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1 040mph mph @LS

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Hey Siri, why don't my relationships work out? This is Alexa.

LIBRA SCIENCEpho s--- You have lupus. ENGELHOLOLIBRARY I dunno man, that sounds kind of rash.... COLIBRARY SCIENCEPHOTOLIBRAR SCIENCE OTOLIBRARY SCIENCEPHOTOLIBRARY EphotoLIBRARY SCIENCEphotoLIBRARY SCIENCEphoto So I said to her, "I don't give a s--- if you're part of the body. If you have antibodies, I'm going to kill you."

Me: I got bitten on my walk by a Great Dane Her: My God - imagine if it had been a small child Me:I could have fought off a small child, Alice ale alay al

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+169

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1 040mph mph @LS

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DaAndroid614

DaAndroid614

Nov 01, 2017 at 07:22PM EDT in reply to Heatex77

stop explaining jokes it makes them not funny

+30

Mudssun

Mudssun

Nov 01, 2017 at 09:51PM EDT in reply to Heatex77

OP:

+19

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