Kate Friedman Siegel

About

Kate Friedman Siegel, (also known as @CrazyJewishMom^[1]) is a New York Times bestseller author. She became successful when she began to publish through various social media sites, texts between herself and mother, Kim Friedman. Kate, now 27, studied English, creative writing, and theater at Princeton University. Her mother, Kim Friedman (also now as her CrazyJewishMom), is an Emmy-nominated director of prime time television. Impressive credits include Beverly Hills 90210, Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Sabrina the Teenage Witch and, Lizzie McGuire.

Online Presents

The earliest date of the first published screenshot conversation Kate posted was on Instagram^[2] (@CrazyjewishMom) in November 2014. Her Instagram account grew widely popular and it now has a following of 765,000. The conversations between the two have been featured on online publisher websites such as Buzzfeed, Cheezburger, and The Huffington Post.

Instagram History

In September 2018, Siegel shared screenshots of two anti-Semitic memes she had received via Instagram direct message, in which Instagram failed to take action on. Both "memes" were clearly meant to be seen as anti-Semitic. Instagram then deleted Siegel's post stating that the post violated community guidelines.

Work

In April of 2016, Siegel’s first book, “Mother, Can You Not?”^[4], a book about the chronicling life with her @CrazyJewishMom made the New York Times bestseller list.

Interview With Know Your Meme

Q: What motivated you to upload your private conversations between you and your mother?

A: I was at a bachelorette party a few years ago, and my mother was texting me something about my "rotting ovaries" as she is wont to do when my friends experience life milestones I have yet to experience (and in general). I read the message out loud to my girlfriends with an eye roll, and to my surprise, they found it hilarious and not nearly as annoying as I did! That was an aha moment for me. As I sipped my cocktail through a penis straw, I opened the 'mother' folder on my phone where I store screenshots of all the insane things my mom texts me, and I started to read aloud. Everyone around the penis cake covered table was hysterically laughing, so I thought why not share my mom with the world?

Q: How did you initially react to internet fame?

A: I threw up. I mean that literally. I think we had a unique experience with it because the account went viral so fast. One minute we had a few thousand followers, then Morgan Shanahan wrote a story about us for BuzzFeed, and in less than 24 hours @CrazyJewishMom^[2] had 300,000 followers. I was sitting at lunch with my mom when the story went live, and new followers were streaming in by the thousands, faster than I could refresh my feed. Apparently, my response to extreme stress/ enthusiasm is to projectile vomit sometimes. So, that's fun. After the BuzzFeed story, there was a media frenzy and all kinds of opportunities started pouring in, but I immediately knew I wanted to write a book about all of the insane adventures I got into with my #CrazyJewishMom^[1] over the years, so I wrote Mother, Can you Not?^[4]. And yes, my mother did solicit sperm during our appearance on The Today Show promoting my book, thank you for asking.

Q: Social Media has played a huge role in your success, especially Instagram. Recently an issue erupted when you posted a photo with your views and concerns about anti-semitic “memes” that were being used to harass you, and Instagram targeted you as the offensive one. How do you feel about Instagram now as a social media platform? What do you think of social media, in general, is becoming? What effects do you think social media will have on us in the future if it continues this way?

A: Yeah, the downside of being proudly and publicly Jewish is that it tends to attract a lot of Nazis! Could've sworn we decided Nazis were a bad idea a while ago, but judging by the number of swastikas, Hitler memes, and DMs telling me to "go find a gas chamber," it seems not everyone arrived at that conclusion. So now, I have a "hate speech" folder on my phone for screenshots of antisemitism in addition to the 'mother' folder for my mom's texts. I posted the photo you mentioned because I had reported (a meme with the text "Jewish stroller" overlaid on an image of a barbecue grill) that was sent to me via DM, and Instagram told me it didn't violate community guidelines. Because of the way Instagram handles report resolutions, I rarely if ever get to see the outcome of any given report I make – I just happened to refresh my feed at the moment this report resolution came through. Because of the lack of opportunity to follow up on the hundreds of hate speech and bullying reports I've made to Instagram, I had just been trusting that my reports were being taken seriously and handled appropriately. I felt compelled to share my experience in the wake of the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting, because of my disappointment with their decision on my hate speech report and also because of the fact that the shooter was active on social media, even in the moments before the attack. And yes, as you mentioned, when I posted the same image Instagram told me didn't violate their community guidelines when I reported it, they deleted my post and threatened to disable my account for posting content that violated their community guidelines. Clearly, something isn't working as it should here, and as society as a whole becomes increasingly dependent on social media for everything from business to news to everything in-between, it's more important than ever for it to be a safe place in my opinion. In terms of how I feel about the Instagram, I am incredibly grateful for and in awe of the opportunities I have been afforded as the result of being part of the Instagram community. I love the platform, and I can point to a thousand different ways social media is a force for good in the world. It seems social media is at a pivotal moment, and I think the hate speech problem is one of the major issues all these platforms face. The rhetoric online increasingly seems to be reflected in and important to our real-life interactions, so I hope these social media platforms are able to make the changes necessary to ensure the safety of their respective communities. Again, maybe I'm an idealist, but I do think these platforms and the connectivity they afford the world can be harnessed for good, but it's a work in progress and there are definitely some growing pains right now. Frankly, it's a little bit unsettling to talk about this and provide what I hope is constructive feedback, because my livelihood is completely wrapped up in Instagram, but I think it's important to figure this out both for the users, and also for these platforms themselves in the long run.

Q: Thanks to technology and photoshop, creating images that look like actual phone conversations is a trend and many have been accused of “making up” content to share with their followers. Have you been accused and what would you say if you were?

A: I would put them in a room with my mother for two minutes and let them confirm for themselves that she's crazy. Wonderful. But also very nuts. And yes at first I don't think people knew what to think of the conversations when it was just the texts, but now we have a podcast and do Ask Mom & Spawn^[2], our weekly live advice show (every Sunday at 5 pm ET! Come hang! I'll stop now.) where we get to interact with our followers directly and share the real people behind the texts. Anyway, I'm pretty sure the first time my mom suggested, "chop his balls off in the middle of Times Square and then set his house on fire" as a proportional response to cheating during one of our live-streaming advice sessions…well I'm confident people realized I really don't need to make anything up.

Q: Your conversations have been screenshotted and published everywhere on the internet. Sometimes without giving you the full credit. How do you feel about that?

A: I mean, it sucks. It's very frustrating to watch something you created to go viral without proper attribution, but it's part of the deal. After a Thanksgiving post about our dog, Thor humping the turkey went viral, I started watermarking, but again, it's part of the deal. I always try to attribute properly when sharing the work of others, and I will always adjust a credit if someone DMs me or emails me to let me know I got it wrong.

This interview was conducted via email by the Know Your Meme staff in December 2018.

External References