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: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:06:30 No.848510192 Dream analysis thread? >Tornado raging through town >l own the only tornado shelter in town >Ask crush if she wants to come 746 KB PNG inside shelter >"Nah I'm good" >Gets sucked up by tornado and dies. What does this mean? 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:08:04 No.848510279 deep-state running psych experiments on you : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:09:58 No.848510377 >>848510192 (OP) # someone would rather die than be with you?

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>his waifu doesn't have access to a fleet of private satellites so that she can track a singular person anywhere on the planet and then call in her private B-52 to firebomb half of Afghanistan

Anonymous Failed shopping attempt 105 KB JPG 03/29/25(Sat) 07:38:26 No.80793301 They should stop hiring attractive women as sales associates in men's clothing shops. >be me >trying to buy shoes in a sneakers shop >needed to ask one of their workers to bring out a pair in my size >all the workers, besides one older dude, are attractive girls of my age >feel uncomfortable, but wait till that guy isn't busy and ask him >try the shoes on, it's not a great fit, want to ask for a different size >the guy is now nowhere to be seen >assemble all my courage and ask one of the female workers >8/10 beaty >"yeah, sure..." a bit of annoyance can be heard in her voice and the look of disgust isn't fully hidden on her face >"actually nevermind" >leave the shop F--- I HATE BEING LOOKED AT WITH DISGUST. Most likely would have bought something, if they hadn't decided to hire those Stacies View Thread

Anonymous 03/11/24(Mon) 18:13:14 No. 197128712 file.png 476 KB PNG >over the top, but fun action slop >good cinematography >pacing on point >good acting >certified kino >somehow flops this is why we can't have good things

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Has this happened to anyone else? | /r/Greentext

> be me > neet autist > 32 > parents go to work > 11AM, start gaming and get horny > find video called C--- Craving 161 KB PNG Teen > plug-in headphones with epic audio quality > plug-in vr headset > absolutely epic > stroking penis in motion with the video thrusts > stop myself from c------ about 5 or 6 times > finally blow my load > take off headphones and vr headset > turn around > theres a sandwich on my bed > w--.png > creep downstairs slowly > hear weeping from kitchen > mom mixed up shift and wasnt supposed to be in work > figured Id still be in bed, so decided to surprise me with sandwich > found me slowly stroking my penis, wearing be headset whilst gasping > she yelled at me, but I was wearing headphones > didnt hear > mother just leaves shocked and upset She currently bursts into tears frequently when she sees me. My dad wont speak to me at all and says Im an embarrassment. Why am I such a f--- up? Has this happened to anyone else?

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Anon doesn't like talking to women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What the f--- is wrong with me(...) 02/28/21(Sun)23:22:09 No.62535687 >Go to club with best friend >Some hole begins talking to me >Tries to get me to buy her a drink >With disgust, say "Why would I buy you a drink? YOU buy ME a drink." >This makes her more aggressive >Won't leave me alone 193 KB PNG >Try to talk to her >Doesn't even seem to have a brain in her head >Keeps trying to get me to buy her a drink "What part of 'no, you buy me a drink' confused you? The part where you don't get what you want?" >"I like giving b-------" >Constantly fighting the urge to punch her in the face Why am I disgusted when women talk to me?

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anon is free | /r/Greentext

File: 5b6f0 1a6-a012-46f9-8a15-1(..).jpg (509 KB, 919x919) O Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:08:16 No.21 ITT: Times you acted like Eren Jaeger >See a dog being taken on walk >Kick it and berate it for not being free as I am | Showing all replies. O Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:18:03 No >>217223905 (OP) Based Erenchad. Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:18:40 No i r---- a lesbian girl

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Anon is comforted by his fellow robots | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:50:41 No.62534898 Please be patient I have autism >be me >just got my first serious job >been a McDonald's employee for years before that >someone calls our office, I pick up the phone 42 KB JPG >autism.exe >"thanks for choosing McDonald's, how may I help you today?" >confused silence on the other end of the line >confused silence in my office, everyone who heard it is staring at me I can never return to this job : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:54:46 No.62534922 It's all fine, fren. Just say that you were a little confused that day, overworked and that's why it happened. 61 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)16:03:24 No.62535001 >>62534898 (OP) # Dude, just play it off as a funny one off incident. Laugh it off and tell the caller and everyone in the office that you've spent years working at Mcdonalds and old habits die hard.

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Anon chokes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)13:06:20 No.848506631 name 3 things that arent Jackie Chan ill start > feet > spider > Jackie Chan 6 KB JPG F--- View Thread

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Anon will forget | /r/Greentext

File: mfw.jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw

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Anon has a psychotic episode | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.622798957 17 minutes ago I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures I photoshopped of her giving birth to me. 6 replies

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Anon goofed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Shrimps save anon's life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/f-- uncle's house for some s--- >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before >he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG >throw them in a barely cycled tank with some s----- rock >several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on >eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade >the eggs disappear and I once again thinkI f----- up >a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp >l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending >start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out >relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp >for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake >it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >s--- they're gonna think I'm autistic >they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.

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Anon is living the dream. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)19:06:35 No.848481848 LIVING THE DREAM PM 6PM. S PM QAMA 4A.M. FAP FAP KAM 4212425.png 807 KB PNG Post your daily routine. >wake up >j------- to sissy p--- in bed >get out of bed >make myself some coffee >get on the pc and play vidya and watch series >browse the chan >j------- to Sissy P--- >get drunk over the afternoon >go on a walk taking sips out of my flask >start shitposting again >j------- to sissy p--- again >go to bed and hug myself to sleep

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Anon paints a picture of a soyboy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Isoy/ 02/28/21(Sun)01:49:05 No.62527812 imagine. this is your life. >you think trump was the root of all problems in the world >you think george bush and obama are decent people 24 KB JPG >you just had a top comment in r/politics >your reddit karma is skyrocketing >you watch reruns of the big bang theory til you fall asleep >your wife is obsessed with disney and feminism, and wants nothing to do with cleaning your condo >you ask your wife how she would feel about having sex with other men while you watch >you go to the barcade with your other millennial frens and drink IPAS >you are about to get a vasectomy so that you could focus full time on video games and your furbabies >you apologize to POC for being white, they look at you strangely but you know it's for the greater good >you haven't been to the gym since early college and eat processed foods and drink onions >you blocked your family on facebook and called them KKK members after they made a joke about you not supporting trump >life has never been better. Post greentexts about similar people. This isn't one specific person, but an amalgamation of ones ik irl. F------ California i stg

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Anon encounters racial diversity | /r/Greentext

What is the most interesting monster/paranormal thing in North America? Pepe Busters 43 KB JPG 20 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)03:08:22 No.27787287 >>27786028 (OP) # n------ obviously

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Greentext Stories - Anon dreams | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:06:30 No.848510192 Dream analysis thread? >Tornado raging through town >l own the only tornado shelter in town >Ask crush if she wants to come 746 KB PNG inside shelter >"Nah I'm good" >Gets sucked up by tornado and dies. What does this mean? 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:08:04 No.848510279 deep-state running psych experiments on you : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:09:58 No.848510377 >>848510192 (OP) # someone would rather die than be with you?

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