OJ's Parole Hearing Inspires Jokesters

Yesterday, O.J. Simpson was released from prison on parole after serving nine years of his 33-year sentence for an armed robbery conviction in 2008. The hearing, which was streamed live on national television for approximately two and a half hours, was absolutely bananas.

Just days after rumors began circulating that Simpson could be denied parole because he was allegedly caught masturbating in his cell, the former NFL running back's hearing was a surreal spectacle that appeared to take place in a reality where his murder trial never happened.

"Nobody's ever accused me of pulling any weapon on them," said O.J, prompting massive cries of "buh, wuhhh?" nationwide.

O.J. Simpson tells parole board “nobody’s ever accused me of pulling any weapon on them” https://t.co/uMA5wwpKm0 https://t.co/bJHWZqurW5

— CNN (@CNN) July 20, 2017

Simpson, who in the so called "Trial of the Century" was tried for allegedly stabbing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, maintained his innocence and insisted that he had lived a "conflict-free life." This blatant break from the reality of Simpson's conflict-filled was right in Twitter jokesters' wheelhouse.

"I've led a conflict free life."#OJSimpsonParole pic.twitter.com/jo8mwTqEQs

— Chris Westfall (@imChrisWestfall) July 20, 2017

OJ Simpson just now: "I've basically spent a conflict-free life."

1. Double Murder
2. Domestic Abuser
3. Stalker

— Yashar Ali (@yashar) July 20, 2017

“I basically have spent a conflict-free life,” O.J. Simpson observes. Oh, man. Do I ever have 20 hours of recent TV to recommend to him.

— Daniel Fienberg (@TheFienPrint) July 20, 2017

Then there was the moment Simpson described himself as a "straight shooter," which, if you're a guy who narrowly dodged a murder conviction, might not be the best choice of words.

O.J. Simpson: "I'm not a guy who lived a criminal life. I'm a pretty straight shooter." pic.twitter.com/IvcGeZpuP2

— Nicki Jhabvala (@NickiJhabvala) July 20, 2017

Simpson: "I'm not a guy who's lived a criminal life. I'm a pretty straight shooter"

Correction: straight stabber

GUILTY #OJSimpsonParole pic.twitter.com/yCD4TTJAD4

— Chet Cannon (@Chet_Cannon) July 20, 2017

And finally, Twitter users couldn't help but notice that the O.J. hearing coincided with bad news for a certain someone, who was also embroiled in controversy when the Simpson trial occurred in the 1990s.

The 90s are back baby!!!! pic.twitter.com/yWnGtNr07P

— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) July 20, 2017

My timeline is colliding pic.twitter.com/Oyt8wrFyqG

— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) July 20, 2017

The Nevada Board of Parole agreed to let O.J. free as he had “no prior convictions,” “community support” and “stable release plans.” One of the victims in the case, Bruce Fromong, testified that he had known Simpson for years and forgiven him. Simpson suggested he may start a webcast or a blog with his newfound freedom.