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Greentext Stories - Gollum mogs Tolkien | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)19:32:57 No.159905858 "Have you watched The Lord of The Rings, man? Yeah? If you remember, there's this little dude, Gollum, he's a f-----' genius, man. Eats nothing but raw meat, fish; dude's got his paleo diet down to an art, man. Bear-crawls everywhere, always swimming, rock- climbing; dude's athletic as f---. He should not look as scrawny as he does, he should be one scary- looking m-----------, all muscle. No offense to Tolkien, but he doesn't know s--- about fitness. I've started eating live fish and bear crawling everywhere, and I gotta tell ya I feel incredible; best shape l've ever been in. I'm telling you, man, Gollum's like a 174 KB JPG Hobbit chimpanzee."

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