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File: 03eadab3f3d8cc943f8ac7319(..).jpg (47 KB, 700x591) O Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:54:46 No.859002996 >be me, 27, eternal virgin, social outcast >contemplate suicde >therapist tells me to get a dog >get a female golden retriever puppy >play with puppy, train puppy, get emotionally attached to dog >dog grows older, life is good >dog sleeps in my bed, we cuddle >sudden relization im basically in a relationship with my dog >begin to touch her private parts >dog takes a linking to it >end up f------ my dog >no longer suicidal >tell people online about it >get told to kill myself >sad degenerate noises

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext facial expression organism font happy

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Its not green, its crosspost, but there is a plot twist in responses at r/Finland | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/19(Thu)07:01:48 No.52191467 >>52189174 (OP) # In Finland we have this one sauna game called "Gollum" In Gollum one person goes under the sauna bench while other players sit on top of it. 29 KB JPG Then the Gollum proceeds to put his finger in someone's a------ and the other players who are sitting has to guess who has a finger up in their a------. Whoever guesses right, gets to be the next Gollum. >>52191478 # >>52191524 #

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Anon has daddy issues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)13:23:40 No.64575859 >go to bed in nothing but chastity Bruh zone cage Bruh >mom must of seen it by accident while I was sleeping >"we need to talk about something I saw last night" What am I in for jesus christ Bruh 97 KB JPG

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Anon never forgets | /r/Greentext

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Anon faps. | /r/Greentext

File: Pepe_feels_good.jpg (32 KB, 600x600) Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)02:10:01 No.859016202 >be me >fapping to p--- >realize that the woman might be someone's mother >l might've fapped to the mother of some random loser >suddenlychad.gif >mfw

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Pakistani anon makes some friends | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)19:30:16 No.859014896 >>859014999 >>859015032 Stupidest way you made a friend. >be me pakistani >at some random desi party >meet bengali dude >try to become friends with him >i like history so i try to come up with a fun fact about Bangladeshi >remember my grandfather participated in the Bangladeshi genocide >"um uh did you know my grandfather commited war crimes in bangladesh" >realize im a f------ retard >dude starts laughing >says based in response >both of us become good friends and hang out with each other

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anon is a chef | /r/Greentext

File: download.png (7 KB, 203x249) Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)09:41:25 No.859035373 [Reply] > be 11 years old me > taking a poop and it is really smelly > "umm but how much more smelly would it be if I age it" > waited until mommy was not home, took a s--- inside a big bottle. >i have heard milk is also smelly if you age it. > took some milk and poured it in > creativity started > putted in a pickle > added some honey > took a few rocks from the garden > added some salt and fish > after a few days it becomes really smelly and even though the bottle is closed you can smell it > my parents found the bottle > they beated my ass for doing so > 3 years later, I am still thinking about it every time I drink from a bottle Mfw I could have been a great milkshake chef if my parents were good

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Extremely Based, old man vibes | /r/Greentext

epper times you were based >minding my own business at home on a Tuesday >hear noise outside >look out the window >some high schoolers making a ruckus on the sidewalk in front of my lawn when they should be at school >open window >YOU DAMN KIDS BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS AND GET OFF MY LAWN >they curse me and flip me off but leave anyways

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Anon is a child of god | /r/Greentext

so what do you do besides Weightlifting anon? so what do you do besides Weig(...) 05/14/20(Thu)17:40:36 No.55569697 surely you must have other hobbies... right? 111 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/14/20(Thu)17:41:54 No.55569712 >>55569697 (OP) # >in my free time I abstain from m----------- 167 KB JPG >>55570802 # >>55571552 #

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Anon is sad to see Elves suffer | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)07:09:44 No.63346436 File: marcille.jpg (194 KB, 953x954) >live a long, happy life with your elven wife >she was 200 when you met her >she's 260 now >looks the same as the day you met >be human >die >elf wife suffers and mourns you for hundreds of years alone That's f------ why.

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Anon doesn't want a job | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/11/18(Fri)09:44:45 No.45312706 >Apply for NEETbux >NEETbux worker says no NEETbux until I apply for one job >ugh fine >walk to the McDick's right next to the NEETbux office >tell the roastie at the counter I want to apply for a job 413 KB PNG >roastie leaves for a minute and says the manager wants to meet me >manager comes out and takes me back to his office >puts in a DVD about McDick's and safety s--- >asks me if I have any questions >has me fill out some forms and s--- >ugh this is taking forever >manager calls roastie back to his office and tells her to take me up front and train me on the registers >WTE!? I didn't actually want a job >too much social anxiety to back out now Tomorrow will be my two week anniversary. A group of coworkers invited me out to a sports bar for wings last weekend. Those were the first new numbers I saved in my phone in years. It's actually nice having a little money coming in and somewhere l'm expected to be everyday. It's like I matter to the world again.

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Anon works at a pet shop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/28/21(Mon)23:56:02 No.3849472 >get job at pet shop >im grateful the owner gave a chance despite no experience >my job is to groom the dogs >on my first day i groom 2 dogs >owner tells me im too slow and that I should be able to groom 8 dogs, 1 dog per hour basically >she shows me how she does it, she gives them a pill to sedate them so they dont struggle >there are different dosages depending on the 28 KB JPG age and weight of the dog >i follow her instructions to the letter >4 of the dogs never wake up >she cusses at me and asks me how the f--- is she supposed to explain what happened >fires me on the spot, tells me I will probably get sued : Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)00:08:30 No.3849482 maybe you should apply at a pet cemetery next you might revive some >>3849746 # >>3849776 #

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Anon Shares The Secret Of Chads | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/18(Sat)08:34:51 No.46624719 >be me >25 year old "chad" >have basic hygiene (take showers everyday, brush teeth etc.) >Maintian my body through shaving, haircuts etc. 131 KB JPG >go to gym regularly, eat healthy and take care of my body >Dress decently >Treat women with respect and pursue them confidently >compliment them and make them feel special >get 8/10 gf and live happily It's that easy guys. Just don't look like a f------ slob and take care of yourself.

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Greentext Stories - Not the ending I expected ಠ_ಠ | /r/Greentext

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File: 03eadab3f3d8cc943f8ac7319(..).jpg (47 KB, 700x591) O Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:54:46 No.859002996 >be me, 27, eternal virgin, social outcast >contemplate suicde >therapist tells me to get a dog >get a female golden retriever puppy >play with puppy, train puppy, get emotionally attached to dog >dog grows older, life is good >dog sleeps in my bed, we cuddle >sudden relization im basically in a relationship with my dog >begin to touch her private parts >dog takes a linking to it >end up f------ my dog >no longer suicidal >tell people online about it >get told to kill myself >sad degenerate noises

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