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Dr. Cave Johnson
Dr. Cave Johnson

I'll have you know that this is a blatant fabrication about the kinds of research we are doing here at Aperture Science. These "tide pods" were NOT being developed for commercial use as snacks. We were fully aware of the dangers of ingesting both our repulsion gel and our concentrated moon dust gel. These pods were actually a first-ever triple-blind experiment to test if Repulsion and Propulsion gel could be used to mitigate the effects of moon dust poisoning. Bean counters told me it was a bad idea, which is always a surefire sign that I'm on to something. The plan was to package the gels together in an appetizing manner, sell them as detergent and search the news for reports of moon dust poisoning symptoms from those who ate it. The reason it's triple-blind is because even we didn't know who we were testing. We went with the detergent route because if it didn't work the only people who would die would only be those dumb enough to eat detergent just because it's packaged in a candy coating. With their average IQ it's not like they had long anyway. Turns out the combination of the gels not only didn't work, but actually accelerated the onset of moon dust poisoning by 3.2 million times, causing the gradual corrosion of the tissue that normally happens over years to happen almost instantaneously. Turns out our backup plan worked, and thanks to the sacrifices of those brave idiots we're now further along than ever to developing a cure for moon dust poisoning. Good work, team.

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Nedhitis
Nedhitis

Another fact about TIDE Pods: the reason the pod was created was to replace the liquid version in fear that the liquid would look too attractive and be drank by children thinking it was juice, so they changed it into a pod, instead.

Basically. the whole invention failed at everything it attempted.

+36

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