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>>63376185 >>63376305 Story time f------ >be me, 6yo in 1st grade >routine medical checkup >doctor is a 4Oyo milf, like pic related 23 KB JPG >... >"okay anon, lets check your weiner" >"pull down the foreskin" >WHAT?? >I had no idea foreskin was retractable since my cooming days were yet to come >she tells me to clean it >get home and try it >do it a few more times >feelsgoodman.jpeg >mfw it's actually m----------- >she willfully taught me to j------- and observed me in doing it >my first ever (and only) sexual experience later, virgins.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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fat anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

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Anon feeds the homeless | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Do most homeless people deserv(...) 03/18/21(Thu)00:40:17 No.62799681 >just today >see two homeless people on my walk from train to uni >one man one woman, theyre fairly far apart from each other >ive been feeling kind of dogshit lately but seeing them gives me a brief shift in perspective 33 KB JPG >when i go get my lunch buy two on sale pre packaged sandwiches >go to woman first, awkward intro and offer her sandwich "Oh sorry, i dont eat tuna." >oh, okay, sorry bye >give the man both sandwiches, hes very thankful >she saw >can feel her eyes burning into the back of my head If she'd said she waa allergic id understand but she "just doesnt eat it". Imagine having high standards when you have literally nothing

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10 Crack Commandments | /r/Greentext

Tyrese loves AMD >Be me >380lb member of the PC Master Race >have mtn dew colored coolant in my My Little Pony themed PC case >nvidia graphics card, F--- AMD chads >Whoremummy has a new chocolate-face daddy named Tyrese >Tyrese only wears Timbs and huge white 61 KB JPG T-shirts with red bandanas >everything he owns is red, he even has a red handkerchief tied to his pistol. > He must be an AMD fanboy >REEEEEEEEEEE.exe >l prepare for battle by reading a footnotes version of The Art of War by Sun Tzu. >"All warfare is based on deception" >A few weeks of training go by, and Tyrese has his AMD friends at my house >Bitchmummy and her work friends are all dancing on the coffee tables while Tyrese and his chadsquad throw money at them >F------ idiots dont even care that they can turn that money in for Good Boy Points. Wasteful savages >l emerge from the basement dressed like them, size 8X white tee, red bandana, and a pair of Osiris sneakers >I try talking in their primitive AMD tongue >"What is good my n------? I too enjoy premium products like the AMD Radeon line." >They stare in stunned silence as I saunter over to the big white brick I assume to be Tyreses PC tower >l suddenly whip out my Nippon steel katana and grab the crunchy white brick, pressing the blades point against its wrapping >All of the AMD losers pull out their pistols and aim them at my head. >"What the f--- is you doin' Blood?" they scream at me >"Behold, AMD f------, as a member of the TRUE master race shows you the power of an nvidia 2080titan!!!!!" >As soon as I say the word "master race" they rush me and start stomping my head into the floor >Wake up in the ICU >The doctor tells me that they shot me 13 times in the chest, but when I voided my bowels, I produced a nerve gas similar to Zyklon B >I remember a line from Art of War >"In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity" >MFW when my body is a better warrior than I am

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The Ace of Based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)21:56:42 No.65286000 >be me >unmotivated depressed f----- >post once in a while on my insta just to keep a small feeling of belonging >usually post my favorite anime screencaps, rick and morty quotes, my marvel theories, just common interest stuff >by some miracle of god my crush followed me back when I first started my account and followed 53 KB JPG her >she sometimes sees my stories >start posting romantic animes and crush sees my stories about them >realize i can make her fall in love with me if she sees how romantic I am >she sees all my stories >motivated for the first time in my life >decide to man up and ask her out on insta >she says "sorry you make me cringe" >completely f------ destroyed >literally would rather she told me i was ugly or something It's never going to end anons. The loneliness has become me

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Anon has a message for humanity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)11:59:29 No.149718446 The year is 2025. The First Astronauts have landed on Mars. They find a cave with a human skeleton. And 4 words written on the wall. What are the 4 words? chrome_oYcMyiZ9fU.png 692 KB PNG wat do : Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)12:00:08 No.149718468 sneed's feed and seed

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Anon has figured it out | /r/Greentext

File: qKYVUvP6_400x400.jpg (22 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)23:28:08 No.862554001 ► >Be me, live in a s------- 3rd world country >Not attractive whatsoever >The only reason girls like to hangout with me is because l'm funny >I tried everything in my capacity to attract women, but I failed miserably >Stopped chasing women and started getting serious about life >Go into debt and start a business >BusinesslsBooming.exe >Buy an expensive car because yolo >Go to a cafe to chill with friends >Eye this 9/10 chick, but she won't even look at me >SadNoises.exe >Come out of the cafe and unlock my car >She comes outside at the same time, spots the car and tries to make communication >Say "Sorry, but I don't do gold diggers!" >Her face turns into sadness mixed with rage >mfw it proves time and time that money is everything, and looks don't matter because money is power

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Anon defends himself against social interaction | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)00:25:10 No.549 >get request to join game >close game >log out of steam >shut down computer >turm off circuit breaker >hide under the bed

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Anon describes Osama Bin Laden | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)14:56:42 No.11268247 14pdzcobcfk51.jpg 163 KB JPG >Be dangerous Islamic terrorist >Most wanted man on the planet >American government topples various regimes just to find you >Turns out he was he was hiding in a cave in an unaffiliated country, playing vidya and watching anime >Mfw he probably shitposted on this website

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Anon falls asleep | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me 62 KB JPG

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Anon has $1,000,000 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)19:42:58 No.862571579 >was lurking on /b/ when i was a teenager >probably 2008 >see an image of Yotsuba Koiwai holding a sign saying $1,000,000 internet dollars or some s--- >save because i think its a funny reaction image to post in response to people >one of the comments mention unpacking it with winrar >mfw i didnt even know you could unpack images with winrar >i do so and its an archive filled with CP > i freak out delete the file >delete my browser history and cookies >Wait for FBI to come and shoot me

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Anon vents while another anon can hear his cat snoring | /r/Greentext

File: image 10.jpg (442 KB, 853x855) Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)01:40:58 No.65276342 [Reply] >>65276369 >>65276379 >be me, baby raging after a string of bad games >anger clouding judgement 50% >friend says "you should uninstall so bad luluz" > 200% anger >deafen >throw chair outside > no longer angry >happy pic related Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)01:45:16 No.65276369 >>65276342 (OP) I can hear my cat snoring as she sleeps.

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Anon has a message. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)19:45:41 No.65279038 [Reply] >>65279156 >>65279165 >Always felt insecure about my penis size >Always looked smaller than the ones in p--- >Say f--- it and actually measure it >7.1 inches >far bove average for my country >Feeld good man Don't let p--- corrupt your brains bros Guys, everything will be great.

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Greentext Stories - Anon's first sexual experience | /r/Greentext

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>>63376185 >>63376305 Story time f------ >be me, 6yo in 1st grade >routine medical checkup >doctor is a 4Oyo milf, like pic related 23 KB JPG >... >"okay anon, lets check your weiner" >"pull down the foreskin" >WHAT?? >I had no idea foreskin was retractable since my cooming days were yet to come >she tells me to clean it >get home and try it >do it a few more times >feelsgoodman.jpeg >mfw it's actually m----------- >she willfully taught me to j------- and observed me in doing it >my first ever (and only) sexual experience later, virgins.

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