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Virgin vs. Chad - World of Warcraft Classic

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Left the game industry behind to pursue more fulfilling ventures THE CHAD "The Virgin Classic Player" Realized Blizzard is a terrible company seconds after Vanilla was released over a decade ago Spends hours of his day performing a repetitive task, every day Exhausted mentally, senses shot from staring at a screen for so long Feels nothing when he accomplishes a goal; just moves on to the next one Perpetually interrupted by gold- sellers, robots, trolls and streamers Ancient, ugly game engine means he can play it on decrepit hardware Calls it a "game" yet treats it like a chore OUCH! Enslavement to Pays monthly for the privilege to feel such mind-numbing boredom the game encourages unhealthy, sedentary lifestyle No meaningful relationships made, as every other player also acts like an automaton Used this very arm to beat Jeff Kaplan within an inch of his life Healthy, powerful body; if he comes within a few feet of a computer it explodes Will destroy the game's data banks, rescuing all virgins from its grasp Is laid 24 hours a day by simply telling women he doesn't like World of Warcraft Plays a game with no future because his own was such an invariable letdown

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