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Adam @YSylon Me: [being water boarded] gross is this Dasani?

@dad_hard My wife doesn't want to instill her fear of spiders in our kids so she calmly reports them to me like some kinda mafia boss. "Babe, there's a situation near the sink. I need you to take care of it. No loose ends, I want proof when the job is done."

Ten @CreamyFoxGirls Feds got his ass let's go THE HOLY BIBLE + DOGANS THE HOLY BIBLE + c---- @cunny_tamariki - 19h As someone who dated an 11yo when I was 17 this is stupid as s--- Imao Show this thread 6:26 pm 11 Feb 25 3,102 Views 5:15 PM Feb 11, 2025 102.9K Views This Post from @cunny_tamariki has been withheld in all countries in response to a legal demand. Learn more 6:26 pm - 11 Feb 25 3,105 Views

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Account seems to be gone or has changed name.

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Still enthralled by the novelizations of the Austin Powers movies.

Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti Still enthralled by the novelizations of the Austin Powers movies. "I've gone the wrong shagging way," Austin thought to himself, groovily. Austin stopped the cart and attempted to turn around. However, Dr. Evil's dastardly corridor walls were too close together to make a U-turn. Austin had to think fast. He turned a little one way, then reversed a little, then turned, then reversed, on and on for minutes until the cart he was driving was perfectly wedged perpen- dicularly between the unsexy walls. "Yeah, baby!" said nobody, since this was not good. 4:35 PM · Aug 22, 2018 · Twitter Web Client

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When your drugged zebra finds the ONE tree on the Namibian plains, which also has a neck-height fork #fieldworkfail

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I have achieved a level of stress that has wrapped back around and become calm

JP @jpbrammer Thave achieved a level of stress that has wrapped back around and become calm T 9:46 PM 3/11/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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I'm in Microsoft Excel fighting for my fucking life

sultan @sultangelo I'm in Microsoft Excel fighting for my f------ life

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A heroic Twitter tale of a troll slayer in three acts

Rachel Vindman @natsechobbyist Come at me, Trolls. I'm not afraid #ConanSword #ArnoldShowedMeHowToPose TheAmishOne @ThatAmish1 - 23h You look like you drop common loot. O Rachel Vindman O @natsechobbyist · Aug 11 Come at me, Trolls. I'm not afraid #ConanSword #ArnoldShowedMeHowToPose 34 27 37 285 Rachel Vindman O 16.1K Tweets ... Rachel Vindman O @natsechobbyist You're blocked You can't follow or see @natsechobbyist's Tweets. Learn more

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Do you prefer versus or co-op shitting

Buttface ... @the_buttface Do you prefer versus or co-op s------- 6:23 PM - Aug 8, 2021 - Fenix 2

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Life Imitates Tweet

thirty year old woman yells at cloud @lolennui come on, man Zack Fox Wp The Washington Post O @washingtonpost @zackfox this how the photos be lookin in A QAnon-obsessed father thought his kids would destroy the world, so he killed them with a spear gun, FBI says headlines when a white man kills his entire family washingtonpost.com A QAnon-obsessed father thought his kids would destroy the world, so he killed them with 1:55 PM · Aug 12, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

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Every class has this guy who risks his future just to make us laugh.

Вayo ... @mister_ade5 Every class has this guy who risks his future just to make us laugh. 4:12 AM · Jul 24, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

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"White males bad"

"Archive":https://archive.is/aXGqU

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Professor Ivy

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the teen that’s gonna cancel me

The teen that's gonna cančel me Me

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+111

Twitter / X - Wise words from two mangaka

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Nox Lucis

Nox Lucis

Aug 22, 2021 at 04:35AM EDT

"Never read Twitter."
-Hirohiko Araki

The more I learn about the man, the more respect I feel.

+59

Armchair Psychologist

Armchair Psychologist

Aug 22, 2021 at 03:01PM EDT

>Never read twitter

as if this man wasnt Legendary enough already

I always say, unless you use it for memes or porn, social media and twatter is brain poison

+40

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