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Anon is a very special child | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Autistic Moments 03/24/21 (Wed)15:43:04 No.62897044 279 KB PNG Can we have a nice old fashioned thread of weird/cringeworthy s--- you did when you were younger? >be me, 15 >in school, it's lunchtime, crowds of people about >I'd played assassins creed the night before and done that thing where you hold a button to quickly move through crowds >walk into a group of guys in my year >do the animation of pushing through >put my hand on one of their backs and push gently >immediately he turns around >"what's this guys problem?" >everyone laughs >quietly walk away with a stern look on my face, just like an assassin
: Anonymous Autistic Moments 03/24/21 (Wed)15:43:04 No.62897044 279 KB PNG Can we have a nice old fashioned thread of weird/cringeworthy s--- you did when you were younger? >be me, 15 >in school, it's lunchtime, crowds of people about >I'd played assassins creed the night before and done that thing where you hold a button to quickly move through crowds >walk into a group of guys in my year >do the animation of pushing through >put my hand on one of their backs and push gently >immediately he turns around >"what's this guys problem?" >everyone laughs >quietly walk away with a stern look on my face, just like an assassin

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Anon gets caught by his teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 188 KB JPG 12/03/21(Fri)17:10:37 No.867916346 Parents ignored school shooter's depression >teacher caught him searching gun ammunition in school and contacted his parents >mom later sent him a text with "lol" and told him not to get caught next time >few days later teacher catches him drawing pictures of a gun and bullet with "my life is s---" and "kill classmates" quotes >contacted his parents again >they downplayed it and wanted him to go back to class >later on that day his dad sent him a text "please don't do it" after discovering his gun was missing 51 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 188 KB JPG 12/03/21(Fri)17:10:37 No.867916346 Parents ignored school shooter's depression >teacher caught him searching gun ammunition in school and contacted his parents >mom later sent him a text with "lol" and told him not to get caught next time >few days later teacher catches him drawing pictures of a gun and bullet with "my life is s---" and "kill classmates" quotes >contacted his parents again >they downplayed it and wanted him to go back to class >later on that day his dad sent him a text "please don't do it" after discovering his gun was missing 51 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anon is forever young | /r/Greentext

Not tunny Seen 4h (10/12 16:40) - 70558683 6 Re - 0 Img JPG 26KB (240 × 427) X : >talking on the phone with my sister on my birthday >hear her boyfriend say "what is he like 14?" >i was 18 >cry about it the entire day >get over it half a year later >never use voice chat in games or talk to anyone on the internet because of it >finally meet a potential friend with the same interests as me >he asks to vc >i agree to do it the next day to not seem insecure >plan to call as soon as I wake up, chug a full bottle of cold water, and do some sort of humming exercise that stretches vocal cords to make voice as deep as possible >join call >it goes ok for the first minute >he says "who's that kid in the background" after a short pause in our conversation >ask what he's talking about >"the kid that just said 'wait look at this" >it was me >make an excuse and leave the call why has god cursed me with the voice of a prepubescent child. i genuinely wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. i hate my voice. i hate talking to people. i honestly wouldn't even be surprised if i time traveled a few years into the future and found out that i began pretending to be mute in real life to avoid talking.
Not tunny Seen 4h (10/12 16:40) - 70558683 6 Re - 0 Img JPG 26KB (240 × 427) X : >talking on the phone with my sister on my birthday >hear her boyfriend say "what is he like 14?" >i was 18 >cry about it the entire day >get over it half a year later >never use voice chat in games or talk to anyone on the internet because of it >finally meet a potential friend with the same interests as me >he asks to vc >i agree to do it the next day to not seem insecure >plan to call as soon as I wake up, chug a full bottle of cold water, and do some sort of humming exercise that stretches vocal cords to make voice as deep as possible >join call >it goes ok for the first minute >he says "who's that kid in the background" after a short pause in our conversation >ask what he's talking about >"the kid that just said 'wait look at this" >it was me >make an excuse and leave the call why has god cursed me with the voice of a prepubescent child. i genuinely wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. i hate my voice. i hate talking to people. i honestly wouldn't even be surprised if i time traveled a few years into the future and found out that i began pretending to be mute in real life to avoid talking.

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Philosophicalpilled and based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: LIRI7Taz) 01/04/16(Mon)03:15:22 No.59990782 >be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence 115 KB JPG >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later >teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living
: Anonymous (ID: LIRI7Taz) 01/04/16(Mon)03:15:22 No.59990782 >be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence 115 KB JPG >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later >teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living

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Anon Remembers Childhood Trauma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Childhood pain stories 10/12/22(Wed)10:58:30 No.70559767 >Be me >Elementary school >There's a school shop on the first floor which sell legendary tomato chips >A bag costs about a 1 dollar >Everyone in my class buys them every single day >Always wanted to try them but >My family is way too poor to give me food to school and I'm way too humble to even ask for money 134 KB PNG >I'm worse than my peers >one day, I recieve $5 to pay for some school stuff. I'm allowed to keep the change >After all these years of dreaming, I finally get to buy the chips >I open the bag during recess >The ring bells >Can't eat during a lesson, so I hide the bag under my table >lesson ends >the bag isn't there
: Anonymous Childhood pain stories 10/12/22(Wed)10:58:30 No.70559767 >Be me >Elementary school >There's a school shop on the first floor which sell legendary tomato chips >A bag costs about a 1 dollar >Everyone in my class buys them every single day >Always wanted to try them but >My family is way too poor to give me food to school and I'm way too humble to even ask for money 134 KB PNG >I'm worse than my peers >one day, I recieve $5 to pay for some school stuff. I'm allowed to keep the change >After all these years of dreaming, I finally get to buy the chips >I open the bag during recess >The ring bells >Can't eat during a lesson, so I hide the bag under my table >lesson ends >the bag isn't there

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Poor grandma is traumatized | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 193 KB PNG 10/12/22(Wed) 20:47:17 No.887195041 >be me, coomer >do it in a t-shirt, 3-5 times a day >maybe 40-50 cooms per shirt, until it turns crusty >toss shirts behind the couch, forget about them >grandma comes over to help my mom clean the house for some event >hey anon, I found these shirts behind the couch, I don't know what those are, I didn't touch them She knows, doesn't she?
: Anonymous 193 KB PNG 10/12/22(Wed) 20:47:17 No.887195041 >be me, coomer >do it in a t-shirt, 3-5 times a day >maybe 40-50 cooms per shirt, until it turns crusty >toss shirts behind the couch, forget about them >grandma comes over to help my mom clean the house for some event >hey anon, I found these shirts behind the couch, I don't know what those are, I didn't touch them She knows, doesn't she?

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Anon visits Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous EDIT: THANKS FOR THE GOLD KIND STRANGER 71 KB JPG 09/11/19(Wed)21:10:40 No.809342185 Go on reddit >call someone a f----- >"I went through your post history you racist, xenophobic, misogynistic..." >every circlejerking liberal piles on downvotes >some long winded faggy pseudo-intellectual retort they spent an hour researching on wikipedia >2 dozen circlejerk, karmawhoring replies showing their support of said faggotry >gets crossposted on r/hesaidsomethingmean >"We need to find out where he works and get him fired!" >You've been banned from r/pizza Go on 4chan >call someone a f----- >"kill yourself" I f------ love you guys
: Anonymous EDIT: THANKS FOR THE GOLD KIND STRANGER 71 KB JPG 09/11/19(Wed)21:10:40 No.809342185 Go on reddit >call someone a f----- >"I went through your post history you racist, xenophobic, misogynistic..." >every circlejerking liberal piles on downvotes >some long winded faggy pseudo-intellectual retort they spent an hour researching on wikipedia >2 dozen circlejerk, karmawhoring replies showing their support of said faggotry >gets crossposted on r/hesaidsomethingmean >"We need to find out where he works and get him fired!" >You've been banned from r/pizza Go on 4chan >call someone a f----- >"kill yourself" I f------ love you guys

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Anon is horny | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.81 MB GIF 2 Replies Anonymous Is it a feminine d---? Anonymous >>70546778 no it's big 10/11/22(Tue)10:29:31 No.70546626 my d--- is a horn because i am horny so so horny View Thread 10/11/22(Tue) 10:42:14 No.70546778 10/11/22(Tue)10:47:43 No.70546849
Anonymous 1.81 MB GIF 2 Replies Anonymous Is it a feminine d---? Anonymous >>70546778 no it's big 10/11/22(Tue)10:29:31 No.70546626 my d--- is a horn because i am horny so so horny View Thread 10/11/22(Tue) 10:42:14 No.70546778 10/11/22(Tue)10:47:43 No.70546849

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Anon stunted his social skill | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Not talking to people at all 252 KB JPG 10/07/22(Fri)20:29:56 No.27455197 Context: >I don't talk to anybody unless I absolutely have to >I talk to my family semi-regularly but I am not sure if this counts >I have no friends who I interact with psychally >No gf >Stunted social skills >Scuicidal ideation (who doesn't, am I right?) How damaging is thing to me as a person? Is there any medication I can take to compensate for this mutation?
Anonymous Not talking to people at all 252 KB JPG 10/07/22(Fri)20:29:56 No.27455197 Context: >I don't talk to anybody unless I absolutely have to >I talk to my family semi-regularly but I am not sure if this counts >I have no friends who I interact with psychally >No gf >Stunted social skills >Scuicidal ideation (who doesn't, am I right?) How damaging is thing to me as a person? Is there any medication I can take to compensate for this mutation?

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Anon disagrees with his wife | /r/Greentext

>be me >playing black flag on ps5 >really like black flag >wife comes in >starts watching tik tok after tik tok >hour goes by >she looks at tv >Im in an epic ship battle >anon you should do something more productive with your time >leaves room Are you kidding me? Im doing something I like while you watch people suck their own d---- for likes
>be me >playing black flag on ps5 >really like black flag >wife comes in >starts watching tik tok after tik tok >hour goes by >she looks at tv >Im in an epic ship battle >anon you should do something more productive with your time >leaves room Are you kidding me? Im doing something I like while you watch people suck their own d---- for likes

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c'mon David coom in the choomba. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >DAVID PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NAIL MY LITTLE SISTER. I'M BEGGING YOU! >SHE'S STARTING TO COLLECT RANDOM CATS SHE FINDS ON THE STREETS AND KEEPING THEM HIDDEN FROM NCPD. >SHE'S ALREADY NAMED ONE DAVID MEOWTINEZ >PLEASE JUST F--- HER AND C------- HER, AND MAKE ME AN UNCLE BEFORE I DIE. >OH F--- SHE'S COMING I GOTTA GO DAVID! 208 KB PNG 10/05/22(Wed) 23:39:51 No.243456248 >>243456331 # >>243456369 # >>243457429 # Anonymous 224 KB PNG 10/05/22(Wed)23:42:34 No.243456331 >>243456248 # >>SHE'S ALREADY NAMED ONE DAVID MEOWTINEZ mega kek I love that Chrisposting has migrated and become its own thing with Pilar.
: Anonymous >DAVID PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NAIL MY LITTLE SISTER. I'M BEGGING YOU! >SHE'S STARTING TO COLLECT RANDOM CATS SHE FINDS ON THE STREETS AND KEEPING THEM HIDDEN FROM NCPD. >SHE'S ALREADY NAMED ONE DAVID MEOWTINEZ >PLEASE JUST F--- HER AND C------- HER, AND MAKE ME AN UNCLE BEFORE I DIE. >OH F--- SHE'S COMING I GOTTA GO DAVID! 208 KB PNG 10/05/22(Wed) 23:39:51 No.243456248 >>243456331 # >>243456369 # >>243457429 # Anonymous 224 KB PNG 10/05/22(Wed)23:42:34 No.243456331 >>243456248 # >>SHE'S ALREADY NAMED ONE DAVID MEOWTINEZ mega kek I love that Chrisposting has migrated and become its own thing with Pilar.

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Anon describes the Overwatch experience | /r/Greentext

1 Anonymous R THE MOST REWARD VERWATC #614670551 XPERIENCE EVE 10/10 14:19:23 PNG 1269×686 230 KB Overwatch 2 >our game is failing what do we do?? >stop making new maps and heroes and content for seasonal events and addressing player concerns for 3 years >announce a "new game" but then go silent about it for 2 years >delay the story mode by a year and turn it into drip fed horde mode PvE missions in PvP maps (1 every 9 weeks) >lose the game designer and hero gameplay designer and key artists >the amount of new maps and heroes is half of what OW1 would've gotten if not abandoned >replace iconic default skins with overdesigned ones >make the game F2P to lower player pool quality >require a phone number to play the game >record voice chat and transcribe it >lock beta behind $40 >tell OW1 owners to kick rocks >remove a game mode and 8 maps instead of fixing them >remove various social features like cards and time to chat post-match >change the balance forever with 5v5 to make it esports friendly >lock OP new characters behind 60 hours of grinding the battle pass when they were free for everyone >remove the fair lootbox and credit system that let everyone get everything >make old currency useless for new items >increase the coin and token prices of everything by 2x with fake discounts and manipulative exchange rates >introduce a FOMO battle pass that will cost $60 every year and a paid shop >introduce a ton of low quality filler items to pad the pass and bundles >free battle pass only has terrible filler items (the only items you can get without premium coins) >paid battle pass has maybe 3 good items per season and doesn't pay for itself and the rest is reused filler >battle pass is a slog of a grind and takes hours of doing challenges daily to complete >only earn $2 worth of premium coins per month of daily grinding ($20 skins = 10 months of grinding to buy one) All the effort went into the new far worse predatory monetization, there is no new gameplay or content to warrant a "2", how are they this brazen? And the nerve to call it "the most rewarding OW experience ever".
1 Anonymous R THE MOST REWARD VERWATC #614670551 XPERIENCE EVE 10/10 14:19:23 PNG 1269×686 230 KB Overwatch 2 >our game is failing what do we do?? >stop making new maps and heroes and content for seasonal events and addressing player concerns for 3 years >announce a "new game" but then go silent about it for 2 years >delay the story mode by a year and turn it into drip fed horde mode PvE missions in PvP maps (1 every 9 weeks) >lose the game designer and hero gameplay designer and key artists >the amount of new maps and heroes is half of what OW1 would've gotten if not abandoned >replace iconic default skins with overdesigned ones >make the game F2P to lower player pool quality >require a phone number to play the game >record voice chat and transcribe it >lock beta behind $40 >tell OW1 owners to kick rocks >remove a game mode and 8 maps instead of fixing them >remove various social features like cards and time to chat post-match >change the balance forever with 5v5 to make it esports friendly >lock OP new characters behind 60 hours of grinding the battle pass when they were free for everyone >remove the fair lootbox and credit system that let everyone get everything >make old currency useless for new items >increase the coin and token prices of everything by 2x with fake discounts and manipulative exchange rates >introduce a FOMO battle pass that will cost $60 every year and a paid shop >introduce a ton of low quality filler items to pad the pass and bundles >free battle pass only has terrible filler items (the only items you can get without premium coins) >paid battle pass has maybe 3 good items per season and doesn't pay for itself and the rest is reused filler >battle pass is a slog of a grind and takes hours of doing challenges daily to complete >only earn $2 worth of premium coins per month of daily grinding ($20 skins = 10 months of grinding to buy one) All the effort went into the new far worse predatory monetization, there is no new gameplay or content to warrant a "2", how are they this brazen? And the nerve to call it "the most rewarding OW experience ever".

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 118 KB JPG 06/09/22(Thu)11:58:26 No.68977522 >scrolling through fap material >find photo of a particularly average goth girl >not ugly, just overall plain, no curves, small t--- >just a painfully normal girl like you'd find at the supermarket >this sparks my curiosity >reverse search the pic >find her reddit account >hundreds of posts >she tried to pander to a million communities and fetishes >goth, cosplay of dozen of characters, weed, feet, monstergirls, giantess, everything under the sun, you name it >despite this, almost none of her pics can get past 10 upvotes >no one ever leaves a comment, even the most simp-filled communities totally ignore her >sometimes she comments herself, always 0 replies >find her twitter >endless posts, almost no interactions >find out she has an onlyfans >she's selling a pack with hundreds of photos for a mere 3$ This made me inexplicably sad. This random girl tried everything to w---- herself out but literally nobody in the planet gives a f---. Something in her life led her to sell her dignity for possible fame (or at least a bit of money), and she got absolutely nothing in return.
: Anonymous 118 KB JPG 06/09/22(Thu)11:58:26 No.68977522 >scrolling through fap material >find photo of a particularly average goth girl >not ugly, just overall plain, no curves, small t--- >just a painfully normal girl like you'd find at the supermarket >this sparks my curiosity >reverse search the pic >find her reddit account >hundreds of posts >she tried to pander to a million communities and fetishes >goth, cosplay of dozen of characters, weed, feet, monstergirls, giantess, everything under the sun, you name it >despite this, almost none of her pics can get past 10 upvotes >no one ever leaves a comment, even the most simp-filled communities totally ignore her >sometimes she comments herself, always 0 replies >find her twitter >endless posts, almost no interactions >find out she has an onlyfans >she's selling a pack with hundreds of photos for a mere 3$ This made me inexplicably sad. This random girl tried everything to w---- herself out but literally nobody in the planet gives a f---. Something in her life led her to sell her dignity for possible fame (or at least a bit of money), and she got absolutely nothing in return.

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anon is xeroxpilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 222 KB JPG 2 Replies 10/11/22(Tue)13:25:50 No.70548290 >tfw no copy and pasted bf View Thread 10/11/22(Tue)13:26:26 No.70548299 : Anonymous >>70548290 (OP) # what even is that and why would you want such a thing : Anonymous >tfw no cursed photocopier printout gf 10/11/22(Tue)13:27:10 No.70548310
: Anonymous 222 KB JPG 2 Replies 10/11/22(Tue)13:25:50 No.70548290 >tfw no copy and pasted bf View Thread 10/11/22(Tue)13:26:26 No.70548299 : Anonymous >>70548290 (OP) # what even is that and why would you want such a thing : Anonymous >tfw no cursed photocopier printout gf 10/11/22(Tue)13:27:10 No.70548310

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anon has dating advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/22(Tue)22:05:37 No.887141717 DEAR LORD, PLEASE GIVE ME A SEXIST INCEL BF WITH A RACIST TWITTER ACCOUNT Screenshot_2022-09-24-07-26-11- 96 50ef9f5a0f3fc24b6f0ffc8843167fe4.jpg 453 KB JPG >>887141410 # If you're so heinous no one will date you my advice is to meet a chick online (because she doesn't have to look at you all the time) and hope you either have an amazing personality or you're her type. When you meet in person she'll be too far in to say no
: Anonymous 10/11/22(Tue)22:05:37 No.887141717 DEAR LORD, PLEASE GIVE ME A SEXIST INCEL BF WITH A RACIST TWITTER ACCOUNT Screenshot_2022-09-24-07-26-11- 96 50ef9f5a0f3fc24b6f0ffc8843167fe4.jpg 453 KB JPG >>887141410 # If you're so heinous no one will date you my advice is to meet a chick online (because she doesn't have to look at you all the time) and hope you either have an amazing personality or you're her type. When you meet in person she'll be too far in to say no

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/22(Wed)11:12:14 No.887174759 retardpepe.jpg 11 KB JPG >mom found my c-- bottles >won't talk to me Bros...
: Anonymous 10/12/22(Wed)11:12:14 No.887174759 retardpepe.jpg 11 KB JPG >mom found my c-- bottles >won't talk to me Bros...

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