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Anonymous (ID sYou suddenly realize your parachute has a malfunction and it won't open you have a mobile phone Senough time to make one call Who you gonna call and what would you say? +23 posis and 4 imiage replies omitted Click here to view >> ■ Anonymous (ID:ameen ) 08/07/14(Thu)20:24:34 No.561 113647 File: 1395018070785 ipg (52 KB, 364x537) >whip out cell phone call gf 'wwwwwwww0000000oowwwwoowowwowowOWo gf calls me a a------ thinking im just repeatedly blowing into the microphone like i usually do

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Mad Max

File: Aus png (460 KB, 720x733) Cops Called, Eggs Thrown At Hundreds Of Pokémon Go Players In Sydney Luke Punkot 07/13/16(Wed)19.33.17 No.344919409 3449 19524 >>344919802 >>3449 19920 >Some background: Rhodes is a suburb with a ton of high-density apartments, all clustered around the waterfront and a big IKEA/shopping mall. >When Pokémon Go was released last week, a combination of the high population density and a number of Pokestops in the suburb's Peg Paterson Park meant that it was one of the best (and most popular) places in all of Sydney to catch some pocket monsters > Massive crowds, sometimes peaking at over 1000 people, have flocked to the park, often late at night, and after a few evenings of this noise and bustle the residents of the apartment buildings overlooking the action have had enough. >On Tuesday night, things came to a head. Reports that at some residents -reacting to the "complete chaos, and "massive levels of noise,-started throwing waterbombs and eggs at the crowd >One resident, dressed in a Mad Max costume, threatened to fight the entire crowd. When the crowd called his bluff, he produced a broom wrapped in barb wire and launched himself into the crowd using whirlwind" attacks as some witnesses stated > The Mad Max aficionado's attacks sent panics through the crowd and a stampede ensued until police arrived to end the confrontation. In the end 36 Pokemon Go players were treated for lacerations and an additional 7 for injuries during the stampede. Why is this allowed? We just want to catch some Pokemon. Leave us alone, we're not hurting anyone Anonymous 07/13/16(Wed)19:34 26 No 344919524 344919939 2234492 1190 File: 1447025790919 ipg (117 KB, 996x868) One resident, dressed in a Mad Max costume threatened to fight the entire crowd. When the crowd called his bluff, he produced a broom wrapped in barb wire and launched himself into the crowd using "whirlwind" attacks as some witnesses stated Au AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Anonymous 07/13/16(Wed)1939 14 № 34491 9987トー34492 1190 22344922661 File (1.02 MB, 1920x1080) >One resident, dressed in a Mad Max costume, threatened to fight the entire crowd. When the crowd called his bluff, he produced a broom wrapped in barb wire and launched himself into the crowd using whirlwind" attacks as some witnesses stated F------ Straya Anonymous 07/13/16(Wed) 19:44:47 No.344920479トー344921190 File: 1457221839917png (464 KB, 481x518) 344919409 (OP >he produced a broom wrapped in barb wire and launched himself into the crowd using "whirlwind attacks as some witnesses stated Anonymous 07/13/16(Wed)19:45:33 No. 344920541 146631508 1633 png (694 KB, 640x480) トー44921199 >One resident, dressed in a Mad Max costume, threatened to fight the entire crowd. When the crowd called his bluff, he produced a broom wrapped in barb wire and launched himself into the crowd using whirlwind attacks as some witnesses stated. BASED Where were you when pokefags got BTFO?

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Tables turnt

rcmp high river.jpg (40 KB, 650x434) google iqdb □ Anonymous 1 day ago No.29725707 >>29725751 >>2972 >>29728046 >>29728080 >>29728303 >>29728353 >>29728608 >>29733820 >>29733892 >>29733958 >>29734517 >>29734577 >POLICE OPEN UP! WE DONT NEED A WARRANT! How do you respond? Anonymous 1 day ago No.29728046 >>29729331 >>29730698 >>29730892 no girls jpg (40 KB, 480x443) google iqdb >>29725707 (OP) >Grab gun and gear >Sneak out back door >Get to the back of their line >Wait for them to bust the door in >Once they all enter close the door behind them >Knock on the door and tell them to come out with their hands up My how the tables have turned.

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Big Booooooo

■ Anonymous 8 minutes ago No. 239834823 >>239835109 2239835110 239835339 2239835680 1378258795078.jpg (106 KB, 640x360) google igdb sounds >be 11 years old getting homy but i don't even know how to fap realize I could find t------ on the computer wait till nobody was home get on that s--- type "big boobs into google safe search is on or something so there's nothing good realize parents and sister will see what i searched in the history type big boo Ppress enter do it again but add anothero >do it until it fills the entire bar >whenever you type something into google you just see a big long line of >big booo000000 >big booo0000000 big b >big booo000000000 no one must find my secret

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Good Trip

File: 1367265933378.jpg-(60 KB, 480x480, biohazard.jpg) G I :when shes starts bitchin, innawoods. anonymous 04/29/13(Mon)13:05:33 UTC-7 No.16054115 Replies: 160541662216054175 GF starts complaining about all the time and money and i spend on my guns, and on top of that started to say something jive s--- about a 100 mile road trip to see her folks. so....I RAN innawoods. This is the story of the sketchy operation >headed north to my favorite casual camp spot (not my innawoods hide away) >set up camp and was chillin cleanin my ak47 >Some straing individuals approached me inside my camp, but they had an abundance of beer soo....they seemed trustworthy >followed them to their camp > gorged my self on beer >20 Brewsters later... > dude starts pounding some chick > i yelled "get it before the government does >they did not approve of my comment. >die hard OBAMAO supporters > dude starts at me, while his friend and gf gran rope > I shouted "youll never take me alive you mooncricket assholes!" >began to sprint through the woods >.asshoes began throwing rocks > I drunkenly shout" My rocks fly faster!" and fired threes rounds > continued to run > lost them. >beer may have been laced with LSD >began hallucinating stripped out, stripped down to my naked glory and covered self in mud > paranoia set in >could not tell if campers were just campers, or SEAL team six in disguise >belly crawl through the woods >found a river. began belly crawling in the shallows down stream. Fuzzy memories >woke up 100 miles south east of my home under a railroad bridge in a nest made of sticks and leaves like a predatory bird, cuddling ak47 >mouth tasted like moss and mud >three days later finally made it home after hitch hiking >still dont know what happened to my truck or the seal team campers Anonymous 04/29/13(Mon)13:11:01 UTC-7 No. 1605416 P3 responsible gun owner

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Batweed

11 Smokey Mcbongwater Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:05:42 ESTIDKSc614v No.40714400 Δ File: 1327446342192.gif-(279481 B, 500x346) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size 甲Quick Reply sbe parkouring wearing batman costume because it's halloween, feels appropriate. find an alley that looks promising, decide to smoke a spliff while i plan out my route halfway done when someone taps on my shoulder, says 'excuse me >turn around, it's a cop. he says "i don't think the batman would break the law" panic for a second, then remembered the easy roof access. decide to ham it up and say in my best batman voice "then... you don't know the batman" corner jump up a wall, run along the top of a fence and leap upa building get to top of the building, look down. cop looks f------ baffled Phear him say into walkie talkie 'i think i caught the real batman smoking weed' a few months later, i bumped into the same cop on the street. he asks me to stop for a second, saying i look familiar, but can't place my face MFW the whole ordeal

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Wereshitposter

File: 1434893711298.png (85 KB, 361x333) ■ Anonymous 09/25/15(Fri)14:20:36 No.22629468 [Reply] >-226295142-22629521 who else /shitpostingenthusiast/ here? >got drunk yesterday >don't remember most of it >woke up with insane hangover >look at 11 hours of browser and event history >apparently I felt some waves of creativity >spammed Ir9k/, /pol, Ixl and /mu/ with idiotic comments >got in a huge inernet fight with some dude from baltic states while roleplaying as slav (I'm strayan) used switzerland, turkish and russian proxies >have a dozen of pictures of unknown people saved [wherever am i must also shitpost on my hard drive >wrote long ass greentext story about tf no gf, butchered it in half and posted the wall of nonsense >created at least 16 threads, 9 of them in /r9k/ >one had 300+ replies, rest had 5-10 "sang" a song for Imu/ >got globally m00ted for saying "ayy Imao" in Ix/ magick b------- thread >made a screenshot of ban >even tried to c------- >again, don't remember almost anything of it >mfw I'm wereshitposter page and named it "proud.jpg"

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WELL DO YAH PUNKS?

File: 4chanlololo245.ipg (34 KB, 251x407) ■ Anonymous 10/05/16 Wed 09:55:10 No.706595555 22708505748 >708505917 >>708596356 >>708596537 >>708596781 >>700596783 22708507013 22708507138 22708597297 22708508000 227066 >Be me, 6'5 280 lbs redneck 기 mean total redneck. Trump lovin', confederate flag wavin', gun totin", trailer livin' redneck Live 10 miles from nearest town, 2 miles from nearest neighbor >Sitting on beanbag chair in living room of double wide whilst eating a cherry popsicle and watching longmire on netflix, got a semi bc vic makes the spaghetti roll >hear car pull into driveway w-- jpg >Not only is this weird because of distance from town, it's also 3 AM ook out window >s----- 80's oldsmobile wagon pulled into yard >3 teens in full "scary" clown costumes step out >there's been a string of thefts on nearby farms, figure it's connected >Throw on a pair of jungle boots and cowboy hat, leaving the rest in the nude >Grab Draco AK pistol on the way out of door >Can see they are sneaking around by my other trailer (there is two on my property, use other one for storage but it has more lights on and looks more lived in) >Sneak up behind them >Jump behind the biggest one, whom I am a solid 7 inches taller than was gonna yell wanna die?" or "What the f---?" but brain went full autist and combined the two syell "wanna f---? >All three turn around to see a 6'5 overweight redneck wearing nothing but a cowboy hat and combat boots, carrying an AK, with lipstick-red lips that just asked them if they wanna f--- ook down and realize all the adrenaline turned the semi into a throbbing, precum-leaking full on >Never seen anyone run that fast in my life >mfw I'll bet they never try the clown prank again.

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Turd Toss

Anonymous 12/26/10(Sun)06:40:13 No.12626439 File1293363613 ipg-(35 KB, 730x590, 1287819309086.jpg) I have the worst story of all time >over at a friends house need to take a s--- really bad run to the toilet, his room is right next door to the bathroom ltake two monster size turds s flush, nothing happens bowl fills with water and s--- just stays there sit wont flush, I panic. I don't want anyone to come in and see the massive crap I just made sl open the bathroom window, reach into the bowl with my hands and grab the brown dildo sized s--- >l toss it out the window into the neighbours garden which is only like 2 meters away ssecond s--- goes flying over the wall as well there is no face for when I get back to his room and his window is open. >did you just throw crap next door? NOPE

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Farm Story

Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes >Be 15 > Go to farm on after- school group's field trip >Want to be funny 19 KB JPG > Go to farmer "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MFW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded

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45mm

This is a Glock & Wesson 45mm FPO designed in 1789 by Colt Koch Anonymous 01/08/15(Thu)01:04:05 No.24256699 File. Dale-Earnhardt-23 lpg (68 KB, 550x468) 2224231958 45mm? H-------- d---- where can i find one of those? >Be chillin at the house Hear a crash Ohfuckrobbers.jpg Whip out my 45mm hand gun >Pray to Colt Koch >Sneak down stairs >see 2 m------------ carrying my tv not this time bitch fire at one of them >His chest explodes >demolishes tv he goes down >Other dude starts to run ofire three shots rapidly >first one knocks hole in wall the size of a baby >second hits the guys arm, it goes fliying off with an arch of blood >third hits his head, bullet goes through, taking his head with it -tears top half of my front door completely off >my arm is now broken in 8 places I can make my arm wiggle like my semi-flacid d--- >Have to go to hospital Shave to get new tv >have to get new wall >have to get new door >mfw it's all worth it

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Badda Bing

Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No 683368161 >be me >20 >walking around Brooklyn new to the city feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs 6 KB JPG BADDA BING > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Amazon Prime X

Anonymous No.703960114 20 minutes ago amazon >be me go on amazon to buy stainless steel popcorn machine (i love popcorn) add my s--- to cart see they have an upgrade to Amazon Prime called Amazon Prime X claims to deliver your order i 10 minutes or les:s think its b------- free trial so i use it anyway checkout 10 minutes go by think "i knew it was too good to be true" >Knock knock, open up the door, it's real With the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel >mfw X gonna give it to ya F--- waitin' for you to get it on your own >X gonna deliver to ya

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+18

Greentext Stories - Sky dive

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous (ID sYou suddenly realize your parachute has a malfunction and it won't open you have a mobile phone Senough time to make one call Who you gonna call and what would you say? +23 posis and 4 imiage replies omitted Click here to view >> ■ Anonymous (ID:ameen ) 08/07/14(Thu)20:24:34 No.561 113647 File: 1395018070785 ipg (52 KB, 364x537) >whip out cell phone call gf 'wwwwwwww0000000oowwwwoowowwowowOWo gf calls me a a------ thinking im just repeatedly blowing into the microphone like i usually do

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