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CRAGKED Cracked Officially Starts Feeling Sorry for MAD Magazine Facebook Twitter + Google Plus Add to Favorites Daniel O'Brien January 30, 200985,498 views Hey. Hey MAD. How you doing? Why don't you sit down, slip off those shoes of yours? Have something cold to drink, maybe snack on a few of these chips. Do you want a back rub, or something? Heating pad? Foot massage? You've been having kind of a rough time, lately, haven't you? We feel your pain, really, we do (well, not really, things are actually pre great over here. But you know what we mean). I wanted to write sooner, really I did. Back in November, your TV show (that, evidently, wasn't already canceled), was canceled. That must've been tough. Even though it didn't have much to do with your brand, it had your name on it, so that must have hurt a little bit.I wanted to reach out to you, but I just got so busy, see, we were installing hot tubs in all of the Cracked offices at the time, which required a ton of my attention (you can't install hot tubs within five feet of a chocolate fountain, which we'd just installed in October). They're kind of tacky, I know, but we had some extra cash so why not, right? See? We know what it's like to have a magazine canceled, so we're in the same boat... Okay, not really in the "same boat," necessarilv, because had our awesome site after all very little in common we're doing extremely well. Our magazine tanking was, at most, an aggravating detail, we stil You guys, on the other hand, have nothing but the magazine. So, I guess our boats have Continue Reading Below Still, we're certainly the guys to talk to if you're looking for advice. No one knows better than we do how to bounce back from a magazine crash. Though it's highly unlikely that you'll ever enio our site boasts an award-winning journalist as well as that guy who did Internet Par real comedy force in today's world, just like Cracked! Though, again, and I know it must sound like I'm harping on this point, but we are not at all in the same boat. Our boat is substantially larger, a great deal faster and, if I may, considerably more sexually proficient. Your boat is a quarterly boat which, nautically speaking, is the worst kind of boat to be. Come to think of it, we might not even be in the same ocean as your (rapidly sinking) boat. Or maybe we're like some sort of sexy helicopter hovering above your boat, hurling garbage at you the same kind of internet success that we enjoy- ou do have the potential to be a Daniel O'Brien @DOB INC Follow I no longer work for Cracked.com 6:25 PM- 4 Dec 2017 145 Retweets 1,028 Likes 814 145 ㅇ 1.0K

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The "award-winning journalist" he's talking about is himself


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But you still invaded their homeworld to acquire their energy sources and started a needless war with them. And now you're just wantonly destroying them for retaliating, with weapons you gave them, when they have a legitimate beef. It's political. You're America and they're... somewhere. Dude, they're literally demons. Let's be honest, did you actually ever give a damn about Doom's plot? Why Satan Is The Good Guy In Doom
Zombies act the way they do in Night of the Living Dead because the movie couldn't afford special effects. There was no money for effects showing dead people rising from graves, so the filmmakers came up with the ideas that only recently dead people could become zombies and that humans would turn into zombies by getting bitten. GRACKED.COM
THE PRIDE OF THE POAHAA DOLPH LUNDGREN IVAN IV with SYLVESTER STALLONE as "THE AMERICAN" VICTORY DAY 1985 CRACKED COM
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Uploaded Dec 07, 2017 at 11:35AM EST

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