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Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)16:33:41 No.63215015 >coomed in the bathroom at the holocaust museum 8 KB JPG

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: Anonymous 03/02/24(Sat) 13:53:30 No.196821808 >when the media literacy kicks and the giant man-eating insects are actually the good guys 69 KB JPG

Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)00:00:02 No.32331309 NEURON METER IQ CERTIFICATE AWARDED TO Gourn Mueller Your IQ score is 74 Neuron Meber What kind of job can I get with an IQ of 74? March 10, 2023 614 KB PNG Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)00:02:53 No.32331329 A Trump Cabinet appointee

Anonymous No.264820315 4 hours ago >>264820071 >playing some uplink >friend comes into my dorm >"hey what's good- H-------- WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >Man I'm hacking this school database to give this guy a masters degree so I can get f------ paid. >H-------- BRO WHAT >he actually pulled the power cord out of the wall >I turn to him and yell WHAT THE F--- I DIDN'T COVER MY TRACKS YET, THE FBI WILL F--- ME UP FOR THIS, AND NOW YOU'RE AN ACCOMPLICE!! >he ran out of my room screaming >I had a good 20 minute laugh

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Anon works the night shift | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)18:37:12 No.777909733 Be me >Working night shift >local hood grocery store >Customer tells me someone smoking in ladys room >Go in too see 25 KB JPG >300 Ib butt naked black lady scurrys into stall >40 mins before i punch out >dont get paid enough to fully care >Call closing manager >tell him there is a beast of a lady naked in the stall >Hangs up on me >Call back to tell him im not kidding >Mfw this is not the worst thing to happen at my job Also green text thread

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Anon got his revenge on neighbor | /r/Greentext

File: 1568373644855.gif (358 KB, 500x357) Anonymous 09/14/19(Sat)15:58:03 No.54403284 ► >>54403371 >>54403385 >>54403424 > Live with mom for a year. > She lives in a trashy neighborhood where every single house has a dog that is left outside both day and night. > Every single dog on every house barks at me when I pass by jogging in the afternoons. >I complain to a neighbor about it, he says that if I don't like it then I should start running somewhere else. > idea-dot-jpg > Shift my morning routine to 5 in the morning. > Choose a long route that covers as many houses with dogs as possible. > Run through the neighborhood with every single dog barking fiercely at me at 5 in the morning. > By the time I get home at 05:55 I can stil hear every dog in the neighborhood barking and howling at eachother. > Same neighbor complains about it. > I tell him "If you don't like it, you should start waking up at 5 in the morning". > Do this every day. Get f-----, you negligent normies.

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Anon experiences nostalgia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)00:34:24 No.63222122 >>63220698 (OP) # >6 >just started using a pc >played first vidya ever with my dad (first harry potter) >excited about going to school next year 1.12 MB JPG >running around all summer >reading comics and books whenever l'm not outside >want to be a secret agent or an archeologist >know nothing about the world I wouldn't say I miss these days, but I sure was miles happier then

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Anon is not human | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 # >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >>778248351 # >>778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 #

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Anon got an idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)00:22:32 No.852097447 >be me, 16 atm >wanna piss so i go to the toilet >got an idea while I'm peeing >p----- all over the toilet 242 KB JPG and on the floor >had to clean everything worth it

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Anon loses his virginity. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)14:39:48 No.63213550 >30 years old and a virgin >fell for the get TOPPED meme >met up with a guy in his forties last night >cleaned my ass before going over >awkward conversation and have a 29 KB PNG beer >go into bedroom >he hands me his dead wife's clothes >put them on and sit on his lap >he slips down my panties and starts f------ me as I sit on him >worst pain of me life >go through with until he c--- in me >he kisses me and I c-- immediately Am I the gay?

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Anon gets raped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)13:47:03 No.852053870 >be me >be in college >girl comes over >6/10 would not bang >express this to her >multiple times >still down to smooch tho 1.09 MB JPG >we smoochin >no clothes >she says "I wanna put u inside" >l say nah >she puts me inside /b/ did I lose my virginity via r---?

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Anon asks the hot girl for her writing instrument. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen >realize I dont even have 24 KB JPG paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away imgflip.com

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Anon just don't have what it takes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)04:52:24 No.15928024 >one chance at life >allergic to nuts 3 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)04:54:48 No.15928035 >one chance at life >lactose intolerant :(

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Anon has won.... but at what cost. | /r/Greentext

> Bought a new PS4 > Last ones fan was super loud > New super small slim one > Zero noise > mfw I can hear my parents fight now

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Anon tries learning Korean, gives up after seeing the might of the ARMY. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/18(Sat)22:11:49 No.48545174 >be me >want to learn korean >google how to read korean >click on a video explaining hangul >finish video, learned how to read >feelsgood.mov 30 KB JPG >scroll down to comment section to see if theres any useful information >ohno.jpg >every comment is "WHO ELSE IS HERE FOR BTS" or "ANY ARMIES??" suddenly, i dont want to learn korean anymore

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anon is racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Faggotry on Discord - if you d(...) 04/15/21(Thu)00:23:15 No.63220353 nae n---- nae nae >be me >someone sends *that* one n---- n---- nae nae Chinese song that sounds like a funny English word on a Discord meme channel (pic related) 47 KB JPG >I reply "nae n---- nae nae n---- n---- nae nae" >mod deletes my comment and says it is racist, gives me a warning >fight him for like 30 minutes on how my message does not break any server rules as it is not directed towards no one in specific >kicks me >ffw 3 days later >receive friend request from some random guy >ассеpt >he sends screenshots of the mod's message history on the server, 156 results for "n----" How can people be so shameless?

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Greentext Stories - Some things you never forget | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)16:33:41 No.63215015 >coomed in the bathroom at the holocaust museum 8 KB JPG

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