Conservatives have a long history of being "mad at the NFL" whenever it makes them think of anything else, whether that be racial injustice, slurs against Native Americans, or their own sexuality. It's no surprise then that conservative NFL viewers are angry that the Super Bowl LIV halftime show was too freakin' sexy for their taste.

The most prominent of these critics is one "Coach Dave," aka conservative podcast hose and YouTuber Dave Daubenmire, who expressed a desire to sue the NFL for potentially giving hormonal boys erections.

“Would that halftime show, would that have been rated PG?" he said. "Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son -- whose hormones are just starting to operate -- was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”

He also claimed that the NFL could be legally liable if he burns in hell for looking at Shakira and Jennifer Lopez.

“Could I go into a courtroom and say, ‘Viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire’? Could the court say, ‘That doesn’t apply here because the right to [produce] porn overrides your right to [not] watch it’?… That’s discriminatory against the value I have in my house. You can’t just do that. I want to sue [the NFL] for about $867 trillion.” He's apparently looking for a lawyer who will take up the case.

It's a shame the lawsuit idea was wasted on this rather than last year's boring-as-dirt halftime show which promised Sweet Victory but instead gave a completely tepid Maroon 5 concert.