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owls on cocaine

i THEONION.COM Ornithologists Attribute Owls' Nocturnal Lifestyle To Hard Coc Habit 1.3K 91 Comments • 487 Shares Like Comment Share This is stupid just where do they think owls get coc? They're nocturnal because that's when they hunt.
i THEONION.COM Ornithologists Attribute Owls' Nocturnal Lifestyle To Hard Coc Habit 1.3K 91 Comments • 487 Shares Like Comment Share This is stupid just where do they think owls get coc? They're nocturnal because that's when they hunt.

The Onion
owls cocaine nocturnal /r/atetheonion

NFL

10:13 l LTE TTIC OTTOITV TTICOTOIT' 1Z/ Parents Sign Up Mitch Trubisky For Rec Soccer Team In Hopes He'll Develop Interest In Sports trib.al/5IHHD91 43 17550 O 2,975 Replying to @TheOnion He's already interested in sports idiets. He's a NFL player!!! 9:22 AM - 12/5/19 · Twitter for iPhone 5 Retweets and comments 12 Likes C 12/5/19 as and Replying to @TheOnion Someone help this man find a sense of humor Tweet your reply
10:13 l LTE TTIC OTTOITV TTICOTOIT' 1Z/ Parents Sign Up Mitch Trubisky For Rec Soccer Team In Hopes He'll Develop Interest In Sports trib.al/5IHHD91 43 17550 O 2,975 Replying to @TheOnion He's already interested in sports idiets. He's a NFL player!!! 9:22 AM - 12/5/19 · Twitter for iPhone 5 Retweets and comments 12 Likes C 12/5/19 as and Replying to @TheOnion Someone help this man find a sense of humor Tweet your reply

The Onion
nfl interest sports /r/atetheonion

professional poker player

@TheOnion 3h The Onion Panicking Professional Poker Player Suddenly Can't Remember Whether Ace Is Better Than King bit.ly/2CheDvl 28 27 118 O 1,607 Replying to @TheOnion how did he become a professional poker player without knowing something that basic? And how do you know what he was thinking anyway? I'm sceptical of this whole story
@TheOnion 3h The Onion Panicking Professional Poker Player Suddenly Can't Remember Whether Ace Is Better Than King bit.ly/2CheDvl 28 27 118 O 1,607 Replying to @TheOnion how did he become a professional poker player without knowing something that basic? And how do you know what he was thinking anyway? I'm sceptical of this whole story

The Onion
poker professional player /r/atetheonion

shame on him

The Onion Yesterday at 4:29 PM • "Man, this s--- never gets old." i THEONION.COM Zoom CEO Reclines Back In Chair In Front Of Massive Wall Of Screens Displaying 10 Milli.. Jocelyn Herrington This guy is nothing more than a snooper. Has no life of his own, so needs to feed on other people's life... shame on him!
The Onion Yesterday at 4:29 PM • "Man, this s--- never gets old." i THEONION.COM Zoom CEO Reclines Back In Chair In Front Of Massive Wall Of Screens Displaying 10 Milli.. Jocelyn Herrington This guy is nothing more than a snooper. Has no life of his own, so needs to feed on other people's life... shame on him!

The Onion
ceo zoom snooping /r/atetheonion

not an iphone

The Onion Mom Wants To Know What Kind Of iPhone She Has bit.ly/3€77MCA @TheOnion · 24m O 24 1.1K 66 L7 Replying to @TheOnion That's not a iphone 2:59 pm · 6 Jul 2020 · Twitter for iPhone IIII II
The Onion Mom Wants To Know What Kind Of iPhone She Has bit.ly/3€77MCA @TheOnion · 24m O 24 1.1K 66 L7 Replying to @TheOnion That's not a iphone 2:59 pm · 6 Jul 2020 · Twitter for iPhone IIII II

The Onion
iphone selfie /r/atetheonion

the radical left

The Onion O @TheOnion 19h New Environmentally Friendly Burial Involves Having Your Dead Body Eaten By Wealthy German Man With Taste For The Exotic bit.ly/ 2CIKEgj 79 17 571 3,800 Replying to @TheOnion This is AWFUL!! The radical left has agiain ruined a beautiful ceremony. This time it's the ceremony of a burial 18:25 · 29 Jun 20 · Twitter for iPhone >
The Onion O @TheOnion 19h New Environmentally Friendly Burial Involves Having Your Dead Body Eaten By Wealthy German Man With Taste For The Exotic bit.ly/ 2CIKEgj 79 17 571 3,800 Replying to @TheOnion This is AWFUL!! The radical left has agiain ruined a beautiful ceremony. This time it's the ceremony of a burial 18:25 · 29 Jun 20 · Twitter for iPhone >

The Onion
radical left wealthy german man bodies /r/atetheonion burial

americans

Tweet The Onion O @TheOnion - 9m Washington Redskins Change Their Name To The D.C. Redskins bit.ly/3gYqldx DC REDSKINS 49 27814 3,757 Replying to @TheOnion Americans lol 8:07 AM · 7/13/20 Twitter for iPhone
Tweet The Onion O @TheOnion - 9m Washington Redskins Change Their Name To The D.C. Redskins bit.ly/3gYqldx DC REDSKINS 49 27814 3,757 Replying to @TheOnion Americans lol 8:07 AM · 7/13/20 Twitter for iPhone

The Onion
americans d.c. washington redskins /r/atetheonion

ozzy osbourne

... un 25 I hope it's not fake news!!!! EPIC! i GENESIUSTIMES.COM Ozzy Osbourne hired to interpret Joe Biden's speeches 23 5 Comments • 3 Shares Like לו Comment Share
... un 25 I hope it's not fake news!!!! EPIC! i GENESIUSTIMES.COM Ozzy Osbourne hired to interpret Joe Biden's speeches 23 5 Comments • 3 Shares Like לו Comment Share

The Onion
joe biden speeches ozzy osbourne /r/atetheonion

new app for teens

The Onion @TheOnion Teens Flock To New App Where They Just Enter Own Personal Data Into Form bit.ly/38luzD
The Onion @TheOnion Teens Flock To New App Where They Just Enter Own Personal Data Into Form bit.ly/38luzD

The Onion
funny meme random meme best meme

save the onion

the ONION America's Finest News Source Breaking News: The Onion on the verge of collapse after not being able to make up s--- that is more idiotic than current reality.
the ONION America's Finest News Source Breaking News: The Onion on the verge of collapse after not being able to make up s--- that is more idiotic than current reality.

The Onion
save the onion the news 2020 /r/funnyandsad

Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. T...

Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept.
Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept.

The Onion
the onion god crying thou shalt not kill

“An Abundance of Cushion” by Stan Kelly

ACCORDING TO "SOCIAL DISTANCING* RULES, YOU TWO NEED TO STAY OUT OF THIS ROOM. KeLLy ©2020 ONION SYNDICATE BUT FIRST: ANOTHER WHISKEY SOUR. Pow! Pow!/ DVD CONSCIENTIOUS CITIZENS PROBABLY CARRIERS CHIPS *LATEST FAD GRAND-DEMIC.
ACCORDING TO "SOCIAL DISTANCING* RULES, YOU TWO NEED TO STAY OUT OF THIS ROOM. KeLLy ©2020 ONION SYNDICATE BUT FIRST: ANOTHER WHISKEY SOUR. Pow! Pow!/ DVD CONSCIENTIOUS CITIZENS PROBABLY CARRIERS CHIPS *LATEST FAD GRAND-DEMIC.

The Onion
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We call it: Doom


The Onion
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SOCIETY

the ONION America's Finest News Source Breaking News: The Onion on the verge of collapse after not being able to make up s--- that is more idiotic than current reality.
the ONION America's Finest News Source Breaking News: The Onion on the verge of collapse after not being able to make up s--- that is more idiotic than current reality.

The Onion
the onion current year weirdest timeline reality

Now that's 'da bomb'

Kel9 GOOD NEWS! MY SON HAS GONE TO THE MIDDLE EAST AND JOINED JIHAD. BECAUSE HE'S FINALLY MOVED OUT OF THE BASEMENT AND IS MAKING SOMETHING OF HIMSELF! @2015 ONION SYNDICATE. // HOW IS THAT GOOD? XX XX OPEN NOW THAT'S "DA BOMB."
Kel9 GOOD NEWS! MY SON HAS GONE TO THE MIDDLE EAST AND JOINED JIHAD. BECAUSE HE'S FINALLY MOVED OUT OF THE BASEMENT AND IS MAKING SOMETHING OF HIMSELF! @2015 ONION SYNDICATE. // HOW IS THAT GOOD? XX XX OPEN NOW THAT'S "DA BOMB."

The Onion
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“Heart On” by Stan Kelly


The Onion
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