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O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)04:54:53 No.61990417 >>6199046 File: 1610045097614.jpg (50 KB, 750x711) ]>be me, 13 >really want to drive a car >parents wont let me ffw a few months >home alone for the first time in a while >jacking off >idea.png >go out to garage >look at ford focus, blood is pumping, c--- is hard >get in ford focus >hit the garage door button >turn the key >hit the gas VRO0000000OM >not in gear >woops >shift into gear VRRO00- CRASH >hit the house >mfw didnt put it in reverse >mfw did thousands of dollars of damage to family car >mfw

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anons mom is a jake pauler. | /r/Greentext

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Anon has a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/21 (Sat)19:07:01 No.843817428 >take first shower in 3 weeks >use the good shampoo and body wash >put on best clothes >do my hair >dig out the $150 cologne >going on a date? 9 KB JPG >yes >with a woman? >no >..with a man? >no >with a newly bought fleshlight? >yes! This...this isnt how i pictured my love life in my 20s.

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Chad is scary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)15:05:04 No.852922465 >be me >be beta male >just finished building a wall for a school project Clean up time >trying to find a broom >finally find one >walk towards it 28 KB JPG >giga chad runs past me >grabs the f------ only broom from right in front of me >death stares me while walking past with the broom >mfw The day i realized im scared of chads

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Anon does a prank | /r/Greentext

>Be me, 17 >the space between two classrooms was turned into a separate room >the doors both open inside the room 39 KB JPG >lightbulb.bat >shove two tables inside >push the middle up >leave the room >the door closes and the 2 tables fall into position, barricading both doors >they had to break the door and install a new one >mfw nobody in my class has spilled anything to the teacher, even after the 3rd time she asked who it was

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Anon is spending time with his gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)01:16:53 No.852960745 >be me >watching anime with gf >anime girl with 2 humongous t--- comes on screen >"wow anon, she's got bigger boobs than me" 20 KB PNG >"yeah" >flips out at me >"w-- anon? you think she's better?" >"what? no!" >continues to flip out this bitch set me up do women really feel the need for constant validation that they're so special? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon wasn't the brightest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:56:15 No.754124819 > Back in 1th grade > Teacher ask to write my name > Draw a banana > Gets a F and public exposure I hate my life 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:58:23 No.754125046 >1th You deserve what you got op

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Never send a chad to do an anon job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)17:11:23 No.845994812 >be 12 >me and friend wonder if there really is a afterlife >come up with plan >friend will blow brains out 35 KB JPG >respawn >meet back up for pizza >bulletproof.jpg >he does the deed >14 years later >still no sign of him I knew he was to retarded to handle such a mission. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself >cocks gun None of you f--- touch my s--- while i'm gone

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Anon orders pizza | /r/Greentext

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Anon is reminded | /r/Greentext

>>63280286 # >Your life is not a movie, there will be no sudden plot twists. 51 KB PNG

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Anon thinks there are ghosts inside his house | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/20(Thu)08:03:25 No.26452956 >>26425930 (OP) # >Be me 13 >Get up for a glass of water at 1am >Living room pitch black, except the glow from a dull yellow lamp >Hear a voice calling my name: "anon." and pausing before calling again: "anon." >Get a really weird sensation in my legs as I look around the room. >I think "ah man, the schizophrenia's kicking in" >"Anon." and I notice the voice is coming from outside the window >Walk over to the window, and the voice says "good night anon" >lt was just my dad out in the yard looking at stars

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Anon suspiciously knows a lot about the smell of assholes | /r/Greentext

Vo) 01:56 LTE1 .l 53% Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)01:16:53 No.63382162 How the f--- do people not smell like s---? I am not showering every god damn day f--- off. >go to sleep >sweat in my sleep wake up with my shirt covered in sweat 405 KB PNG >go on a couple brief walks >sweat and smell like s--- >take a s--- >eventually start smelling ass hole I am not doing f------ laundry and showers 18 times a week every time I sweat : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)01:17:59 No.63382176 >>63382162 (OP) # Imagine having such an easy life that you can just smell like s--- all day >>63382225 # : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)01:20:43 No.63382213 >>63382162 (OP) # Analysis of all the things wrong with this post >OP refuses to shower once every day >OP sleeps with his shirt on (???) >OP is likely doing a poor job of cleaning his a------ after defecating 41 KB JPG >OP is likely not using deodorant >OP refuses to do his laundry >OP lives such an isolated life that no one calls him out on all of this irl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-pj- QEPBI9&list=PLzow_a78mvFrQ-giNFT1 okEHltbwkMZtQ&index=1&ab_channel=Mr .BestTwitchClips [Open] >>63382292 #

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Anon is a trailblazer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)13:00:51 No.852959673 >be me, 12yo boy >middle school in Alabama in the early 90s >PE class is segregated by gender bc that's just how it was in that time and place >Male PE is all football, baseball, 67 KB PNG and basketball >suck at all those things and relentlessly tortured and bullied >ask coach if I can join girl PE >confusedface.png >says ok >girls accept me without judgment >they play handball, badminton, and tennis >am actually good at those things >actually have lots of fun >other Male weaklings follow my lead and join girl PE >actually make friends >mfw I am a trailblazer Thx girls for not bullying me. This is why I will never hate women as much as I hate other men

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Greentext Stories - Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

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O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)04:54:53 No.61990417 >>6199046 File: 1610045097614.jpg (50 KB, 750x711) ]>be me, 13 >really want to drive a car >parents wont let me ffw a few months >home alone for the first time in a while >jacking off >idea.png >go out to garage >look at ford focus, blood is pumping, c--- is hard >get in ford focus >hit the garage door button >turn the key >hit the gas VRO0000000OM >not in gear >woops >shift into gear VRRO00- CRASH >hit the house >mfw didnt put it in reverse >mfw did thousands of dollars of damage to family car >mfw

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