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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Anonymous C 128 KB JPG 07/31/21(Sat) 10:53:56 No.154336324 >OH NOOO I HAVE A LOYAL SMOKING HOT WIFE WHO WANTS TO F--- ALL THE TIME, TWO CHILDREN, A BIG NICE HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS, AND A JOB THAT AFFORDS ME THESE THINGS AAAAHHH HELP ME why was american television like this in the 90s? : Anonymous That's the joke. 07/31/21(Sat) 10:54:42 No.154336353

Anonymous 03/23/25(Sun)03:30:40 No.80720063 >lie to sound interesting >pressed on lie >panic, block them instantly, and unfriend them anyone else? 6 KB JPG

Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 11:14:39 No.80711300 >be me >think "goonettes" are fake and woman "perverts" come no where close to male gooners >decide to read on what their fetishes and fantasies are >oh 4 KB PNG Is there a reason why they're like 20 times more f----- up and horny then male gooners because I might be a bit disgusted by foids now permanently

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Anon gives a solution | /r/Greentext

>tfw you can see your mom is getting older and older >tfw that crippling feeling when you know that one day you will lose her How do I cope? 48 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/23/18(Mon)14:31:48 No.47001025 >>47001005 (OP) # Kill yourself before she dies.

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Anon goes for it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/23/18(Sun)13:01:34 No.780607081 >be me >18, kissless virgin >last year of HS >have no hope of g----------- >only ever girlfriend turned out to 18 KB PNG be lesbian >on bus to school >cute 8.4/10 new girl gets on bus >she walks up to me and asks if she can sit next to me >holy_shit.png >nod and scoot over >she gets on her phone immediately >quick_make_conversation.wav >"hey you're new right?" >she looks up and says yeah >asks her name >she says Stephanie >introduces myself and cracks a few jokes with her >she laughs at them all >fuck_she's_cute.jpg >say f--- it and ask for her number >she gives it to me I did it /b/ros

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Anon fixes the electricity with a drug bust | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45657137 1 perccel ezelőtt •.. Anon Does Drug Bust >Be me, 14 at the time >Lights constantly flickering and PC randomly turning off >Call up electricity company >They supposedly fix the problem >It still happens >Mum jokes that the neighbour is probably growing cannabis and is tapping into our electricity supply >Neighbour has a big shed >I decide to climb over his fence and take a look inside >somuchweed.png >I take pictures with my phone >Come back home and tell my mummy >I call 101 (Non-emergency line) >Woman thinks I'm lying >Next day the police smash down his door and take all his weed away >He goes to jail and his kid gets taken away That's what you get for messing with my Minecraft experience. 155,5 kB PNG REPLY

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Anon reveals | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)07:31:48 No.63799777 >Revealed my power level by admitting that I didn't know that adults still have birthday parties. I thought that people singing for you at school was all birthdays 155 KB JPG can offer. >Revealed that I grew up weird because I thought birthday presents were a thing from movies because I never got one. I thought that you only got presents from grandparents at Christmas. >Revealed that l'm a weirdo cause my father doesn't even know the day I was born, and my mother keeps forgetting how old I am Any way to fix this? I don Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)07:40:53 No.63799853 >>63799777 (OP) Look anon, I won't say "There are people out there living in a condition ten times worse than you are" or "At least you got a roof over your head and food in your belly, many people can't even afford that", but yeah it sucks to be in your place. Maybe your mom and dad are too busy making the ends meet that they didn't have time for all that, but it doesn't mean they don't love you. Whenever these thoughts overshadows your judgement just remember there are bigger things to do in life than to contemplate on something that's already happened, try to focus on how to get your 50 KB JPG life together anon.

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Anon meets the new student | /r/Greentext

: i don't even f------ know 11/23/18(Fri)01:18:32 No.49441899 I'm very sorry for what you all are about to hear: >be 10yo me >be in 5th grade >new student walks inside the classroom 6 KB PNG >everybody notices how short, and ugly this kid looks >he is also wearing some kind of red Santa hat, despite it being March at the time >later at lunch, kids were calling him a goblin >then he starts yelling at the kids, and then we learn that he has a ridiculous accent, probably Irish, or British or some s--- >then one kid comes over, and calls him an elf >that's when he loses his s--- >he kicks the kid in the groin, and starts scratching his chest >with one swift punch, he knocks him out >holyfuck.jpg >the weird kid gets up, and starts stomping, and shouting at us >"i'm not a g-nelf, i'm not a g-noblin... i'm a g-nome, and you've been... GNOMED!"

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Anon Breaks a Promise | /r/Greentext

>>96970883 # >Have lifelong childhood best friend who is a girl >We swear 100% never to be boyfriend and girlfriend >Come 18 we're f------ like rabbits >Married her at 25. >>96983342 # Anonymous 11/22/17(Wed)15:10:37 No.9698334 >>96978978 # How does happiness feel anon? Care to share it with us?

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Anon shares his passion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)19:22:54 No.855145756 Wholesome stories with dads WERE GONNA DESTROY BULGARIA >be me >a few years ago >getting hours for drivers Ed with my dad ONCE AND FOR ALL >we've been silent the entire time because we don't talk much 487 KB JPG >out of the blue he asks what I'm interested in >start talking about sports, friends,etc. >"No Anon, what are you REALLY interested in?" >think for a minute >say history >my dad wasn't the smartest guy alive so he only knows past WW1 >asks what happened before WW1 >explain to him most European and American history after 1066 >never enjoyed myself more >dad actually paying attention and asking questions >we get home >says he wants to talk about history more and is happy to learn something at his age Love you dad.

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Anon has a good friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)23:01:50 No.63807024 aMC HD maxresdefault (2).jpg 84 KB JPG >>63804900 (OP) # >friend gets picked as team captain >picks me first even though the other team has a chance of picking a much better player

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Anon finally sees 4chan for what it is | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 774692608 25 min. ago > 10 years agoI was afraid to post here thinking you guys are all hackers and badass >now I realize you are all a bunch of f------ 5.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 4 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 774692704 24 min. ago >>774692608 (OP) >welcome home you gay bitch 1 REPLY

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Anon gets the vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)16:30:43 No.8551462 >be me >just got COVID vaccine >have sudden urge to purchase Microsoft Office™ available now for only $69.99 per year 5 KB JPG

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The same green text posted every day but it’s lower quality, keep it going | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23.04:54. No:68336816il >be me >20 Swalking around Brooklyn Enew to the aty >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top.of my lungs G.KB JPG >BADDA BING > some falliguy in a greasy tank lop yells from hls apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Fucking based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)21:57:49 No.855118156 I just learned of this guy last month. Seems really smart but apparently most people don't think so. Give me your honest reasons why you don't like this guy? > Ben Shapiro 26 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)21:58:17 No.855118182 >>855118156 (OP) # >jewish

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Greentext Stories - Anon gets an old lady killed | /r/Greentext

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Uploaded May 24, 2021 at 07:25AM EDT

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