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Greentext Stories - Anon is British | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 05/19/21(Wed)18:04:06 No.854835459 >be me >British >Finish my cauldron of tea and decide to have a cheeky wank >go into my room and enter my p--- registration number into pornbruv.uk >facial scan complete, login 26 KB JPG successfully >smashing.jpg >pull out my wanking permit just in case the coppers do a willy check >bloody hell it's 2 days expired >still have my shagging license though >decide to go find a fit bird to shag >head down to the pub and order a pint >start chatting up a bird there >she tells me to get bent >bit sloshed so I keep at it >she pulls out an unlicensed spoon and stabs me in the fanny >coppers come and take her away >turns out she had rubbed the serial number off of the spoon and there was no way Scotland Yard could use the weapon to track her down >fair enough, decide to walk back to my flat >hear "allahu akbar" and an explosion >die >pretty cheeky day overall

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