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: Anonymous 08/30/21(Mon)08:58:14 No.65188326 >have first ever g/f (yeah, yeah. gtfo normie) >has this thing where she likes to wear a hoodie at home and literally nothing else >like over her nude body, nothing underneath 12 KB JPG >and she likes to sit on the hardwood floor while watching anime >whatever, I think it's cute >few months later, after a chipotle lunch, something doesn't feel right to her >says she feels a pressure building up, and her belly is achy and bloated >suddenly, SSSHHHHHHHHQRQRQRQRQRQRQRPPLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLPPP!!! >like the sound of newborn hatchlings being mangled in a wood chipper coming out the back of her >she runs to the bathroom, leaving behind a hot, steamy, barely digested puddle of poo >she's locked herself in the bathroom, crying and apologising while I'm left using clorox wipes, because I don't know what else to use I don't want a g/f anymore. 4 Replies View Thread

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Our friend has grown the balls only to lose them just as fast | /r/Greentext

88 O Anonymous (ID: IVZUMVB)) 09/12/12(Wed)19:38:38 No.424844538 There is no heaven >walking home from school >see girl I like also walking home >grow the balls to walk up to her >say hey to her >"Hi" >never really talked to her >awkward silence >aks me if I want to burn with her >f--- yes >go to park >she pulls out an ounce of weed >f--- yes >smoke 3 grams >high af >she asks me if I want to kiss her Only Lavender Town >f--- yes >we kiss >grabs my d--- >f--- yes >starts giving me a b------ >f------ awesome >asks me to finger her >never fingered a girl >feelsgood.jpg >asks me to put a finger in >feelsbetter.jpg >ask for 3 finger >does so >asks for my whole hand >wut >still does so >asks for both of my hands >more wut >does so >"I need more" >"what else do you need I have both my hands in your p----" >she looks me in the eye >"I need about tree fiddy" >It was about that time when I realized I had both of my hands in the vagina of a 8 storie tall crustacean from the paleozoic era >that god damned loch ness monster had tricked me again pic not related

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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)13:18:53 No.862032253 >be me >straight guy >feels extension gay when horny >only when horny >even impulse bought a dildo once because horny >use it everyday 413 KB PNG >coom >not gay anymore I'm not gay, right /b/ros?

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Anon has an idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)14:58:27 No.65178676 >make chadfish account >put "incel and proud" in bio >all of a sudden women like incels would this work? 8 KB JPG

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Anon is a pirate. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/15(Sun)18:19:46 No.25929113 > Be 1521 > Plundering with me crew > Yahar.png > Hector calls "Git ovar here, eye see somthing ye might be likin" > Hobble me way ovar to Hector > "Looky 'ere" > BythelockerofDavyJones.png > It be a fuhckin' 4 barreled bunderbuss. > Cap'n Chester walks over, wonderin' what the fuss be about > Eye patch flies off > "GIMME THAT!" > Takes the abomination of a gun away from Hector > Cap'n fiddles with the powder bag > Accidentally pulls all 4 triggers > ScurveydogsFW half the ship was blown off and 4 of the crew were but a fine mist.

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Anon’s sister thinks he’s suicidal | /r/Greentext

>text my sister out of the blue asking if she wants to visit our grandmother since it's been a while >she phones my mom convinced Im suicidal because apparently people like visiting extended family before they off themselves >doesnt even text me back or call me, just my parents The absolute state of my life right now.

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Anon goes full glycemic | /r/Greentext

SNICKERS SNICKERD SNIGKERS SNICKERS SNIGKE D DI D SNICKERS MECOCILAE M WECHOCL n team Yu E CHIE S SNICKER MLE DOCKS C . TUER LansK CHOCOLATE-PEAMUTSCARANE s GUEPAA. SNICKERS CaniyWarchouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold BNIBKERS

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anon gets his mom's recommendin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)02:41:30 No.65173498 >be f------ me >mom tells me about black mirror and recommends one episode >keeps talking about it and decide to watch it so she shuts the hell up >its about some coomer that gets 38 KB JPG blackmailed because he watched loli p--- >tell her it was cool >tells me it reminded her of me Anons what the f--- did she mean by that? What the f--- does she know?

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)19:41:24 No.65181098 >cute girl asks for my number >walk away without saying anything ITS F------ OVER. ITS. F------. OVER. TRULY THE 719 KB PNG MOST AUTISTIC F----- IN THIS WORLD. View Thread

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Anon Goes For the Record | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat)23:57:07 No.65173592 >goes on vacation for week >Doesn't s--- once >Gets home >Still doesn't s--- I'm literally on a roll here. Let's see how long I can keep this up. 18 KB JPG Pic unrelated

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Anons are just pretending | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)21:19:38 No.64234583 Imagine if everyone else other than you on this board is actually a normie in real life and they were just playing along with the r9k Bdamy stock photo culture >what are you doing anon? >oh it's just this funny internet 128 KB JPG meme where we pretend to be virgins haha. >what? Why would you do that? >its just funny. We make fun of each other but we all know we are all just lying >look at this guy! Haha! He's saying he's 25 year old kissless virgin? >What? Does that kind of person even exist? >of course not. They are just saying it as a meme. here let me reply to him >'same. I am 5'6 and ugly. It's over for me. I cant even afford plastic surgery." >Anon just come to the bed with me >yea yea. after just one more post lol

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Anon thinks evolution failed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)17:01:39 No.862040639 >be me >ram >tryna mate so gotta assert my dominance >this usually involves bashing my face into competing male rams on >the side of a f------ cliff >bunch of fine ass ram biddys 11 KB JPG watchin >winnertakeall.mp4 >theres no rules to this s--- >you be squarin up one dude and some d--- just side swipes you in the knees >rams just getting yeeted off this cliff until only I remain iamthealpharam.jpeg >battered and broken I go to collect my prizes butwaittheresmore.rip >some new beta says 1v1 me bro wherewereyouonthecliffmelee.bitch >hosed but I gotta accept >we bash our skulls together with enough force to kill a grown man >just keep smashing brain buckets like this until I eventually tap >beta cucks me out of my harem >they are only fertile two days a year how the f--- has evolution not wiped this species out of existence?

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See You Later, Virgins | /r/Greentext

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Greentext Stories - Anon doesn't want a gf anymore | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 08/30/21(Mon)08:58:14 No.65188326 >have first ever g/f (yeah, yeah. gtfo normie) >has this thing where she likes to wear a hoodie at home and literally nothing else >like over her nude body, nothing underneath 12 KB JPG >and she likes to sit on the hardwood floor while watching anime >whatever, I think it's cute >few months later, after a chipotle lunch, something doesn't feel right to her >says she feels a pressure building up, and her belly is achy and bloated >suddenly, SSSHHHHHHHHQRQRQRQRQRQRQRPPLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLPPP!!! >like the sound of newborn hatchlings being mangled in a wood chipper coming out the back of her >she runs to the bathroom, leaving behind a hot, steamy, barely digested puddle of poo >she's locked herself in the bathroom, crying and apologising while I'm left using clorox wipes, because I don't know what else to use I don't want a g/f anymore. 4 Replies View Thread

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