The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - Rito by Ningukt

This one sells you arrows.

This one steals your man.

This one is your man.

This one prefers the air.

This one prefers to swear.

This one is a MILF

And this one won't make you another bow until he watches you smash the last memento of your dead friend's life over you knee.

THAT AIN'T FALCO!