"Illegal crematorium" is not a phrase I thought I'd ever read. What was illegal about it? Were they burning people murdered by the mob? Were they doing cremations for cheap without a license or something? Did a relative die and they just didn't want to shell out the money to a funeral home?

Note: not a joke. Big Funeral is a real lobby and arguably the most successful one with an iron grip on the law draining cash from everybody and making it literally illegal to not buy from them.