Sonic the Hedgehog - Not perfect but close enough

Wow, it's almost like they're not meant to be taken seriously.

Their cutscenes, their cardboard cut-out personalities, their predictable… everythings. They were just the least creative bad guys I've ever seen, and nearly everything they said made me cringe hard.

Oh, the crazy one acts crazy? Wow, they much have actually exerted EFFORT to make him this one-dimensional. The emo one? Acts emo! The small wizened old sensei one? Another walking cliche. The female one? Acts… female. That's it. Her entire character is that she's female. Wish I was joking.

Oh, there's The Fat One! Is he gonna talk about food? Of course! He'll talk about food and nothing else! I mean FFS Big the Cat was a fat character, but at least he talked about saving his friend froggy! At least he had some kind of personal goal! At least he had a purpose other than "be there and be fat"! Do you understand now, that BIG THE CAT – whose only characteristics we know are "Large", "Froggy" and "Fishing" – still has better writing than these villains!? Big. The. Cat. Uuuugh.