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: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)23:05:04 No.869204526 >Be me >28yo male nurse >receive elderly patient "Fred [Redacted]" >have to take his temp with rectal thermometer 128 KB JPG >Fred is clearly uncomfortable and awkward about the process >looks like he wants to knock my lights out when I ask him to disrobe >l insert the thermometer and wait for it to read >awkwardsilence.mp3 >try to lighten the mood >"Infrared thermometer? More like in-Fred thermometer!" >crickets >wait through the longest 8 seconds of my life >thermometer beeps >temp is normal >don't say another word to each other and I leave so doc can see him >that is possibly the most autistic thing I've ever done at this practice

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon tries to mess with a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/1 )22:19:21 No.41166713 >arguing with coworker >accidentally call a coworker a soyboy >he asks what it is but try to shrug it off >boss overhears and makes me 54 KB JPG explain to everyone >"well, soy has a lot of estrogen in it, so when you drink a lot of soy milk it makes you weak and effeminate and-" >soyboy: "Well I see you must've been drinking a lot of soy!" >everyone laughs at me >try to explain I'm not a soyboy but no one listens >tfw my nickname at work is now "soyboy"

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Anon never tips a pizza guy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/21(Fri)08:18:12 No.869214536 >Never tip pizza guy. >They eventually start hinting at a tip at the door "haha jus tryna get those tips man" >They eventually start putting this on your boxes, or if they're feeling extra cheeky attach a job Domino's 2 TOWARD The Delery Charge lte ZA NOW YOU FRE drtvee Ples t drtver ter thle awes ervice yeur ER ANY NE PAEZZ e 227 КВ PNG application to it >Continue not tipping >They deliver your pizza cold and late, or shake up your soda or eat one of your wings/garlic breads or something >Complain >Get free pizza for complaining >repeat >picturing the wagecuck seething makes the pizza all the better Post other epoch lifehacks and money saving tips ITT

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Anon plays vidya | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)16:18:57 No.66688571 >tfw bad at ALL fps games no matter how much i practice or try, constantly having a negative KDR >some people are just born genetically good at them and don't even have to try >only hobby is video games and i'm 88 KB JPG not even good at them 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Jumping the Q | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)11:30:37 No.66683295 >you walk up to podium >american national anthem is playing in the background >ex-president biden is hanging in a noose in the back room >president trump walks up to you >best american award >take it 38 KB JPG >start drinking soda and eating pizza in front of everyone >loud burps and belches accommodated by occasional farts >suddenly in the crowd you hear shooting >everyone has their guns in the air >you see a little boy running up to you with an ar- 15 >lift him up in the air and start singing kumbaya >american national anthem now blaring >everything is shaking >everyone is singing >everyone is shooting >in the background you see the press coming up but you shoot them >you hear gunshots from nearby schools, but dont care because its normal >GOD BLESS AMERICA >you gain 45 pounds that day >go home and j-------

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Anon is a weirdo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/21(Fri)08:34:12 No.869215163 >had cousin (f14) sleep over my family's house >fell asleep watching movies >woke up with a weird feeling on my d--- >front of my shorts were pulled 59 KB JPG down and my d--- was out >cousin and my little sister were holding the tip of my foreskin open and looking at it with a flashlight >realize I am awake and they run to my sister's room >don't know w-- just happened >put my d--- away and go back to sleep >try and confront them about it next day >they play it off like I dreamt it and that I am the gross one for bringing it up >they tell my parents >I get in trouble for trying to explain what happened >parents think I am a sexual weirdo that wants to f--- my sister/cousin >still brought up as a joke to this day 20+ years later I hate it

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Anon takes shit in the office | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)14:40:16 No.869162489 >be me about 15 minutes ago 7. >need a s--- before 9am shift starts >it's 8:30, so no one around in the office 78 KB JPG >sit on toilet and unleash beer s---- from night before (it's Christmas f--- you) >suddenly hear door open >fuckfuckfuck why is someone here >they can obviously smell what I'm cooking >hear slow footsteps go towards other stall and stifled laughter >knock on stall door >"everything okay in there?" >lI'm startled, and accidentally let loose a wet, disgusting, prolonged fart for no less than 2-3 seconds. >silence >hear shuffling feet and door close Am I f-----? It's probably only me and him here at the office right now. I've been in here since it happened and I'm too scared to confront him. What do bros.

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Anon isn't pleased with the current state. | /r/Greentext

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10 Seconds to be as millennial as possible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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Anon faces a dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)22:52:53 No.64819243 >can't go into the gym because I'm not vaxxed wat do bros? I want to get swole. 61 KB JPG 52 Replies / 12 Images View Thread

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Anons life is rigged. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG

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Anon sides with Palestine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 2JUSCV3U ) H 05/12/21(Wed)08:05:57 No.321166552 >>321166198 (OP) # I went to a arab store and ordered a kebab. I said: You heard on the news how the goddamn alyahadi Israelis are killing palestinian children. I get to cashier. Cashier says: Dont worry you dont have to pay its a gift. I go to Jew owned store and say: You heard what those terrorist palestinians are doing to israeli children? I go to cashier and cashier says: That would be 12.35€. I made the decision, i side with 50 KB JPG palestine. >>321167077 # >>321167702 # >>321170047 # >>321170108 #

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Memes of the future are funny | /r/Greentext

>Be me, old f----- >Year 2080 >Grandkids come in >"Grandad look at this funny meme" >Proceeds to show me a glowing tesseract that sucks me in and makes me feel like l've just been imprisoned in a nightmarish hellscape for 10,000 years >falling through an endless tunnel of razorblades >bleeding out of every orifice >Ohgodmakeitstop >Ear-splitting noise and red light flashes before my eyes >l snap back to reality covered in sweat and vomit on the floor >"How funny is that Grandad Imaooo" >Mfw

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Greentext Stories - Anon is a Nurse. | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)23:05:04 No.869204526 >Be me >28yo male nurse >receive elderly patient "Fred [Redacted]" >have to take his temp with rectal thermometer 128 KB JPG >Fred is clearly uncomfortable and awkward about the process >looks like he wants to knock my lights out when I ask him to disrobe >l insert the thermometer and wait for it to read >awkwardsilence.mp3 >try to lighten the mood >"Infrared thermometer? More like in-Fred thermometer!" >crickets >wait through the longest 8 seconds of my life >thermometer beeps >temp is normal >don't say another word to each other and I leave so doc can see him >that is possibly the most autistic thing I've ever done at this practice

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