92 1723 67 ill 44K 1745970056147708.png 48 KB PNG Is Expedition 33 really better than both FF7 and Chrono Trigger??? 18.8% 18.8% 62.4% Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue)23:32:54 No.708596946 No : Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue)23:33:13 No.708596963 Yes : Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue)23:33:54 No.708596992 Maybe 74 KB JPG
: Anonymous W-- 04/29/25(Tue)23:32:26 No.708596927 Yorch Torch Games @YorchTorch Games - Apr 27 Gamers, Who wins? Final Fantasy VII, PS1 Chrono Trigger Expedition 33 2,587 votes Final results . 92 1723 67 ill 44K 1745970056147708.png 48 KB PNG Is Expedition 33 really better than both FF7 and Chrono Trigger??? 18.8% 18.8% 62.4% Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue)23:32:54 No.708596946 No : Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue)23:33:13 No.708596963 Yes : Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue)23:33:54 No.708596992 Maybe 74 KB JPG

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Anon has religions studies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Tue 29 Apr 2025 13:02:47 No.148388127 Quoted By: >>148388146 >>148388206 >>148388685 >>148387692 >be me >think Yahweh is the one true god, always has been >find out he was originally just another Canaanite deity Report >mfw Yahweh was basically Baal's coworker before getting promoted >El was the big boss >Baal was the storm chad >Shahar and Shalim were out here running the dawn and dusk cycle >mfw Yahweh was just a minor regional deity before Israelites gave him a monopoly >ancient Israelites: "ok guys, Yahweh is supreme now" >still awkwardly leave traces of El and Asherah in early texts >mfw the Bible is just a heavily edited lorebook with retcons >fast forward to Christianity >Yahweh now has **two extra forms** >Jesus, the human DLC >The Holy Spirit, the vague ethereal patch update >mfw Christianity turned Yahweh into a three-in-one deal >see the Zeus Deus connection >realize even the Christian "God" title has Indo-European origins >mfw religion is just mythology with better branding >mfw theology is just an eternal game of divine rebranding
Anonymous Tue 29 Apr 2025 13:02:47 No.148388127 Quoted By: >>148388146 >>148388206 >>148388685 >>148387692 >be me >think Yahweh is the one true god, always has been >find out he was originally just another Canaanite deity Report >mfw Yahweh was basically Baal's coworker before getting promoted >El was the big boss >Baal was the storm chad >Shahar and Shalim were out here running the dawn and dusk cycle >mfw Yahweh was just a minor regional deity before Israelites gave him a monopoly >ancient Israelites: "ok guys, Yahweh is supreme now" >still awkwardly leave traces of El and Asherah in early texts >mfw the Bible is just a heavily edited lorebook with retcons >fast forward to Christianity >Yahweh now has **two extra forms** >Jesus, the human DLC >The Holy Spirit, the vague ethereal patch update >mfw Christianity turned Yahweh into a three-in-one deal >see the Zeus Deus connection >realize even the Christian "God" title has Indo-European origins >mfw religion is just mythology with better branding >mfw theology is just an eternal game of divine rebranding

Greentext Stories
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Soylent Brown | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous MADE Settings Mobile Home 04/29/25(Tue)17:29:37 No.81021931 WITH MAPLE SWEETNESS PURE SYRUP T--- PEAK HILLTOP MAPLE FLAVOURED SYRUP 444 KB PNG You will never be real maple syrup You have no vitamins, you have no minerals. You are corn sloryp twisted by chemicals and flavourings into a crude mockery of natures perfection. Anonymous >>81021931 (OP) >Uses british brand Kill yourself 04/29/25(Tue)17:33:07 No.81021954
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous MADE Settings Mobile Home 04/29/25(Tue)17:29:37 No.81021931 WITH MAPLE SWEETNESS PURE SYRUP T--- PEAK HILLTOP MAPLE FLAVOURED SYRUP 444 KB PNG You will never be real maple syrup You have no vitamins, you have no minerals. You are corn sloryp twisted by chemicals and flavourings into a crude mockery of natures perfection. Anonymous >>81021931 (OP) >Uses british brand Kill yourself 04/29/25(Tue)17:33:07 No.81021954

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To Catch a 4Channer | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 04/29/25(Tue)17:39:54 No.81022005 LFF u/Lucy_StopltNow_UK Promoted Having online sexual conversations with under-16s is illegal. If you're caught grooming children online, you could lose everything, including your family and career. Get anonymous help to stop now. For anonymous support to stop. Call or search Stop It Now 0808 1000 900 Stop it now Stop It Now helpline. 244 KB PNG >Have you been having sexual conversations with minors online? >Did you know that if we find out about that, you could lose everything? >So call and confess your crimes to us today, and we will definitely not report you to the authorities and use it as evidence against you in court! Do glowies expect this to work?
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 04/29/25(Tue)17:39:54 No.81022005 LFF u/Lucy_StopltNow_UK Promoted Having online sexual conversations with under-16s is illegal. If you're caught grooming children online, you could lose everything, including your family and career. Get anonymous help to stop now. For anonymous support to stop. Call or search Stop It Now 0808 1000 900 Stop it now Stop It Now helpline. 244 KB PNG >Have you been having sexual conversations with minors online? >Did you know that if we find out about that, you could lose everything? >So call and confess your crimes to us today, and we will definitely not report you to the authorities and use it as evidence against you in court! Do glowies expect this to work?

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Pordan Jeeterson | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: eCWLefDG)! 04/29/25(Tue)14:20:35 No.503539634 >It's all about individualism. Collectivism is bad. >You NEED to fall in line and act like these rigid masculine stereotypes. Does he ever get called out for this? 71 KB JPG
Anonymous (ID: eCWLefDG)! 04/29/25(Tue)14:20:35 No.503539634 >It's all about individualism. Collectivism is bad. >You NEED to fall in line and act like these rigid masculine stereotypes. Does he ever get called out for this? 71 KB JPG

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Despite my fears I dance for you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous F--- YOU PEOPLE 04/29/25(Tue)16:40:11 No.81018757 >get gf >tell her my d--- is 5.5" so dont get your hopes up >eventually whip it out for her for the first time >"anon what the f--- did you 57 KB JPG measure it wrong i thought it'd be smaller than that" >proceed to have rather nervewracking but fulfilling seggs Why did you guys lie to me?
: Anonymous F--- YOU PEOPLE 04/29/25(Tue)16:40:11 No.81018757 >get gf >tell her my d--- is 5.5" so dont get your hopes up >eventually whip it out for her for the first time >"anon what the f--- did you 57 KB JPG measure it wrong i thought it'd be smaller than that" >proceed to have rather nervewracking but fulfilling seggs Why did you guys lie to me?

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Brutally productive day in Portugal | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: XKRtYMNB I saved Portugal today 34 KB JPG 04/29/25(Tue)04:59:58 No.503474773 >be me >Portuguese electricity worker, blackout hits country >boss calls me urgently, entire city is down >arrive on scene, easy fix, just one loose cable >locals already firing up BBQ, pulling out vinho verde >"Anon, relax! No rush! Francesinhas almost ready!" >10 minutes later, neighbor's hot sister brings pastéis de nata >stay longer just to admire her 'assets' >someone else shows up with bacalhau à Brás and fresh bifanas >"Anon, have some vinho do Porto, power can wait" >entire neighborhood now eating and drinking, blackout turned into festa >boss calls again >"Very serious issue, gonna take 10 hours at least!" >spend entire day eating like a king, sneaking glances at neighbor's sister >finally reconnect cable after sunset, everyone disappointed party is over >another brutally productive day in Portugal
Anonymous (ID: XKRtYMNB I saved Portugal today 34 KB JPG 04/29/25(Tue)04:59:58 No.503474773 >be me >Portuguese electricity worker, blackout hits country >boss calls me urgently, entire city is down >arrive on scene, easy fix, just one loose cable >locals already firing up BBQ, pulling out vinho verde >"Anon, relax! No rush! Francesinhas almost ready!" >10 minutes later, neighbor's hot sister brings pastéis de nata >stay longer just to admire her 'assets' >someone else shows up with bacalhau à Brás and fresh bifanas >"Anon, have some vinho do Porto, power can wait" >entire neighborhood now eating and drinking, blackout turned into festa >boss calls again >"Very serious issue, gonna take 10 hours at least!" >spend entire day eating like a king, sneaking glances at neighbor's sister >finally reconnect cable after sunset, everyone disappointed party is over >another brutally productive day in Portugal

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Anon ups the ante. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue) 09:49:58 No.81019917 >people think they're smart for saying "Iberian Penninsula" instead of Spain and Portugal Just shut up. 31 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread Anonymous >>81019917 (OP) # 04/29/25(Tue)09:51:42 No.81019928 Should i say Al-Andalus instead?
: Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue) 09:49:58 No.81019917 >people think they're smart for saying "Iberian Penninsula" instead of Spain and Portugal Just shut up. 31 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread Anonymous >>81019917 (OP) # 04/29/25(Tue)09:51:42 No.81019928 Should i say Al-Andalus instead?

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Anon tries reddit during the 4chan hack | /r/Greentext

Anonymous plebbit 04/29/25(Tue)09:35:23 No.81019082 599 KB JPG >be me >spend a lot of time lurking on reddit during the shutdown (hurr durr reddit bad i know) >try to make comment on some post >"sorry, you don't have enough karma for that!" >try to post asking how to get karma >"sorry, you don't have enough karma for that!" >find subreddit literally specially made to help new users get karma so they can interact >try to post or comment there >"you've been doing that too much! try again in 10 minutes" >roll my eyes and leave the site, play vidya for an hour >go back to the site, try and log in >account banned for "suspicious activity" what a f------ s------- of a site lol
Anonymous plebbit 04/29/25(Tue)09:35:23 No.81019082 599 KB JPG >be me >spend a lot of time lurking on reddit during the shutdown (hurr durr reddit bad i know) >try to make comment on some post >"sorry, you don't have enough karma for that!" >try to post asking how to get karma >"sorry, you don't have enough karma for that!" >find subreddit literally specially made to help new users get karma so they can interact >try to post or comment there >"you've been doing that too much! try again in 10 minutes" >roll my eyes and leave the site, play vidya for an hour >go back to the site, try and log in >account banned for "suspicious activity" what a f------ s------- of a site lol

Greentext Stories
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Anon avoids the rape dwarves | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/28/25(Mon)09:40:37 No.933958870 1.26 MB JPG >change my car insurance to avoid the r--- dwarves >keep ignoring letter from Liberty mutual begging for me back >eventually I get a knock on a door >giant ass f------ bird >spreads its wings, screeches, and attacks. me >oh f---, emu talons are sharp >the f------ bird beats me within an inch of my life >I feel its beak pulling down at my waistband >I say out loud "oh god... first the r--- dwarves and now it's the r--- Emu...” >I feel two human hands grabbing my hips >"...and Doug"
Anonymous 04/28/25(Mon)09:40:37 No.933958870 1.26 MB JPG >change my car insurance to avoid the r--- dwarves >keep ignoring letter from Liberty mutual begging for me back >eventually I get a knock on a door >giant ass f------ bird >spreads its wings, screeches, and attacks. me >oh f---, emu talons are sharp >the f------ bird beats me within an inch of my life >I feel its beak pulling down at my waistband >I say out loud "oh god... first the r--- dwarves and now it's the r--- Emu...” >I feel two human hands grabbing my hips >"...and Doug"

Greentext Stories
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Anon Discovers Irish History | /r/Greentext

File: FtdNACXWcAlsaYf.jpg (82 KB, 600x800) >Chimps out (1998 AD), given >Still seething to this day What the f--- is their problem? ☐ Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue)14:11:38 No.17655461 >Invades Scotland (400 AD) >Brutally erases native Pictish culture & language >Invades Wales & England (600-800 AD) >Enslaves thousands, steals land, sacks monasteries (despite being Christian) >... >Invaded by Vikings (800 AD), lost >Invaded by Normans (1200 AD), lost >Invaded by Tudors (1600 AD), lost >Chimps out (1640 AD), lost >Invaded by Cromwell (1650 AD), lost >Invaded by William of Orange (1680 AD), lost >Chimps out (1798 AD), lost >Chimps out (1916 AD), lost >Chimps out (1921 AD), given everything they wanted >Immediate civil war (1922 AD) >Northern Irish don't want to hire them, so: everything they wanted
File: FtdNACXWcAlsaYf.jpg (82 KB, 600x800) >Chimps out (1998 AD), given >Still seething to this day What the f--- is their problem? ☐ Anonymous 04/29/25(Tue)14:11:38 No.17655461 >Invades Scotland (400 AD) >Brutally erases native Pictish culture & language >Invades Wales & England (600-800 AD) >Enslaves thousands, steals land, sacks monasteries (despite being Christian) >... >Invaded by Vikings (800 AD), lost >Invaded by Normans (1200 AD), lost >Invaded by Tudors (1600 AD), lost >Chimps out (1640 AD), lost >Invaded by Cromwell (1650 AD), lost >Invaded by William of Orange (1680 AD), lost >Chimps out (1798 AD), lost >Chimps out (1916 AD), lost >Chimps out (1921 AD), given everything they wanted >Immediate civil war (1922 AD) >Northern Irish don't want to hire them, so: everything they wanted

Greentext Stories
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