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Greentext Stories - Images (46,264 results)

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Anon likes soap. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous milky shower 05/30/25(Fri)03:56:12 No.81332548 I wake up there is C-- 242 KB PNG >be me >that one unemployed retard who's always late >have a hangout planned at 1pm >put alarm at 9am >alarms rings for 30 mins before i realise that weird sound was that sign to get up >get back to bed and get up at 10 >Take coffee, and stare at my s------- motorcycle, trying to figure what's the next thing that'll die on me >it's already 11am >Mfw i got time to j------- >J------- to one punch man episode >a gud start of a day >get in the shower at 11:45 >use a soap that's milk scent, it looks like c-- but smells good af >notice c-- on myself >did i just randomly c-- again? >taste test that shi cuz im not trying to shower c-- all over myself >at first had my doubts, but the taste of soap filled my mouth >realise im a f------ retard who would have ate his c-- if it wasn't soap >get out of shower >taste check soap directly from bottle to reassure my clean freak brain >Face the retard i am in the mirror and leave >miss my train Im now late writing this retarded greentext cuz someone gotta know how i got late this time Still vouch for milky soap, that shi is fire even if u eat it View Thread
Anonymous milky shower 05/30/25(Fri)03:56:12 No.81332548 I wake up there is C-- 242 KB PNG >be me >that one unemployed retard who's always late >have a hangout planned at 1pm >put alarm at 9am >alarms rings for 30 mins before i realise that weird sound was that sign to get up >get back to bed and get up at 10 >Take coffee, and stare at my s------- motorcycle, trying to figure what's the next thing that'll die on me >it's already 11am >Mfw i got time to j------- >J------- to one punch man episode >a gud start of a day >get in the shower at 11:45 >use a soap that's milk scent, it looks like c-- but smells good af >notice c-- on myself >did i just randomly c-- again? >taste test that shi cuz im not trying to shower c-- all over myself >at first had my doubts, but the taste of soap filled my mouth >realise im a f------ retard who would have ate his c-- if it wasn't soap >get out of shower >taste check soap directly from bottle to reassure my clean freak brain >Face the retard i am in the mirror and leave >miss my train Im now late writing this retarded greentext cuz someone gotta know how i got late this time Still vouch for milky soap, that shi is fire even if u eat it View Thread

Greentext Stories

Anon need a mechanic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: dFAq9Qln) 05/29/25(Thu)13:10:46 No.505887400 808 600 "I need my car fixed" "I can do that" IMG_4731.jpg 48 KB JPG "Are you the mechanic?" "No but I know a thing or two" "Okay I want the actual mechanic" "Are you saying I'm not allowed to have an opinion?" "I'm saying you're not an expert and I don't want you to touch my car" "I never said I'm an expert" "Then why are you offering to fix my car?" This is what talking to Dave Smith is like.
Anonymous (ID: dFAq9Qln) 05/29/25(Thu)13:10:46 No.505887400 808 600 "I need my car fixed" "I can do that" IMG_4731.jpg 48 KB JPG "Are you the mechanic?" "No but I know a thing or two" "Okay I want the actual mechanic" "Are you saying I'm not allowed to have an opinion?" "I'm saying you're not an expert and I don't want you to touch my car" "I never said I'm an expert" "Then why are you offering to fix my car?" This is what talking to Dave Smith is like.

Greentext Stories

Anon reads self-help books | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 49 KB JPG 09/15/21(Wed)14:42:06 No.65: >male self-help book >ctrl+f; "you have to >342 results >female self-help book >ctrl+f; "you deserve" >764 results
Anonymous 49 KB JPG 09/15/21(Wed)14:42:06 No.65: >male self-help book >ctrl+f; "you have to >342 results >female self-help book >ctrl+f; "you deserve" >764 results

Greentext Stories

>BANG BANG BANG | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/29/25(Thu)17:40:24 No.210992475 FiqeeY8VQAEcjtl.jpg 15 KB JPG >BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
Anonymous 05/29/25(Thu)17:40:24 No.210992475 FiqeeY8VQAEcjtl.jpg 15 KB JPG >BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Greentext Stories

Anon has a weird childhood memory | /r/Greentext

Page 2 [=] File (hide): 13834_-_SoyBooru.png ImgOps (263.6 KB, 640x730) Soyprano 2 hours ago Nº11378295 [Reply] >Once when I was about fifteen, I went downstairs in the morning to get breakfast completely naked. It was summer and my parents were out, and it just felt good to walk around that big empty house naked. The dog was in the kitchen and he woke up and began to bark, then he started to nuzzle up and sniff me (he was only a young dog, not very well trained and a bit stupid). I suddenly realized that the dog had this huge hard-on, and he kept trying to climb up me. I think I was fascinated and I kept stroking him. Half of me wanted to let him - let him do what? at that age I didn't really know what he'd do - and the other half was ashamed. But God, it was a strong impulse, to close my eyes and let his nose go where it would. I've always wondered what it would have been like if I hadn't got on with my breakfast. I've elaborated the picture a thousand different ways, complete with the dog's prick inside me, and my family walking in on the scene...you name it. 24 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click to expand.
Page 2 [=] File (hide): 13834_-_SoyBooru.png ImgOps (263.6 KB, 640x730) Soyprano 2 hours ago Nº11378295 [Reply] >Once when I was about fifteen, I went downstairs in the morning to get breakfast completely naked. It was summer and my parents were out, and it just felt good to walk around that big empty house naked. The dog was in the kitchen and he woke up and began to bark, then he started to nuzzle up and sniff me (he was only a young dog, not very well trained and a bit stupid). I suddenly realized that the dog had this huge hard-on, and he kept trying to climb up me. I think I was fascinated and I kept stroking him. Half of me wanted to let him - let him do what? at that age I didn't really know what he'd do - and the other half was ashamed. But God, it was a strong impulse, to close my eyes and let his nose go where it would. I've always wondered what it would have been like if I hadn't got on with my breakfast. I've elaborated the picture a thousand different ways, complete with the dog's prick inside me, and my family walking in on the scene...you name it. 24 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click to expand.

Greentext Stories

I only play good games | /r/Greentext

404 KB PNG Western gaming is dyi... Wait a minute... I only play Japanese games!
404 KB PNG Western gaming is dyi... Wait a minute... I only play Japanese games!

Greentext Stories

anon buys a gun | /r/Greentext

4d (05/25/25 07:27) · 63729057 - 89 Re. 11 Img JPG .28KB. (600×400) · James-Bond-and-The-Walther-PPK-48521744.jpg 12 Replies C Walther PPK >be me >see Walther PPK on GunBroker >always wanted one since I was 12 and saw Bond mag dump some communist in a tux >Impulse place bid >win >cool.jpg >realize I just put it on my 3rd maxed credit card >whatever >keep browsing >see another PPK, Interarms import, clean as hell >brain says "hey wouldn't it be funny if you owned two” >bid on it >still the highest bidder >auction ends soon >panic intensifies >already owe Visa more than I make in a month >can't eat another week of ramen and shame >wife will literally execute me with one of the PPKS >link for the one I'm trying to lose: https://www.gunbroker.com /item/1105313330 >someone please outbid me >you're not broke, you're just early in your fiscal irresponsibility arc >perfect gun for Bond LARPing or Cold War LARPing or just putting in a sock drawer and forgetting you own it >I do not need two >hell, I probably don't even need one >pls save me from myself >credit score hanging on by a thread >f I win this I'm paying it off in brass and tears outbid me you coward
4d (05/25/25 07:27) · 63729057 - 89 Re. 11 Img JPG .28KB. (600×400) · James-Bond-and-The-Walther-PPK-48521744.jpg 12 Replies C Walther PPK >be me >see Walther PPK on GunBroker >always wanted one since I was 12 and saw Bond mag dump some communist in a tux >Impulse place bid >win >cool.jpg >realize I just put it on my 3rd maxed credit card >whatever >keep browsing >see another PPK, Interarms import, clean as hell >brain says "hey wouldn't it be funny if you owned two” >bid on it >still the highest bidder >auction ends soon >panic intensifies >already owe Visa more than I make in a month >can't eat another week of ramen and shame >wife will literally execute me with one of the PPKS >link for the one I'm trying to lose: https://www.gunbroker.com /item/1105313330 >someone please outbid me >you're not broke, you're just early in your fiscal irresponsibility arc >perfect gun for Bond LARPing or Cold War LARPing or just putting in a sock drawer and forgetting you own it >I do not need two >hell, I probably don't even need one >pls save me from myself >credit score hanging on by a thread >f I win this I'm paying it off in brass and tears outbid me you coward

Greentext Stories

To goon, or not to goon. That is the question | /r/Greentext

Anonymous sir" 23 KB JPG 12/01/20(Tue)07:20:53 No.58663104 > looking for new fat art > ask a fetish artist if they draw weight gain or belly expansion > they don't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is weight gain vs. belly expansion > they laugh and say "it's good fat art > subscribe to their patreon > its belly expansion
Anonymous sir" 23 KB JPG 12/01/20(Tue)07:20:53 No.58663104 > looking for new fat art > ask a fetish artist if they draw weight gain or belly expansion > they don't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is weight gain vs. belly expansion > they laugh and say "it's good fat art > subscribe to their patreon > its belly expansion

Greentext Stories

Are we the badies? | /r/Greentext

Are we the baddies? and she shot him down Anonymous 10/27/23(Fri)17:32:27 No.75209091 ► >be me >buddy of mine is in a horrible mood >says he asked out a girl >apparently some dude in her class asked her out right after and she said yes >trying to cheer my buddy up >he goes on a rant about how girls will always choose s----- abusive bullies over good people >says he hopes he abuses her so she can see how wrong she was >he calls the guy who asked her out a worthless p------------ scumbag >piques my interest >i do a little snooping for this guy online >he's on our school football team >part of UNICEF >he's tagged in a post made by a local soup kitchen, turns out he volunteers there 2x a month >think about my friend >doesn't work out >only hobbies are video games and shitposting >no job >unironically once got in trouble for trying to steal from a homeless man guys maybe the normies are right
Are we the baddies? and she shot him down Anonymous 10/27/23(Fri)17:32:27 No.75209091 ► >be me >buddy of mine is in a horrible mood >says he asked out a girl >apparently some dude in her class asked her out right after and she said yes >trying to cheer my buddy up >he goes on a rant about how girls will always choose s----- abusive bullies over good people >says he hopes he abuses her so she can see how wrong she was >he calls the guy who asked her out a worthless p------------ scumbag >piques my interest >i do a little snooping for this guy online >he's on our school football team >part of UNICEF >he's tagged in a post made by a local soup kitchen, turns out he volunteers there 2x a month >think about my friend >doesn't work out >only hobbies are video games and shitposting >no job >unironically once got in trouble for trying to steal from a homeless man guys maybe the normies are right

Greentext Stories

Anon is an odd fellow | /r/Greentext

File: pearl ham.png (278 KB, 600x600) Pearl Ham even flow >NO MOTHER Anonymous 05/29/25(Thu)00:55:05 No.210985416 ► >SKIIIIIINER >TRYIN TO MAKE AN UNFORGETTABLE LUNCHEON >CHAAAALMERS >MADE IT DESPITE SEYMOURS POOR DIRECTION >OH YEEEEEE GODS >THE ROAST IS UP IN FLAMES LOUDLY BURIN' >FAAAAAST FOOD >WHAT IF HE DISGUISES IT AS HIS OWN COOKIN'? >STEEEEEEAMED HAAAAAMS >THAT'S WHAT HE CALLS HAMBURGERS >OH HE DON'T KNOW >BUT THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY GRILLED >OH SOMEDAY YET >HE'LL STOP HIS LYYYYYYING >THOSE ARE JUST THE NORTHERN LIGHTS NORTHERN LIGHTS NORTHERN LIGHTS
File: pearl ham.png (278 KB, 600x600) Pearl Ham even flow >NO MOTHER Anonymous 05/29/25(Thu)00:55:05 No.210985416 ► >SKIIIIIINER >TRYIN TO MAKE AN UNFORGETTABLE LUNCHEON >CHAAAALMERS >MADE IT DESPITE SEYMOURS POOR DIRECTION >OH YEEEEEE GODS >THE ROAST IS UP IN FLAMES LOUDLY BURIN' >FAAAAAST FOOD >WHAT IF HE DISGUISES IT AS HIS OWN COOKIN'? >STEEEEEEAMED HAAAAAMS >THAT'S WHAT HE CALLS HAMBURGERS >OH HE DON'T KNOW >BUT THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY GRILLED >OH SOMEDAY YET >HE'LL STOP HIS LYYYYYYING >THOSE ARE JUST THE NORTHERN LIGHTS NORTHERN LIGHTS NORTHERN LIGHTS

Greentext Stories

Anon needs to find God | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: GKD7+FZO) 05/29/25(Thu)12:56:13 No.22741220 63 KB JPG >gf confesses to me how she was r---- by her dad >I accidentally get diamond hard while she's telling me the details >got p----- and left and hasn't spoken to me since Its been 2 weeks now. How can I apologize to her and get her back? How was I supposed to know her r--- story was gonna be so hot and steamy and boner inducing. She should just get over it
Anonymous (ID: GKD7+FZO) 05/29/25(Thu)12:56:13 No.22741220 63 KB JPG >gf confesses to me how she was r---- by her dad >I accidentally get diamond hard while she's telling me the details >got p----- and left and hasn't spoken to me since Its been 2 weeks now. How can I apologize to her and get her back? How was I supposed to know her r--- story was gonna be so hot and steamy and boner inducing. She should just get over it

Greentext Stories

What is anon doing wrong? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What am I doing wrong? My heart at this point is beating out of my chest. 125 KB JPG 05/28/25(Wed)12:39:21 No.81309481 >just learn to read the room bro >only approach if she gives you signs like eye contact >*approaches the girls who was eyeballing me from afar* >she recoils, turns out she was looking out of childlike curiosity for alien races
: Anonymous What am I doing wrong? My heart at this point is beating out of my chest. 125 KB JPG 05/28/25(Wed)12:39:21 No.81309481 >just learn to read the room bro >only approach if she gives you signs like eye contact >*approaches the girls who was eyeballing me from afar* >she recoils, turns out she was looking out of childlike curiosity for alien races

Greentext Stories

Anon is concerned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 05/29/25(Thu)01:31:47 No.81320921 >Hear heartbeat in one ear >Look it up >Google says it's a sign that I'm going to suffer in so many horrible ways >Convince myself it's just earwax >But Google says earwax doesn't usually cause this >Clean my ear with hydrogen peroxide anyway >Pulse sound goes away >Next night (tonight) hear it again It's just earwax right guys? Yeah maybe I'm fat but I'm 24 years old, I'm young and still have time to procrastinate by eating like s--- and not exercising before I'll eventually have to gymslave and dietslave, I'm perfectly healthy now like I've always been, there's nothing wrong with me now...right? 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 05/29/25(Thu)01:31:47 No.81320921 >Hear heartbeat in one ear >Look it up >Google says it's a sign that I'm going to suffer in so many horrible ways >Convince myself it's just earwax >But Google says earwax doesn't usually cause this >Clean my ear with hydrogen peroxide anyway >Pulse sound goes away >Next night (tonight) hear it again It's just earwax right guys? Yeah maybe I'm fat but I'm 24 years old, I'm young and still have time to procrastinate by eating like s--- and not exercising before I'll eventually have to gymslave and dietslave, I'm perfectly healthy now like I've always been, there's nothing wrong with me now...right? 6 Replies View Thread

Greentext Stories

Anon competes with (even bigger) fatties | /r/Greentext

>Slow going but hey, it's progress! >Then sees the show "My 600 Pound Life" Coming out of fat air Anonymous 05/29/25(Thu)05:15:43 No.935083074 ► >Be me >Still has issues with women but figures I can work on myself. >Working out, eating right, losing weight. >See these Jabbamaxxing chuds as I am glad I'm not like them. >Sees they actually have spouses >Gets discouraged. Are you f------ seriously telling me these bed rotting amorphous blobs of worthlessness are able to find a partner and here I am busting my hump and I cannot even get a date? So not only do we have to compete with Chads and Tyrones, we gotta compete with Chicken Bone and Biscuit Shotgunner? Enough for a man to become a neet.
>Slow going but hey, it's progress! >Then sees the show "My 600 Pound Life" Coming out of fat air Anonymous 05/29/25(Thu)05:15:43 No.935083074 ► >Be me >Still has issues with women but figures I can work on myself. >Working out, eating right, losing weight. >See these Jabbamaxxing chuds as I am glad I'm not like them. >Sees they actually have spouses >Gets discouraged. Are you f------ seriously telling me these bed rotting amorphous blobs of worthlessness are able to find a partner and here I am busting my hump and I cannot even get a date? So not only do we have to compete with Chads and Tyrones, we gotta compete with Chicken Bone and Biscuit Shotgunner? Enough for a man to become a neet.

Greentext Stories

Ayame Grindset | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/28/22(Sat)13:08:09 No. 25091578 1653331458909.png 1.37 MB PNG *CH-CHING a deposit has been made into your account for 1,000,000 JPY* *leaves*
Anonymous 05/28/22(Sat)13:08:09 No. 25091578 1653331458909.png 1.37 MB PNG *CH-CHING a deposit has been made into your account for 1,000,000 JPY* *leaves*

Greentext Stories

/v/ "logic" | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/28/25(Wed) 13:19:00 No.710882991 STOP DOING THIS S--- I_will_now_buy_your_game.jpg 117 KB JPG >Pointless, edgy, over the top, cringe gore: Fine >Appealing female characters: Problematic Explain me this "logic" I will now buy your game
Anonymous 05/28/25(Wed) 13:19:00 No.710882991 STOP DOING THIS S--- I_will_now_buy_your_game.jpg 117 KB JPG >Pointless, edgy, over the top, cringe gore: Fine >Appealing female characters: Problematic Explain me this "logic" I will now buy your game

Greentext Stories
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