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Uploaded by Goatllama May 17, 2017 at 06:12PM EDT
Origin Entry: Greentext Stories
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![I-15.ipg (136 KB, 1600x1600) igdb google 88□ Anonymous 07/07/12(Sat)09:06 No.3003380 Reply [r] -filling out job application yesterday >"Other names or nickname you go by >happened to see Escape from LA on the tele while eating breakfast earlier that morning and put down Snake >phone rings today >"Hello, is this Snake? >YesssSsssSssssssS... send up acting like this awkward freak with a speech impediment entire conversation ady actually wants me to come in for an interview Oh God. Am I supposed to keep the act up or do l just awkwardly drop it and act completely normal as soon as I see her or would that come across as dishonest or oh god why is this happening Anonymous 07/07/12(Sat)11:39 No.3004452 Well long story short I awkwardly trolled the entire interview and somehow got the job. I can only imagine these places get some perk from the govt for meeting a minimum quota of mentally challenged employees. She actually stepped away halfway through the interview and brought in some other boss and this old District Manager guy that was wearing a cowboy hat. He shook my hand and said Its good to meet you, Snake" he couldn't of been a day younger than 80 Some tidbits from the interview > Do you have a wife or children? >"No I live with my parentssSsss.." >Ooh.."(awkward silence) >Tell me about yourself! What do you do for fun? >Ssssunbathing." >"Well it's a good year for that! sss.. just kinda hissed quietly for no reason, she looked a little weirded out) >What would you say are your strengths? s"Once I wrap myself around a taskl dont let go until itsss finished." >Thats great! Wow." This poor f------ woman, she was wide-eyed the entire time like in a constant state of shock. I could tell it was intense for her. I felt awkward as f--- so just did a Dexter-grin the whole time and was a bit subtle with some of my S's, but others came out in full force unintentionally I start on Monday. I dont know if I can keep this up when it comes to meeting others, there's some painfully cute girls working there and it d just kill my soul. Not sure if they will give me a nametag with Snake on it but if they do I'll upload a picture on monday](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/253/879/34e.jpg "Sssssnake Plisssssken's the name")
![File: IMG 8325-Version-2-1 ipg (81 KB, 549x366) Anonymous 03/09/15(Mon)09:34:36 No.602668487 [Reply] >>60266875622602669012 be me >be poorfag >be bicycling home from grocery shopping >carrying a bag of sliced bread in my hand since I didn't want to squish it into my backpack >some douchebag passes by me on a bicycle it's on >pedal faster and stay right behind this a------ >a thought starts to form swhat if I pass by him and swing my bread to hit him in the back of the head? >think, "What would /b/ do?" >do it f----- >douchebag turns around and is surprised to see me on his tail >he books it snu-uh >l am determined >he turns around again >I'm still on his tail >l am clearly matching my speed to his >he gets a little freaked out >l yell, "I'm gonna whack your head with this bread, bitch!" >douchebag turns his head around, "What!?" sdouchebag hits a fairly big branch in the road and crashes oh s--- snot how I planned this to go >stop my bike and run towards him, still carrying my bread >swing as hard as I can and smack him right in the face srun back to my bike and book it](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/251/079/df4.jpg "Bread Inexorable")
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Uploaded May 17, 2017 at 06:12PM EDT
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Goatllama
Scrapbooker & Pundit & Media Bus Boy
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GrayVBoat
May 18, 2017 at 10:27PM EDT
ZoruaLoL
May 18, 2017 at 10:31PM EDT in reply to