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1• #769367220 5/22/18, 4:30 PM >be me >american >go to school >don't get shot, because gun violence in america is very exaggerated by the media >go home >shoot myself 1 REPLY 2 #769367427 5/22/18 4:32 PM >>769367220 OP >Suicide is then reported in gun death statistics, without clarification, used to exaggerate gun violence by media It all comes full cycle

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon gets a tip. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/19(Mon)03:44:07 No.1697183 >be me >Uber driver >mfw I receive a tip >remember etiquette from Reddit 66 KB PNG >passenger is already gone >say it to myself Thank you for the tip, kind stranger

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Anon guessed it almost right | /r/Greentext

>went to a middle class elementary school >about 500 white kids and 1 black kid in the entire school >one day there was an announcement a little girl's bike got stolen >even as an 11 year old I thought to myself "it was probably the black kid" >a week later we found out it wasn't the black kid >it was the black kid's dad

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Anon is an evolutionary failure | /r/Greentext

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anon meets an r/pcmr user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)10:46:10 No.46196821 >be walking through town center >come across a father and his teen daughter having an argument >"Dad i dont want a f------ computer to game on, im getting a Xbox!" 42 KB JPG >"But computers are so much better! Arte you f------ dumb, im not letting you get an xbox!" >she turns away from him >father lets out a primal roar and tears off his trousers to reveal a 24 inch overclocked c--- with a GTX 1070 inserted into his b------- >he charges at his daughter and spears her up the ass >she melts into cooling fluid and spunk and drains back into his balls >Fathers balls swell to reveal their LED aesthetics >father turns to an onlooking woman who is quivvering and soaking >rams his overcock into her p---- >unloads his daughter into her >after 5 seconds woman gives birth to a teenage boy >he stands up >"hey dad can you help me build my PC please?" >father hugs him while sobbing with joy f------ hate PC master racers

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Anon lives that euro life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)15:25:46 No.869402369 >be me >Have mini heart attack >Emergency vehicle comes for me >Hospital takes care of me >Go home >No bill cause not American 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)15:31:22 No.869402634 >>869402369 (OP) # You fat f---

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Anon likes how meat tastes. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 3wilSOp3 ) 12/27/21(Mon)19:17:47 No.353834041 >>353832682 # >be white person >be able to afford good cuts of meat >use limited amounts of seasoning because the food itself tastes good >be n----- >can only afford the cheapest cuts of meat byproducts there are >drench it in spices so you can't taste the hog anus

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Anon enjoys chirstmas | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 869371138 > Be me, alone on Christmas > Hungry, go out for food > Go to local Chinese restaurant because they are the only ones open > Walk in and sit down, restaurant is entirely empty but I hear noise in the back > Owner walks up and greets me in broken English > "Hello, see you on holiday, thank you for joining us" > Owner's entire extended family comes out from kitchen area > Start moving tables around and bringing out dishes of food > They set up an entire feast > Genuinely enjoy the food and company even though they all speak in Chinese and I can't understand them MAS > After eating, I help the family put the restaurant back to normal > I ask the owner how much I owe him for the meal > "You owe us nothing, thank you for joining us, Merry Christmas" > Leave and go home with a smile on my face, still not quite sure what happened Thank you, random Chinese restaurant, you guys made me have an actual nice Christmas for the first time in many years! 9 REPLIES

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A girl in Anons class pisses off all the other girls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)15:12:38 No.869420178 >be me in high school >Like 12 or 13 years ago but still remember this clear as day >In biology class and somehow the topic of blood diamonds come up and the fake rarity of diamonds >The girl sitting next to me starts saying how pointless and horrible it is for women to 28 KB JPG expect their men to drop so much money on something that comes from slavery, isn't even rare and is especially pointless >The rest of the girls in the class start lashing out at her, she then says >"C'mon ladies this is ridiculous, do you love your man or his money?" >All the girls got quiet and there was an awkward silence for like 30 seconds before the teacher changed the subject and went back to normal class discussions I still think about this, I still see that girl sometimes and she's still really cool, one of the few women I actually have alot of respect for

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Anon pisses himself | /r/Greentext

No.738861551 07/14/17(Fri)19:05:19 mcgrbr.gif GIF 1.9 MiB 290x162 I got a story about this >be 12 >6th grade >really need to piss >excuse myself from band class >rush to bathroom >It's all the way on the other side of the school >discreetly holding my d--- closed as I do >arrive >decide to kick down stall door like I'm in the movies >it's f------ occupied >kid s------- frog-style with both feet on the toilet seat >watch his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle >the scare causes me to piss myself >mfw

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Anon saved his dad | /r/Greentext

00000 AT&T ? 1:35 PM 38% boards.4chan.org Вoard /fit/ - Fitness v Settings Home ALRIGHT /FIT/ - THIS IS WHAT WE LIFT FOR WHAT THE F--- >visit dad 50 KB JPG >asks me to buy a christmas tree >we go buy a nice one >carry it around like a slave >mom is happy >feelsgoodman >i lift it into the house >my dad says hes not feeling well >COLLAPSES >W-- >mom panics >dad just laying there knocked out >we put him in a safe position quickly >my heart is racing >i decide to LIFT him up and carry him to the couch >mom calls 911 >im panicking too >figure that the hospital is not so far away >LIFT him back up and carry him into car >mom is screaming at me but i cant hear s--- >race to hospital >LIFT him out of the car and carry him into ER >scream around like an autist >mfw they told me he had a stroke and probably would have died if it wasnt for my lifts

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Anon has Difficulty Adjusting to Amputation | /r/Greentext

Himages.jpg (5 KB, 224x225) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)07:37:24 No.66732870 >>66732901 >>66733149 >>66733189 >>66733212 >>66733233 >Was in a bad wreck about a year ago, mangled my right leg and arm, doctors were able to save the leg, but my right arm was amputated above the elbow >Only been out of the hospital for the past month after spending so long recovering and releaming how to exist without my dominant hand >l am able to do almost everything for myself, am living with my parents while l'adjust >The one thing I cannot do is masturbate >Of course I am able to j------- with my left hand, but I can't do it to competition. >Before the accident I was masturbating like 3 or 4 times a day, so I got used to needing a fast death-grip to c--, something I haven't been able to recreate with my left hand >In desperation ordered a fleshlight, but when the package came my Mom opened it before I got to it and threw it out, yelling at me for ordering "such a disgusting thing" >Literally haven't cummed since the accident, am starting to go a little stir-crazy, horny all the time, giving myself blue balls every other day as I attempt to j------- with my left hand but can't c-- I wish prostitution was legal in my country

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Anon sharts every morning | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)17:50:17 No.66734510 >Be wage cuck >Have IBS >Every morning have really bad gas >Have boss that never helps with work and is always late >Go onto his office every morning 168 KB PNG before he come into work >Make it look like l'm just taking out the trash Gotta cover my tracks >Unleash my assholes death breath in his office every morning >MFW my boss is convinced he has a sewage leak in his office It's the small things in life that keep you going 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Greentext Stories - It goes on forever | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

1• #769367220 5/22/18, 4:30 PM >be me >american >go to school >don't get shot, because gun violence in america is very exaggerated by the media >go home >shoot myself 1 REPLY 2 #769367427 5/22/18 4:32 PM >>769367220 OP >Suicide is then reported in gun death statistics, without clarification, used to exaggerate gun violence by media It all comes full cycle

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