Notes:

Bert is a beautiful creature that defies physics and not always in a good way.

Oh, pro-tip from a pro-tanker.

Bert can hit you.

You are never safe, I've even landed shots through windows with him before.

Also, don't forget that Bert has a top speed of 72kph (44MpH).

"But Soup King, that's faster than most light tanks."

Yes. Yes It is.

And it's glorious just taking the speed boost power-up and doing donuts on the enemies cap within the first two minutes of the game.