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: Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)20:22:48 No.804713633 >be me >sick and bad mood >make bowl of fresh warm rice >food >feel better >thank u rice 58 KB PNG 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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I'm tired Markiplier - 6.5M views • 10 days ago 20240322_214300.png 324 KB PNG >I GOTTA PLAY VIDEO GAMES ONCE A WEEK AND MAKE MILLIONS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH I'M GOING INSANE 6:55

File: IMG_1723.jpg (89 KB, 950x950) > after a while he answers less and less > buys a phone that only has calls on it Miss my friend Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)10:29:50 No.32338271 >>32340765 >>32340815 >>32340988 >>32340998 > be me > move to a new city and switch schools just before 4th grade > thissucks.png > first day of class > sit next to some random dude > teacher starts roll call > calls his name just before mine >mfw we become friends >mfw we stayed friends since then up to the end of hs >mfw he's one of mine if not my best friend > 11th grade starts > becomes extremely religious (this happened over the course of HS) > decides to leave school and become completely religious > sad to see him go but keep in contact cuz I love my friend > goes to a monastery to be completely isolated > loose contact as he's completely obsessed with religion and scripture and cannot talk about anything else and also cannot accept nor hear any opinion other than the one his religious sect deems right (we're both religious) > last time we talked felt like talking to a stranger, completely different then my old friend >mfw I lost a friend just like that > ffs today > be bored at work > decide to read our old chats > makes me tear up I miss you bro How do you cope with this? He was such a good friend and it still hurts

: Anonymous 03/02/24(Sat) 13:53:30 No.196821808 >when the media literacy kicks and the giant man-eating insects are actually the good guys 69 KB JPG

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Anon shows great empathy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/09/18(Tue)10:18:12 No.48594932 >doorbell rings >its a young girl >shes barefoot >she's just staring at me in silence >"what? what do you want?" >she walks away 42 KB PNG What the F--- was that about. Should I be worried? 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 10/09/18(Tue)10:28:53 No.48595087 >"what? what do you want?" why would you say that to a poor clearly abused little girl, have you no heart? 34 KB JPG >>48595095 # : Anonymous 10/09/18(Tue)10:29:39 No.48595095 >>48595087 # Right? Should have grabbed her and show her what real abuse look like, the f------ crybaby.

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Anon and a warm apple pie | /r/Greentext

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Anon is racist | /r/Greentext

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Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/21(Fri)17:41:07 No.65861496 >unintentionally did nofap for a week while vacationing at my parents place >actually jerked off because I was legitimately horny, not bored >m----------- now feels like it 148 KB JPG did when I was a kid This nofap stuff might not be totally useless after all..

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Anon gets cucked by an old friend | /r/Greentext

File: d90.jpg (75 KB, 482x427) I Anonymous 10/22/21(Fri)14:35:24 No.865371560 >be me a long time ago, loser teenager >like this girl, but too much of a coward to ask her out >she would never want to be with me, I'm into nerdy s--- like sci-fi >l also have confidence issues because I get bullied in school >one day, this random chad dude comes to town >really interested in me and my life >confronts the bullies and manages to convince the girl to go to a school dance with me >literally the same night as the dance he leaves the town and I never see him again >ffw many years >get rich selling sci-fi books >hire one of the bullies as my personal assistant to rub my success on his face >marry the same girl and have two kids, with another one on the way >when we find out it's a boy, decide to call him after that chad dude >as he grows up, I see he looks exactly like the man he was named after >mfw I realize the chad dude probably never left and my wife had been f------ him for decades without me knowing >mfw I'm George McFly, from 1985's---- movie "Back to the Future"

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Anon tells a cutting joke | /r/Greentext

| File: 1439972638664.png (1.23 MB, 912x905) O Anonymous 05/17/16(Tue)21:54:45 No.28630210 [Reply] >go get haircut >qt hairdresser asks me what kind of cut I want >I tell her one across my wrists will be fine and laugh >she starts crying and runs to the back of the shop why don't normies have any sense of humor? + 3 replies omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 05/17/16(Tue)22:53:57 No.28631069 >>28630210 (OP) 10/10 op, hope she killed herself kek

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anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/23/21(Sat)11:34:58 No.65866865 >be me >get a match on tinder with 8/10 qt >goes on a date with her >smalltalk.mp3 >she asks what is my main goal in life >l answer : " The complete destruction of the state of Israel " 33 KB JPG >doesn't elaborate >leaves >go home and fap to some /h/ s---

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Anon somehow... idk? I'm glad he's happy | /r/Greentext

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Top-tier Late Night comedy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/19(Mon)14:00:05 No.120427931 >"Trump being President is like a SQUIRREL riding a skateboard." *image of squirrel photoshopped onto skateboard appears, audience laughs* >"It's entertaining for a few minutes, but then you start to wonder how the F--- it got there!" 48 KB JPG *audience explodes into laughter and applause* *Oliver turns to image of squirrel* >"That's not a good way to find nuts, Chirpy. Get a real job, you're parents are worried!" *camera cuts to man in audience wearing a squirrel costume and holding a skateboard as he gives Oliver the middle finger and walks off, audience gives standing ovation*

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Anon is in a movie | /r/Greentext

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Never ever make friends at work | /r/Greentext

1• #766588468 4/21/18, 11:52 PM Just got fired from my job of 5 years. > meet new guy, seems pretty cool > eventually learn he's into memes so we share a few > a couple weeks ago I share with him a moonman song > "I'm killing n------, I'm killing n------ (Please stop)" > he laughs > next day after the weekend i find out he reported me to our boss > he's black > tells me to get my s--- and leave

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Anon reads his life’s terms and conditions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21 (Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF

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Greentext Stories - Anon likes rice | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)20:22:48 No.804713633 >be me >sick and bad mood >make bowl of fresh warm rice >food >feel better >thank u rice 58 KB PNG 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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