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: Anonymous 08/14/21(Sat)17:17:18 No.2076401 >>2076276 # >Taliban busts into Miles' hotel >Miles is gone, having ascended to a higher plane of existence >they check around for clues about where he has gone >one of them searches the bathroom, lifts the toilet lid >they find a log larger than a football, impossible for any mere mortal to have passed through his colon >this is all that remains of Miles within our realm of existence

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon explains Joe Rogans guest folk stories | /r/Greentext

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Anon watches a youtube video | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)16:28:04 No.861112506 >be me >watching typical meme compilation on YouTube >a wild funny appeared >attempt to slap knee >miss and end up high fiving my testicles >mfw 38 KB JPG

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Anon is on the way to NEETdom | /r/Greentext

>be me >britbong >got ADHD symptoms but never fully tested >bored watching TV >ad for disabilities comes up >lady with ADHD comes up 6 KB JPG >w--.jpg >do some research >mfw ADHD is a disability in the UK >mfw when I can leave the NEET life and get free meth from the government I love this country

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Anon spends $10 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/18(Thu)08:02:15 No.44422418 >paid a h----- an extra $10 to shout "yamete onii- chan!!-" when i f----- her Best use of that $10 ever 88 KB JPG

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Anon meets Michael. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/04/13(Wed)23:37:55 No.504275002 >go to school with large tard population, we import them >for incoming tards, teachers get the inside scoop >friend's mom is teacher, tells him 17 KB JPG to avoid the one named Michael >he wears a helmet at all times, and can only grunt and say his own name, like a Pokemon >one day, strolling through the hall I see the tard parade on their way back to class >we had those old school metal trashcans like they used in the WWF, pic related >out of nowhere Michael raises on above his helmeted head and chirps gleefully "Michael!" >wranglers try to get him to stop >he gets a twinkle in his eye >"Michael!" >he brings the trashcan down like the hammer of God on the head of the disabled kid in the wheelchair, whom we called Hot Wheels >Hot Wheels begins to chimp out in his chair as garbage rains down on the other tards who begin honking and wailing >Michael is restrained by 4 adults, all the while with an oblivious smile on his face

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Anon tries to save the situation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)06:14:17 No.861136726 >be me >work with children, ages 7-10 >coworkers constantly tell me I do the best job out of everyone >love them, it's a lot of fun >when I talk to them I get down to their level to talk face to face, because they're 6 KB JPG small >one day one of their moms shows up >very short, must have been 5'0" or maybe even less >out of habit I get down to her level >she looks at me weird >l immediately realize and panic >pretend to untie and then tie my shoe again like an autist >her daughter didn't come back the next week or ever again

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Anon's teacher is a scumbag | /r/Greentext

File: cunteacher.jpg (51 KB, 625x418) EVERYONE HAS THEIR HAND UP BUT YOU? Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)03:20:24 No.861148362 >>981148459 >be me in middle school 12yo >be in last class of the day with a new teacher >start feeling hungry, dizzy, tired. >take out a dextrose tablet out of my pencil case >right as I put it in my mouth the teacher looks at me >teacher goes "anon you better not be eating in class" >I tell them have type 1 diabetes and I am just taking dextrose >"If you don't spit it out I'm failing you this year" >tell her I have a doctors note if she doesn't believe me >"spit it out" SIA MERI CALLS ON YOU ANYWAY >quickly chew the tablet and swallow it >she looks at me like I just called her slurs >"to the principal's office RIGHT NOW!" >go to principal and explain >he agrees with me and tells me the teacher probably didn't believe me >principal writes note to show to teacher I'm allowed to eat in class >go back to class and give teacher the paper >she just looks at it and motions her head in a "go sit down" way >class ends >"anon, you stay" >assume she wants to maybe apologize or something >"anon you have detention today" >excusemewtf.webp >"nobody eats anything in my class" >remind her again that I'm actually diabetic and that the principal (basically her f------ boss) has allowed me to eat >"no butts or you're staying tomorrow as well" >by this time I'm very angry >try to say something but she interrupts and tells me to sit down or detention for a week >sit down >"give me your candy as well" >tell her it's not candy and that I'm not giving anything to her >she grabs my pencil case and locks it in her desk >"I'm going to the teachers room and you're going to stay here and sit on your seat until I come back!" >bitch actually locks the classroom door >after like 10 minutes start feeling very dizzy again (being angry depletes sugars rapidly) >try to break open her desk >next thing I know is waking up in an ambulance with my mom and a nurse next to me >sugar crashed so hard I went into a coma >teacher got fired next day What was your "incredibly bitchy teacher who almost killed you in school" moment, /bl?

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Anon really is lonely | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/26/19(Thu)21:58:59 No.121597357 >Goes to prostitute >"Alright honey what do ya want? $50 to blow $100 for the night. $250 for a---, but ya gotta wear a rubbah" 40 KB JPG >l-I was wondering if you would come see a m- movie with me >"A movie? Like some kinky sex tape or somethin?" >N-no I wanted to know if you can come see Joker with me in theaters >"So you want me to suck ya c--- in the theater?" >N-no.just sit there and watch the movie with me I can still hear her laughing >>121604192 # >>121604678 #

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the amish truly are the smartest. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)21:15:43 No.2083123 >driving through Southwen USA >stop at gas station fill-up >people in a huge ass truck at the pump beside me start unloading out of it >all them of Amish >wut >driver comes out and he's just a regular dude >Amish had a designated non-Amish driver

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Waifu sleep therapy | /r/Greentext

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op receives an act of kindness in japan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)23:32:31 No.2083467 > be in tokyo with family > go out late, and end up getting stuck at random subway station 30 minutes away from where we actually needed to go > random japanese dude walks up to us and asks us in perfect english “are you guys lost? do you guys need any help?" > all of us obviously say yes > walks with us out of the station > end up talking to him and learn more about each other as we walk > he explains that he's lived in japan and another english speaking country (not coming to my head rn) and that he understands the confusion of the japanese subway. > takes us to where the taxis are located, and tells the taxi driver exactly where to go > thank him for his help > see him walk back to the station as we pull away i wonder how he's doing now. i miss him. he literally went out of his way to help us. :(

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Anon gets stuck in Family Guy | /r/Greentext

>read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >l can lucid dream 56 KB JPG >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say "I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say "I used to be President" I immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >l can't control them >l have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >l have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night I'm subjected to a hellscape of pop culture references and poop jokes

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Greentext Stories - miles transcends the physical plane | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 08/14/21(Sat)17:17:18 No.2076401 >>2076276 # >Taliban busts into Miles' hotel >Miles is gone, having ascended to a higher plane of existence >they check around for clues about where he has gone >one of them searches the bathroom, lifts the toilet lid >they find a log larger than a football, impossible for any mere mortal to have passed through his colon >this is all that remains of Miles within our realm of existence

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