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Anonymous | 850189907 9 min. ago •.. Alright boys, here's a quick story about the time one of my dearest friends almost died >Be me, 17 >Play tf2 a lot >One day meet another guy, about 21 or so >We start calling an annoying kid a n----- in chat until he leaves >Laugh a lot then become friends >Didn't expect it to last as all tf2 friendships are casual >Thing keeps going, he messages me everyday and we eventually trade instagrams MOCHTON 127.0 kB JPG I know, f----- up right there 1 REPLY 2 IMAGES REPLY 8 min. ago ... Anonymous | 850189977 (continuation) >Turns out he is actually 22, reverse search pictures, no result, this guy seems legit >You can probably see where this is going >Everything goes fine for about a year or so, we talk a lot and become great friends >Tells me about how he got a trad gf and was planning on having kids and everythingi went well for him 61.3 kB JPG >He sent me some money at one point to help me fund my studies >At some point realize this guy is pretty rich >Ask him how he is so rich at such a young age >Reluctant, keep asking but dodges question >Tells me about how he likes to iron naked in front of the tv because f--- all >I remember that in particular because it made me laugh my ass off >Eventually go to Uni, guy wants to fund everything >l tell him that I really don't want free money, it makes me feel bad but I needed a roommate to help me pay for an apartment >Out of the blue offers himself >Not even surprised, that's the kind of s--- he does >Say: what the hell, ok, let's do it >Tell him about my apartment on friday >He comes on sunday, first time meeting in person >Open the door >The dude is 6.3, super fit, wearing a hawaiian shirt, shorts and with a huge smile on his face Anonymous | 850190055 7 min. ago ... >ANO000ON! SA >hug him, we had waited for the day we could m meet for years, never really could cause complications >Guy brings with him his iron >Immediately recall that I still don't know what he does for a job >Eventually gives in and tells me >He works as a hitman >A f------ hitman >Don't believe him at first 460.9 kB PNG >Shows me his computer, and photos he has in his phone for some reason >Beautiful house, illegal guns, 9/10 qtrt >This guy is f------ amazing >Help him unpack his things >At one point ask him about other hitmen >Tells me that actually, it's fairly common for hitmen to hunt eachother, some thing that has to do with competition, sometimes contracts and sometimes even revenge >Tells me they actually tried to kill him multiple times but he always came on top >Also tells me I might have to hide him because he believes a guy nicknamed "The ranger" is looking for him >Mfw >Ask him why he came here then >Tells me It was just a slight suspicion, plus he was well covered and he really wanted to meet me >Not a p---- and love risky things so I just answered with risky things >Fast forward a couple days >Just got out from school, >Three calls lost from friend >Call back, answers yelling >He found him >Hear gunshots through the call >Tells me he's having a shooting inside my apartment with this guy >Automatically connect to a smart tv that has the function of camera >See everything >Fat guy, about 40, behind a counter >See friend grab the iron >He just throws it at the fat guy >Hot, he was ironing, remember when he told me about his hobby, look down and see him naked >He is having a shootout naked inside my apartment >Iron lands on fat guy's leg burns the s--- out if him and sticks >Friend tells me not to worry >Twenty men had tried to kill him >Twenty men had made a slip >Twenty one would be the ranger with >The big iron on his hip >Pic related

Anon's friend almost dies | /r/Greentext


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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie
Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated
Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"
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Anonymous | 850189907 9 min. ago •.. Alright boys, here's a quick story about the time one of my dearest friends almost died >Be me, 17 >Play tf2 a lot >One day meet another guy, about 21 or so >We start calling an annoying kid a n----- in chat until he leaves >Laugh a lot then become friends >Didn't expect it to last as all tf2 friendships are casual >Thing keeps going, he messages me everyday and we eventually trade instagrams MOCHTON 127.0 kB JPG I know, f----- up right there 1 REPLY 2 IMAGES REPLY 8 min. ago ... Anonymous | 850189977 (continuation) >Turns out he is actually 22, reverse search pictures, no result, this guy seems legit >You can probably see where this is going >Everything goes fine for about a year or so, we talk a lot and become great friends >Tells me about how he got a trad gf and was planning on having kids and everythingi went well for him 61.3 kB JPG >He sent me some money at one point to help me fund my studies >At some point realize this guy is pretty rich >Ask him how he is so rich at such a young age >Reluctant, keep asking but dodges question >Tells me about how he likes to iron naked in front of the tv because f--- all >I remember that in particular because it made me laugh my ass off >Eventually go to Uni, guy wants to fund everything >l tell him that I really don't want free money, it makes me feel bad but I needed a roommate to help me pay for an apartment >Out of the blue offers himself >Not even surprised, that's the kind of s--- he does >Say: what the hell, ok, let's do it >Tell him about my apartment on friday >He comes on sunday, first time meeting in person >Open the door >The dude is 6.3, super fit, wearing a hawaiian shirt, shorts and with a huge smile on his face Anonymous | 850190055 7 min. ago ... >ANO000ON! SA >hug him, we had waited for the day we could m meet for years, never really could cause complications >Guy brings with him his iron >Immediately recall that I still don't know what he does for a job >Eventually gives in and tells me >He works as a hitman >A f------ hitman >Don't believe him at first 460.9 kB PNG >Shows me his computer, and photos he has in his phone for some reason >Beautiful house, illegal guns, 9/10 qtrt >This guy is f------ amazing >Help him unpack his things >At one point ask him about other hitmen >Tells me that actually, it's fairly common for hitmen to hunt eachother, some thing that has to do with competition, sometimes contracts and sometimes even revenge >Tells me they actually tried to kill him multiple times but he always came on top >Also tells me I might have to hide him because he believes a guy nicknamed "The ranger" is looking for him >Mfw >Ask him why he came here then >Tells me It was just a slight suspicion, plus he was well covered and he really wanted to meet me >Not a p---- and love risky things so I just answered with risky things >Fast forward a couple days >Just got out from school, >Three calls lost from friend >Call back, answers yelling >He found him >Hear gunshots through the call >Tells me he's having a shooting inside my apartment with this guy >Automatically connect to a smart tv that has the function of camera >See everything >Fat guy, about 40, behind a counter >See friend grab the iron >He just throws it at the fat guy >Hot, he was ironing, remember when he told me about his hobby, look down and see him naked >He is having a shootout naked inside my apartment >Iron lands on fat guy's leg burns the s--- out if him and sticks >Friend tells me not to worry >Twenty men had tried to kill him >Twenty men had made a slip >Twenty one would be the ranger with >The big iron on his hip >Pic related

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Uploaded Mar 22, 2021 at 12:25AM EDT

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Greentext Stories

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