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Anon’s GF does a lil bit of trolling | /r/Greentext


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Don't Fuck With Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 33 KB JPG 07/20/21 (Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level
Anonymous 33 KB JPG 07/20/21 (Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level

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Checked, keked, and rekt | /r/Greentext


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story_time.dlc | /r/Greentext


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Black lives matter even in WoW | /r/Greentext


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Anon reminisces the good old days | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a thing for autistic chicks | /r/Greentext


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Anon drank the | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes insane | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/22(Sat)01:29:47 No.880757323 >take a s--- >wipe until the paper comes clean >later on >feel an itch in the ass >go to bathroom to wipe >there is s--- on the paper 40 KB JPG it's the little things that make you go insane 18 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/25/22(Sat)01:29:47 No.880757323 >take a s--- >wipe until the paper comes clean >later on >feel an itch in the ass >go to bathroom to wipe >there is s--- on the paper 40 KB JPG it's the little things that make you go insane 18 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/27/22(Mon) 07:46:37 No.880896681 >be me, 22yo femanon >on bumble >get asked on date with slightly older anon 138 KB JPG >say yes, freeicecream.jpg >we get to ice cream shop >mostly silence for first several minutes >ask him if hes excited about getting his masters >says no hes dreading it >starts rambling about "existential anxiety" >ohfuck.exe >begins explaining to me theres no good or evil >ask him w-- he means >says chimps kill babies and r--- eachother >asks if i feel better >say kinda >he says lets go wtfjusthappened, was he f------ with me?
: Anonymous 06/27/22(Mon) 07:46:37 No.880896681 >be me, 22yo femanon >on bumble >get asked on date with slightly older anon 138 KB JPG >say yes, freeicecream.jpg >we get to ice cream shop >mostly silence for first several minutes >ask him if hes excited about getting his masters >says no hes dreading it >starts rambling about "existential anxiety" >ohfuck.exe >begins explaining to me theres no good or evil >ask him w-- he means >says chimps kill babies and r--- eachother >asks if i feel better >say kinda >he says lets go wtfjusthappened, was he f------ with me?

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Anons brother has braincel damagemaxx | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 06/29/22 (Wed)23:26:07 No.69225352 >brother is an incel >or was one, can't really be called anything nowadays >he was extremely deep into the subculture >tried hanging himself in December >we managed to save him at basically the last second >but he got major brain damage >ever since recovering, he can't form a meaningful sentence, and every other word he says has the suffix "-cel" attached to it >basically sounds like Boomhauer except reading the incel wiki >for example, we were making some porridge for him to eat recently, since he has trouble swallowing >kept calling us "porridgecels" and "breakfastcels" all other sorts of nonsense insults with "-cel" attached >whenever the news comes on, he starts hurling racial epithets with "-cel" attached (you can guess what they're like) >also attaches "-maxx" to random words, like "I'm hungrymaxxed" or "I need to shitmaxx" >threw a coke can at the Amazon delivery guy today and called him a "wagemaxxed mailcel" : Anonymous Put me in the screencap for Reddit, thanks. 06/29/22(Wed)23:29:17 No.69225369 Anonymous 2 KB JPG : Anonymous 66 KB JPG Anonymous 06/30/22(Thu)00:16:34 No.69225667 347 KB PNG >>69225352 (OP) # Has he been having kekvulsions since the brain-cel damage? 06/30/22(Thu)00:18:03 No.69225673 >>69225352 (OP) # >threw a coke can at the Amazon delivery guy today and called him a "wagemaxxed mailcel" Is this your brother? : Anonymous >>69225352 (OP) # PUT ME IN SCREENIE DAMMIT. I was here. 06/30/22(Thu)00:35:08 No.69225799 06/30/22(Thu)00:37:37 No.69225820 >>69225352 (OP) # >wagemaxxed mailcel My god your brother is like Neo. He sees through the Matrix. He is the one.
: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 06/29/22 (Wed)23:26:07 No.69225352 >brother is an incel >or was one, can't really be called anything nowadays >he was extremely deep into the subculture >tried hanging himself in December >we managed to save him at basically the last second >but he got major brain damage >ever since recovering, he can't form a meaningful sentence, and every other word he says has the suffix "-cel" attached to it >basically sounds like Boomhauer except reading the incel wiki >for example, we were making some porridge for him to eat recently, since he has trouble swallowing >kept calling us "porridgecels" and "breakfastcels" all other sorts of nonsense insults with "-cel" attached >whenever the news comes on, he starts hurling racial epithets with "-cel" attached (you can guess what they're like) >also attaches "-maxx" to random words, like "I'm hungrymaxxed" or "I need to shitmaxx" >threw a coke can at the Amazon delivery guy today and called him a "wagemaxxed mailcel" : Anonymous Put me in the screencap for Reddit, thanks. 06/29/22(Wed)23:29:17 No.69225369 Anonymous 2 KB JPG : Anonymous 66 KB JPG Anonymous 06/30/22(Thu)00:16:34 No.69225667 347 KB PNG >>69225352 (OP) # Has he been having kekvulsions since the brain-cel damage? 06/30/22(Thu)00:18:03 No.69225673 >>69225352 (OP) # >threw a coke can at the Amazon delivery guy today and called him a "wagemaxxed mailcel" Is this your brother? : Anonymous >>69225352 (OP) # PUT ME IN SCREENIE DAMMIT. I was here. 06/30/22(Thu)00:35:08 No.69225799 06/30/22(Thu)00:37:37 No.69225820 >>69225352 (OP) # >wagemaxxed mailcel My god your brother is like Neo. He sees through the Matrix. He is the one.

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Feels bad man | /r/Greentext

1C696DEB-2A1B-4275-8260-886BCD4B1BD1.jpg 89 KB JPG >Be me, a rock >Glacier broke me off of my mother rock and deposited me inside a hill >FFW a couple of billion years, some guys dig me up. Sit me on top of the hill. Nice view >They tell me I'm a glacier erratic and one of the biggest they've ever found >They name me after this guy Chamberlin who studied glacier geology. He was all about my family and me. >Feels good man >A newspaper called my another name one time >These people called social justice warriors are upset about that name they called me that one time >They say I make them feel sad >Men with a big truck pick me up and move me somewhere else. >I miss my hill >I'm just a rock guys. I'm not racist.
1C696DEB-2A1B-4275-8260-886BCD4B1BD1.jpg 89 KB JPG >Be me, a rock >Glacier broke me off of my mother rock and deposited me inside a hill >FFW a couple of billion years, some guys dig me up. Sit me on top of the hill. Nice view >They tell me I'm a glacier erratic and one of the biggest they've ever found >They name me after this guy Chamberlin who studied glacier geology. He was all about my family and me. >Feels good man >A newspaper called my another name one time >These people called social justice warriors are upset about that name they called me that one time >They say I make them feel sad >Men with a big truck pick me up and move me somewhere else. >I miss my hill >I'm just a rock guys. I'm not racist.

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Anon's tracking investment pays off | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39) 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this ...
5m (9/20 9:39) 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this ...

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Anon introduces himself to his new girlfriend's mom. | /r/Greentext

>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends 87 KB PNG >She proposes to go on a walk >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget
>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends 87 KB PNG >She proposes to go on a walk >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget

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Anon likes fancy food | /r/Greentext


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Anon can't escape his past | /r/Greentext


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