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Femanon accidentally destroys man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 159 KB JPG 09/29/21(Wed)01:09:45 No.65565901 >meet cute robot >go over to his house >kiss, start undressing each other >he's nervous, I think he's a virgin >go slowly and be gentle >we go upstairs, he starts fingering me >he's good >I take his underwear off >the very first thing I notice is that his pubes are shaved into a perfect little rectangle, exactly like Hitler's moustache >I try to hide my laughter by sucking him, but I don't think it worked >as he gets ready to f--- me, I can't help but crack up because the way his boner is pointing slightly upwards makes me imagine it doing the nazi salute and saying "Heil Dickler" >laughing too hard and too embarrassed to explain what's funny, I start to get dressed to leave >block him out of shame >he probably thought I was laughing because his d--- was small I'm sorry Mark
Anonymous 159 KB JPG 09/29/21(Wed)01:09:45 No.65565901 >meet cute robot >go over to his house >kiss, start undressing each other >he's nervous, I think he's a virgin >go slowly and be gentle >we go upstairs, he starts fingering me >he's good >I take his underwear off >the very first thing I notice is that his pubes are shaved into a perfect little rectangle, exactly like Hitler's moustache >I try to hide my laughter by sucking him, but I don't think it worked >as he gets ready to f--- me, I can't help but crack up because the way his boner is pointing slightly upwards makes me imagine it doing the nazi salute and saying "Heil Dickler" >laughing too hard and too embarrassed to explain what's funny, I start to get dressed to leave >block him out of shame >he probably thought I was laughing because his d--- was small I'm sorry Mark

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One of the best advice! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 07/06/21(Tue)18:58:16 No.858512914 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt >notice roommate doesn't have his seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car and I want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.
Anonymous 8 KB JPG 07/06/21(Tue)18:58:16 No.858512914 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt >notice roommate doesn't have his seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car and I want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.

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Anon joins the Klan | /r/Greentext

File: 1734408589511921.png (34 KB, 573x670) ? ☐ Joined the KKK Anonymous (ID: Ybqstjeg) 12/17/24(Tue)05:22:27 No.491617594 ►>>491617668 >>491617963 >>491617981 >>491618322 >>491618391 >>491618- >>491618431 >>491618472 >>491618748 >>491618913 >Joined the KKK last August >Became the official recorder, my only special duty is that I have to record the monthly meeting minutes >Thought I was gonna have fun burning crosses and doing Klan dances and harrassing blacks >Klavern doesn't do that anymore >My Klavem is basically 100% a charity organization/fraternity >All we do is work charity jobs or shoot the s--- and eat BBQ and watch movies >Never even wore the robes myself >Last month we all got together to clean up the local park >Last week we distributed shoes to children in need >Literally it's just a charity organization for white people >Everyone in town knows we're the KKK but they don't say it out loud >They actually like us I gotta admit I'm having alot of fun and feel good about myself but this is not what I was expecting. I don't know what I was expecting but gotta admit I like it.
File: 1734408589511921.png (34 KB, 573x670) ? ☐ Joined the KKK Anonymous (ID: Ybqstjeg) 12/17/24(Tue)05:22:27 No.491617594 ►>>491617668 >>491617963 >>491617981 >>491618322 >>491618391 >>491618- >>491618431 >>491618472 >>491618748 >>491618913 >Joined the KKK last August >Became the official recorder, my only special duty is that I have to record the monthly meeting minutes >Thought I was gonna have fun burning crosses and doing Klan dances and harrassing blacks >Klavern doesn't do that anymore >My Klavem is basically 100% a charity organization/fraternity >All we do is work charity jobs or shoot the s--- and eat BBQ and watch movies >Never even wore the robes myself >Last month we all got together to clean up the local park >Last week we distributed shoes to children in need >Literally it's just a charity organization for white people >Everyone in town knows we're the KKK but they don't say it out loud >They actually like us I gotta admit I'm having alot of fun and feel good about myself but this is not what I was expecting. I don't know what I was expecting but gotta admit I like it.

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Absolutely Treif | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: Bx06Jhvz ) ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/16/24(Mon)19:42:29 No.491602886 Peter R. Quiñc @PeterRQuin⚫ Dec 15 Hypothetical: One country must no longer exist. A: United States B: Israel Choose ○ 8 13 556 7K Rep. Don Bacon Read Revelations and report back. @RepDor 23h - 112 48 10 ılı 73K 88 KB JPG Donald John Bacon (R) is an American politician and retired military officer serving as the U.S. representative for Nebraska. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Bacon https://x.com/RepDonBacon/status/1868334120272585209 Anonymous (ID: TgJCydqZ >Name is Bacon >Loves jews You can only have one. 12/16/24(Mon)19:45:23 No.491603092
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: Bx06Jhvz ) ▼Settings Mobile Home 12/16/24(Mon)19:42:29 No.491602886 Peter R. Quiñc @PeterRQuin⚫ Dec 15 Hypothetical: One country must no longer exist. A: United States B: Israel Choose ○ 8 13 556 7K Rep. Don Bacon Read Revelations and report back. @RepDor 23h - 112 48 10 ılı 73K 88 KB JPG Donald John Bacon (R) is an American politician and retired military officer serving as the U.S. representative for Nebraska. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Bacon https://x.com/RepDonBacon/status/1868334120272585209 Anonymous (ID: TgJCydqZ >Name is Bacon >Loves jews You can only have one. 12/16/24(Mon)19:45:23 No.491603092

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Anon sexually harrases | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 93 KB JPG >be me 12/16/24(Mon)17:31:42 No.928727717 >Bjorking my pork >Come across c-- tributes when looking for s--- >Take picture of c-- tribute, c-- on it and send it to the accounts >1 guy tells me to f--- off and another tells me he's going to kill me >Oh so now it's weird
Anonymous 93 KB JPG >be me 12/16/24(Mon)17:31:42 No.928727717 >Bjorking my pork >Come across c-- tributes when looking for s--- >Take picture of c-- tribute, c-- on it and send it to the accounts >1 guy tells me to f--- off and another tells me he's going to kill me >Oh so now it's weird

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Brazilian anon revel the secret pleasure of brazilian society | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: /4wKPf9r B 12/16/24(Mon)17:16:28 No.491583090 >all the first ladies in Brazil practice p------ on their husbands >every decent Brazilian enjoys p------ Why Brazil is like this? 37 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: Xzy1blrq >>491583090 (OP) # 12/16/24(Mon)17:18:43 No.491583282 Only favelados and negões do it Anonymous (ID: 5EfKMCjW) You're a f------ retarded. 12/16/24(Mon)17:18:52 No.491583290
Anonymous (ID: /4wKPf9r B 12/16/24(Mon)17:16:28 No.491583090 >all the first ladies in Brazil practice p------ on their husbands >every decent Brazilian enjoys p------ Why Brazil is like this? 37 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: Xzy1blrq >>491583090 (OP) # 12/16/24(Mon)17:18:43 No.491583282 Only favelados and negões do it Anonymous (ID: 5EfKMCjW) You're a f------ retarded. 12/16/24(Mon)17:18:52 No.491583290

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Anon the future president | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 100 KB JPG >middle of test 06/17/15(Wed)13:45:14 No.622330744 Retarded stories thread >be me >be in first grade >taking test >teacher tells us if we can't do a problem, put a smile face >look up at teacher >smile as hard as I can >hold smile for a solid 2 mins >mfw placed into special Ed next week
Anonymous 100 KB JPG >middle of test 06/17/15(Wed)13:45:14 No.622330744 Retarded stories thread >be me >be in first grade >taking test >teacher tells us if we can't do a problem, put a smile face >look up at teacher >smile as hard as I can >hold smile for a solid 2 mins >mfw placed into special Ed next week

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Anon is victorious | /r/Greentext

Thinkpad Gigachad Anonymous 12/16/24(Mon) 15:57:00 No. 10353707 >>103538332 >be me >buy a thinkpad >have a basedboy friend >he has an m1 macbook >spent twice as much on it >"BBUT MUH MACBOOK IS MUCH FASTER!!!!!!" >uses that performance only for generating furry p--- using local image gen >download more than 40 gb of files >plug in more than 1 accessory while charging >install a non app store program >victory Anonymous 12/16/24(Mon) 16:00:29 No.103537093 >>103538562 >LOOK HOW I LE HECKIN EPICKLY OWNED MY 50YBOY FRIENDO /g/UYZ!!!! LE BASED THINKPAD AMIRITE???? lol what a sperglord, even that macfag is better than you OP
Thinkpad Gigachad Anonymous 12/16/24(Mon) 15:57:00 No. 10353707 >>103538332 >be me >buy a thinkpad >have a basedboy friend >he has an m1 macbook >spent twice as much on it >"BBUT MUH MACBOOK IS MUCH FASTER!!!!!!" >uses that performance only for generating furry p--- using local image gen >download more than 40 gb of files >plug in more than 1 accessory while charging >install a non app store program >victory Anonymous 12/16/24(Mon) 16:00:29 No.103537093 >>103538562 >LOOK HOW I LE HECKIN EPICKLY OWNED MY 50YBOY FRIENDO /g/UYZ!!!! LE BASED THINKPAD AMIRITE???? lol what a sperglord, even that macfag is better than you OP

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Anon is helping | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB JPG >be me 12/16/24(Mon)11:10:21 No.928714317 >MD with access to Dr who's TARDIS >Diagnose woman with female hysteria for her wandering womb, diagnose her with neurosyphilis, stab her in the eye with ice pic, intentionally give her seizures, infect her with malaria and call her mentally ill for running away as a slave where she was being r---- >Tell her thalidomide is perfectly safe for her pregnancy, baby is born with severe birth defect >Diagnose her with sluggish schizophrenia >That will be 3.8 million dollars >TARDIS takes me to Canada >Nvm just kill yourself >Get two Nobel prizes
: Anonymous 30 KB JPG >be me 12/16/24(Mon)11:10:21 No.928714317 >MD with access to Dr who's TARDIS >Diagnose woman with female hysteria for her wandering womb, diagnose her with neurosyphilis, stab her in the eye with ice pic, intentionally give her seizures, infect her with malaria and call her mentally ill for running away as a slave where she was being r---- >Tell her thalidomide is perfectly safe for her pregnancy, baby is born with severe birth defect >Diagnose her with sluggish schizophrenia >That will be 3.8 million dollars >TARDIS takes me to Canada >Nvm just kill yourself >Get two Nobel prizes

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You won't last 5 minutes playing this game (Skyrim) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/16/24(Mon) 19:08:40 No.41739806 full (13).jpg 207 KB JPG >Howdy, partner. You're finally awake. >You were tryin' to cross the border, I reckon? >Trotted right into that Royal ambush, same as us, an' that cattle rustler over there. : Anonymous >r--- 12/16/24(Mon) 19:10:48 No.41739809
Anonymous 12/16/24(Mon) 19:08:40 No.41739806 full (13).jpg 207 KB JPG >Howdy, partner. You're finally awake. >You were tryin' to cross the border, I reckon? >Trotted right into that Royal ambush, same as us, an' that cattle rustler over there. : Anonymous >r--- 12/16/24(Mon) 19:10:48 No.41739809

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Patience is a virtue | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/04/24(Wed)05:33:09 No.206657124 ZSX30R5LOJEF3DCQW3NFEZOXXA.jpg 21 KB JPG >finally I found my 45 year old dream girl to start a family with! I can't wait to have children
Anonymous 12/04/24(Wed)05:33:09 No.206657124 ZSX30R5LOJEF3DCQW3NFEZOXXA.jpg 21 KB JPG >finally I found my 45 year old dream girl to start a family with! I can't wait to have children

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Bruh, Bruh Bruh? | /r/Greentext

File: aladdin-920x584.png (595 KB, 920x584) Bruh: "Bruh bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:06 No.799 Genie: "What are your 3 wishes?" Me: "Make every word 4 letters long." Geni: "Wish gran." Meee: "Make ever word star with 'br." Brni: "Brsh bran." Bree: "Brke brer brrd brar brdd brth 'uh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh."
File: aladdin-920x584.png (595 KB, 920x584) Bruh: "Bruh bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:06 No.799 Genie: "What are your 3 wishes?" Me: "Make every word 4 letters long." Geni: "Wish gran." Meee: "Make ever word star with 'br." Brni: "Brsh bran." Bree: "Brke brer brrd brar brdd brth 'uh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh."

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Anon has children | /r/Greentext

File: imagmes.jpg (6 KB, 197x256) Guys I need family advice Anonymous 12/16/24(Mon)17:21:23 No.79771702 ► >be me >have a kid >wanted to name him Marcus, but wife didnt like it >we went with her suggestion instead >whatever.jpg >work a lot, dont really get to spend much time with him >years pass, hes now 16 >chilling at home one evening, drinking beer with a buddy >kid walks in and asks if he can go to the movies with his friend >Sure, buddy. >he says Thanks Dad and leaves >friend looks at me and says, Man, your sons grown up. >Yeah, he really is, I nod like a proud dad >then he asks, Whats his name, by the way? uhhhhh.png >no idea >laugh it off like hes joking and keep drinking >next morning, hungover >son hands me a school form to fill in go through it, pretty straightforward... until I hit Student Name suddenly_sweating.gif >staring at the blank spot like its a bomb defusal >son asks if Im feeling okay panic.exe >tell him Im feeling sick and need to lie down >pass him the form and say, You can just fill in the rest, champ. >crisis averted >later that evening >realize I still dont know his name and decide to ask my wife subtly >Hey. >Hey? she replies >So... uh, you know, our kid? I start carefully >Which one? she laughs brain_crash.jpg >forgot we have more than one >I wasnt prepare for multiple choice questions when I came into the bedroom >start sweating again >play it cool, mumble something about needing water, and head downstairs >son is there ohno.mp4 >he says hi >Hey, chap! I reply enthusiastically, dodging like the Counter strike 1.6 veteran I am >he pauses and asks why I always call him buddy instead of his name >uhm >mutter something about needing the bathroom and bolt upstairs >lock myself in the toilet all night >next morning, go straight to work without saying a word guys, help how do I casually find out my sons name without him or my wife realizing I forgot?
File: imagmes.jpg (6 KB, 197x256) Guys I need family advice Anonymous 12/16/24(Mon)17:21:23 No.79771702 ► >be me >have a kid >wanted to name him Marcus, but wife didnt like it >we went with her suggestion instead >whatever.jpg >work a lot, dont really get to spend much time with him >years pass, hes now 16 >chilling at home one evening, drinking beer with a buddy >kid walks in and asks if he can go to the movies with his friend >Sure, buddy. >he says Thanks Dad and leaves >friend looks at me and says, Man, your sons grown up. >Yeah, he really is, I nod like a proud dad >then he asks, Whats his name, by the way? uhhhhh.png >no idea >laugh it off like hes joking and keep drinking >next morning, hungover >son hands me a school form to fill in go through it, pretty straightforward... until I hit Student Name suddenly_sweating.gif >staring at the blank spot like its a bomb defusal >son asks if Im feeling okay panic.exe >tell him Im feeling sick and need to lie down >pass him the form and say, You can just fill in the rest, champ. >crisis averted >later that evening >realize I still dont know his name and decide to ask my wife subtly >Hey. >Hey? she replies >So... uh, you know, our kid? I start carefully >Which one? she laughs brain_crash.jpg >forgot we have more than one >I wasnt prepare for multiple choice questions when I came into the bedroom >start sweating again >play it cool, mumble something about needing water, and head downstairs >son is there ohno.mp4 >he says hi >Hey, chap! I reply enthusiastically, dodging like the Counter strike 1.6 veteran I am >he pauses and asks why I always call him buddy instead of his name >uhm >mutter something about needing the bathroom and bolt upstairs >lock myself in the toilet all night >next morning, go straight to work without saying a word guys, help how do I casually find out my sons name without him or my wife realizing I forgot?

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Know Your Rights | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 6GOWbJKI ) 12/16/24(Mon)08:48:59 No.491556475 780 KB PNG >See emerging far right political party >Look inside manifesto >Center right politics
Anonymous (ID: 6GOWbJKI ) 12/16/24(Mon)08:48:59 No.491556475 780 KB PNG >See emerging far right political party >Look inside manifesto >Center right politics

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Anon aspires to become an author | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)00:06:50 No.22823139 >want to make a journal >buy journal >open journal >stare at it for 10 minutes before giving up 40 KB JPG what the f--- are you supposed to write? how your day went? thats something a girl in middle school does
Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)00:06:50 No.22823139 >want to make a journal >buy journal >open journal >stare at it for 10 minutes before giving up 40 KB JPG what the f--- are you supposed to write? how your day went? thats something a girl in middle school does

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Because MFs think they can fix psychos | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Anchovy Pizza 12/16/24(Mon)16:26:30 No.79769671 @Anchovy_Pizza - 9h H-hello you can s-sit wherever haha Sorry y-you had to wait, I n-needed to clean up a bit haha 50 17180 3.2K ill 33K image_2024-12-16_032608554.png 755 KB PNG >men love loser women but women hate loser men how come it's so easy to be a woman? You literally just can't lose. 2 Replies 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous Anchovy Pizza 12/16/24(Mon)16:26:30 No.79769671 @Anchovy_Pizza - 9h H-hello you can s-sit wherever haha Sorry y-you had to wait, I n-needed to clean up a bit haha 50 17180 3.2K ill 33K image_2024-12-16_032608554.png 755 KB PNG >men love loser women but women hate loser men how come it's so easy to be a woman? You literally just can't lose. 2 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 200 KB PNG 10/08/21(Fri)14:28:43 No.864617163 >be 16yo troll >lost a lot of friendships because of my troll nature >2 years ago, Fortnite became really popular >get a troll idea >make a flyer with an invitation to a fortnite tournament with prize money >It is easy, just click on this link! >the link actually leads to b--------- p--- >i give the flyers to 12 year olds Pic related
Anonymous 200 KB PNG 10/08/21(Fri)14:28:43 No.864617163 >be 16yo troll >lost a lot of friendships because of my troll nature >2 years ago, Fortnite became really popular >get a troll idea >make a flyer with an invitation to a fortnite tournament with prize money >It is easy, just click on this link! >the link actually leads to b--------- p--- >i give the flyers to 12 year olds Pic related

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Miserable Anon! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous who's the biggest loser on /r9(...) CONSUMMATUR >21 01/25/23(Wed)09:01:17 No.71962299 676 KB PNG >still live with family >still stuck in same s--- town I've always lived in >zero friends, girlfriend ever >college dropout (couldn't choose what to major in) >slave tier job at a warehouse >only 7k saved >zero talents, qualifications, interests, skills, or idea what to do >ugly as f--- It's so f------ over. I've gone on tiktok and see people younger than me with 6 figure jobs and insane physiques. I've literally ruined my entire life and wasted my youth without ever getting to have one. I feel hopeless and suicidal. I bought a shotgun last year and I think about using it all the time.
Anonymous who's the biggest loser on /r9(...) CONSUMMATUR >21 01/25/23(Wed)09:01:17 No.71962299 676 KB PNG >still live with family >still stuck in same s--- town I've always lived in >zero friends, girlfriend ever >college dropout (couldn't choose what to major in) >slave tier job at a warehouse >only 7k saved >zero talents, qualifications, interests, skills, or idea what to do >ugly as f--- It's so f------ over. I've gone on tiktok and see people younger than me with 6 figure jobs and insane physiques. I've literally ruined my entire life and wasted my youth without ever getting to have one. I feel hopeless and suicidal. I bought a shotgun last year and I think about using it all the time.

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Anon loves girls addicted to heroine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/14/24(Sat)20:48:35 No.124797739 >tfw no Nico gf How do I get a gf who acts like Nico? 137 KB JPG Anonymous 12/14/24(Sat)20:51:04 No.124797776 Why do you want a girl who's a heroin addict? >>124800001 #
Anonymous 12/14/24(Sat)20:48:35 No.124797739 >tfw no Nico gf How do I get a gf who acts like Nico? 137 KB JPG Anonymous 12/14/24(Sat)20:51:04 No.124797776 Why do you want a girl who's a heroin addict? >>124800001 #

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Cognitive Dissonance Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 93 KB PNG student 11/16/23(Thu)09:15:42 No.75435963 >be me, first year engineering student >forced to take an Engineering Ethics class >drilled into us that a lot of what we learn can be used to cause harm and we need to be careful >be me, second year engineering >forced to take another Engineering Ethics course >drilled into us that we have an obligation to society to use our skills for betterment >be me, third year engineering student >learn that Lockheed Martin sponsors my school's engineering program >get offered a six figure job building missile targeting systems at LM >my counselors and professors push me to take the job it's so over for this race
Anonymous 93 KB PNG student 11/16/23(Thu)09:15:42 No.75435963 >be me, first year engineering student >forced to take an Engineering Ethics class >drilled into us that a lot of what we learn can be used to cause harm and we need to be careful >be me, second year engineering >forced to take another Engineering Ethics course >drilled into us that we have an obligation to society to use our skills for betterment >be me, third year engineering student >learn that Lockheed Martin sponsors my school's engineering program >get offered a six figure job building missile targeting systems at LM >my counselors and professors push me to take the job it's so over for this race

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