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Anonymous 08/31/09(Mon)19:55:41 No.156935759 Evening /bl, I come to you tonight to share you a tale A tale of triumph A tale of win And most of all proof that the almighty hates women. Rest assure there wil be no trouble in mah neighbourhood, no moving to bel air, or telling any taxi drivers I will be smelling them later. Here's where its at, about 8 months ago, January to be exact, I went out to the good guys (you know what I mean Ausfags) and got myself a brand new handy cam, im sitting at home by myself trying to work the f----- out, all of a sudden there's a knock at the door, and who else is it, but my ex, bawwwing her eyes out, playing the sympathy card hard, so l let her in (big mistake), im not fond of her and we wernt on good terms but she explains to me that she thinks she pregnant cause the c---------- and her h----erectus boyfriend are both as stupid as one another. Anonymous 08/31/09(Mon)19:58:15 No.156936269 She being 17, explains she can't go to her rents nor any of her friends due to ultimate shame and harsh ridicule that would follow (also not telling her boyfriend cause he'd f--- off on her (as a real man would), so as I don't associate with her friends or family she explains I am her only hope of getting help, at first I was hoping she would ask me to punch her in the stomach, but she wants me to take her to a clinic, posing as her 18yr old brother, being desperate she offers to do anything. so0o as any self respecting gentleman I reply with "blow me" and in the true cumdumping spirit, she does, and though I admit it was nothing special, it wasn't bad either, she cleans herself up and looks at me and says she missed that, I lol, and she says "so are u gonna help me" and then it dawns on me, this bitch f----- me over hard after our break up and this moment is a godsend, a once in a life time chance to f--- her over like never before, so l look at her, and simply say "get the f--- out" she flips, and screams and yells and cries and calls me a m------------ like its the only word she knows, I can't stop laughing, untill she drops the bomb, "im going to tell everyone u r---- me u s--- right there and then I shat enough brix to build the great wall of china, and she slams the door. Anonymous 08/31/09(Mon)19:59:10 No.156936446 I am f------ f-----, I pace around thinking of what to do, I didn't r--- her, but who are the police gonna belive, allegations like that don't get dropped just cause I say, nah man, I didn't do s---, my reputation would be f-----, right then I hear my new camera beeping, I pick it up and read the screen "low battery". right next to "REC", and my grin almost tore my cheek off, in my fiddling around I had set it to record and hadn't realised, great odins beard the whole thing was on tape, the sheer win of the moment almost had me in tears, anyways, that night cops rocked up, as I expected, and asked me down to the station, my parents where in shock, and I told the police ill come just give me a second to explain to my rents. I told my parents about the tape and they we're fine, and I was going to bring the tape with me to the copshop, but then it hit me, no f--- that, im going to take her for such a ride, and went with the police without a lick of evidence, the cops we're outraged, and I made my story sound really flawed and s-----, so they charged me with counts of r---, assault, harrasment, all this b------- and I had to front court in the coming month, it finally came, and that w---- was in that booth bawwing and carrying on like a m------------, almost convincing on account of her many years of acting lessons, shed walk back to her seat and give me a smarmy f------ grin that i wanted to slap the f--- off her, when I took the stand I pretended to be s------- brix and have a real s--- defence, just to build that bitch up, the case carried on for three court appearances or 18 days. Anonymous 08/31/09(Mon)20:01:26 No.156936889 OP cont: on the final day, in the morning the judge said the jury would compile their verdict by the end of the day, during my recess I told my lawyer about the tape, he only responded by telling me "you f------ sneaky bastard" laughing, I gave him the tape, and that bitch spat on me as I went back to my seat, I turned and waved at her smiling, which wiped her grin straight off, my lawyer announced the new evidence and hit the lights, and bam, up on the screen before the whole court was her sucking my d--- like a little w----, and tho it was weird having my parents watching it, my dad laughing away. the look on her face was, to me, all the happiness in the world, the court was silent for about 5 mins after that, and the jury f----- off to their back room and emerged in a blink of an eye, I was innocent and the judge dropped charges on my ex, for false accusation with intent of damaging my reputation and wasting police resources, my legal fees had to be paid by her and her parents and boyfriend disowned her and I did not stop laughing my arse off for about 2 months, to date it was the greatest thing that's ever happend to me, revenge was so sweet. and to put the icing on the cake, she was pregnant. Pic related, its her

Fake rape accusation backfires | /r/Greentext


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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie
Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated
Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"
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Anonymous 08/31/09(Mon)19:55:41 No.156935759 Evening /bl, I come to you tonight to share you a tale A tale of triumph A tale of win And most of all proof that the almighty hates women. Rest assure there wil be no trouble in mah neighbourhood, no moving to bel air, or telling any taxi drivers I will be smelling them later. Here's where its at, about 8 months ago, January to be exact, I went out to the good guys (you know what I mean Ausfags) and got myself a brand new handy cam, im sitting at home by myself trying to work the f----- out, all of a sudden there's a knock at the door, and who else is it, but my ex, bawwwing her eyes out, playing the sympathy card hard, so l let her in (big mistake), im not fond of her and we wernt on good terms but she explains to me that she thinks she pregnant cause the c---------- and her h----erectus boyfriend are both as stupid as one another. Anonymous 08/31/09(Mon)19:58:15 No.156936269 She being 17, explains she can't go to her rents nor any of her friends due to ultimate shame and harsh ridicule that would follow (also not telling her boyfriend cause he'd f--- off on her (as a real man would), so as I don't associate with her friends or family she explains I am her only hope of getting help, at first I was hoping she would ask me to punch her in the stomach, but she wants me to take her to a clinic, posing as her 18yr old brother, being desperate she offers to do anything. so0o as any self respecting gentleman I reply with "blow me" and in the true cumdumping spirit, she does, and though I admit it was nothing special, it wasn't bad either, she cleans herself up and looks at me and says she missed that, I lol, and she says "so are u gonna help me" and then it dawns on me, this bitch f----- me over hard after our break up and this moment is a godsend, a once in a life time chance to f--- her over like never before, so l look at her, and simply say "get the f--- out" she flips, and screams and yells and cries and calls me a m------------ like its the only word she knows, I can't stop laughing, untill she drops the bomb, "im going to tell everyone u r---- me u s--- right there and then I shat enough brix to build the great wall of china, and she slams the door. Anonymous 08/31/09(Mon)19:59:10 No.156936446 I am f------ f-----, I pace around thinking of what to do, I didn't r--- her, but who are the police gonna belive, allegations like that don't get dropped just cause I say, nah man, I didn't do s---, my reputation would be f-----, right then I hear my new camera beeping, I pick it up and read the screen "low battery". right next to "REC", and my grin almost tore my cheek off, in my fiddling around I had set it to record and hadn't realised, great odins beard the whole thing was on tape, the sheer win of the moment almost had me in tears, anyways, that night cops rocked up, as I expected, and asked me down to the station, my parents where in shock, and I told the police ill come just give me a second to explain to my rents. I told my parents about the tape and they we're fine, and I was going to bring the tape with me to the copshop, but then it hit me, no f--- that, im going to take her for such a ride, and went with the police without a lick of evidence, the cops we're outraged, and I made my story sound really flawed and s-----, so they charged me with counts of r---, assault, harrasment, all this b------- and I had to front court in the coming month, it finally came, and that w---- was in that booth bawwing and carrying on like a m------------, almost convincing on account of her many years of acting lessons, shed walk back to her seat and give me a smarmy f------ grin that i wanted to slap the f--- off her, when I took the stand I pretended to be s------- brix and have a real s--- defence, just to build that bitch up, the case carried on for three court appearances or 18 days. Anonymous 08/31/09(Mon)20:01:26 No.156936889 OP cont: on the final day, in the morning the judge said the jury would compile their verdict by the end of the day, during my recess I told my lawyer about the tape, he only responded by telling me "you f------ sneaky bastard" laughing, I gave him the tape, and that bitch spat on me as I went back to my seat, I turned and waved at her smiling, which wiped her grin straight off, my lawyer announced the new evidence and hit the lights, and bam, up on the screen before the whole court was her sucking my d--- like a little w----, and tho it was weird having my parents watching it, my dad laughing away. the look on her face was, to me, all the happiness in the world, the court was silent for about 5 mins after that, and the jury f----- off to their back room and emerged in a blink of an eye, I was innocent and the judge dropped charges on my ex, for false accusation with intent of damaging my reputation and wasting police resources, my legal fees had to be paid by her and her parents and boyfriend disowned her and I did not stop laughing my arse off for about 2 months, to date it was the greatest thing that's ever happend to me, revenge was so sweet. and to put the icing on the cake, she was pregnant. Pic related, its her

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Uploaded Dec 31, 2021 at 11:26AM EST

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Greentext Stories

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