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Hey Siri, why don't my relationships work out? This is Alexa.

LIBRA SCIENCEpho s--- You have lupus. ENGELHOLOLIBRARY I dunno man, that sounds kind of rash.... COLIBRARY SCIENCEPHOTOLIBRAR SCIENCE OTOLIBRARY SCIENCEPHOTOLIBRARY EphotoLIBRARY SCIENCEphotoLIBRARY SCIENCEphoto So I said to her, "I don't give a s--- if you're part of the body. If you have antibodies, I'm going to kill you."

Me: I got bitten on my walk by a Great Dane Her: My God - imagine if it had been a small child Me:I could have fought off a small child, Alice ale alay al

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+89

Captioned Stock Photos - Truly Inspirational

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I'm not sure if this is the best gallery to put it in but it's the closest match I could find.

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The Christmas Pyro

The Christmas Pyro

Mar 02, 2019 at 05:27AM EST

and both my dads just shrugged.

+42

RealityCanonizer

RealityCanonizer

Mar 01, 2019 at 09:01PM EST

Ladies and Gentlemen.
We got 'em.

+16

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Uploaded Mar 01, 2019 at 07:07PM EST

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