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File: 1358705525070.jpg-(13 KB, 342x246, 1349645695422.jpg) Anonymous (ID: RTxpnhsh) 01/20/13(Sun)13:12:05 No.452424189 >2 hours ago >having a--- with 9/10 GF for the first time in years >feelsgoodman.jpg >enjoying it for about 10 minutes until feel a foreign object in GF's ass >ohgodno >pull d--- out >expect it to be covered in s--- >nope >f------ tapeworm wrapped around d--- >can feel it constricting my d---, trying to retract back into GF's ass >fight the urge to vomit and pull the rest of it out >stretches to 6 feet and then stops >GF asks "anon y did you stop?" >sees worm >has a m------------ panic attack >starts screaming and puking and s------- everywhere all over my bedsheets >oh god the smell >parents barge in and see both of us naked and covered in puke and s--- with a tapeworm sticking our of her ass >mom faints >dad pukes >dad calls 911 >ambulance comes and picks up GF >parents go back to bed >we spend the rest of the night trying to pretend this s--- didn't happen >l sleep downstairs on the couch, not bothering to clean my sheets >cant sleep >mfw

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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anon gets a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)07:59:50 No.67277422 >finally get date with girl >bring her to my apartment to f--- >we go into my room to watch netflix >she sees that i have two monitors, light up keyboard, ect >makes weird face 28 KB JPG >wont even sit close to me >ubers home 30 mins later 8 Replies View Thread

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Ben Shapiro Disembowels Me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)11:24:31 No.871971968 >Let's say, hypothetically, that l'm hunting you for sport >Now, you may infact run >But, as things stand, you cannot hide >given the only thing that can stop me is an announcement from today's sponsor: 21 KB JPG Birch Gold >and you on the other hand, can only run so long as your feeble body allows it >it's reasonable for me to say that you should just give up >in fact, I would go so far as to say that your death is the only logical conclusion of our encounter >therefore, you are merely delaying the inevitable >now, you may be in fear as I cleave your rib cage in two >you may in fact beg for mercy, appealing to my sense of compassion >however, this would be a colossal mistake >you see, what you fail to understand is... >Axe don't care about your feelings

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Anon plays chess with women’s egos | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/21(Fri)03:26:24 No.62913490 >>62912980 (OP) # i'm already married but when i hang out with my single friends, to help them hook with some beautiful chicks, i spot the classic couple of good looking girl with fat friend and go for the fat friend, offering her a drink etc. while i'm busy distracting the whale i send my friend to the hot chick, that is now demoralised because she thought the guys would hit on her and not on the whale and most of the time my friend succeeds. when i see they succeded, i tell the hambeast that i was just pretending to be interested because i wanted my friend to have a chance with the beautiful girl, and then leave her alone, go back home to my beautiful wife and laugh with her at the fat chick who is now alone and probably binge drinking so she'll be even fatter the next day. never thought life could be this good

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Anon post on reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:31:01 No.46671113 >be me >sad and depressed >mom comes over >she makes pancakes Thanks mom, i love you 7 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:33:39 No.46671147 >be me >loser working dead end job barely enough to pay rent >no friends, dont talk to co workers >depressed >mom comes over every week to cook several days worth of food and restock groceries >cleans my place >never asks for anything Reminder to love your mom.

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anon gets a kid in trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/19(Wed)20:06:08 No.794330457 getting people in trouble stories thread i'll start >be me >be at friends birthday party a few days ago >we're at a hibachi 119 KB JPG restaurant >me and a few other friends f------ around talking about anime games all that good s--- >One of my friends shows me how to use airdrop on my iphone >want to try it out >see a family sitting at another table >see that the mom also has an iphone >see kid playing with a nintendo switch >idea.jpg >change my phones name to nintendo switch >wait for her to turn on her phone >send her anime lewds >message pops up as nintendo switch would like to share an image with you >mom sees this >thisgonbegood.wav >the mom looks at the kid"JASON WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ON YOUR SWITCH >the kid shows his switch to her "i'm playing sonic" >the mom shows the kid her phone and asks " then why is my phone saying nintendo switch would like to share an image with you" >she shows the kid her phone >kid try's defending himself >mom doesn't believe him and takes away his switch >try not to burst into laughter pic related

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Roanon visits Europe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I 12/25/21(Sat)17:14:40 No.157089133 ► >be romanian >go to French >talk in english with locals >they barely speak it and tried being arrogant with their smug face to me >I switch to romanian language with thick accent >they looked worried and left >Go to Spain >few spanish n----- approach me >I respond in romanian with thick accent again >they bend their heads and left >Go to Italy >speake a bit of italian >Some sicilian tattooed fatass ask me to borrow him few bucks with a threatening tone >I remembered what I did in France and Spain and switch to romanian again. >Never saw a fatty walking away that fast before. Didnt knew our language is that spooky to european's ears.

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Anon on windmill ideology | /r/Greentext

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Anon has a positive attitude | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Asking a girl out 11/14/20(Sat)18:25:14 No.60909992 >be me >20yrs old >Lifes good >Ask some girl I found attractive out >She refuses >Lifes still good How are you doing my fellow 78 KB JPG frogposters?

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Anon creates a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)08:49:51 No.64913962 >Parents are on vacation >Gave me $250 for 2 weeks >Planning on spending $1/day on ravioli cans >Saving the rest for videogames and action figures Can I make it? 37 KB JPG 15 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Dont do it anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/18(Fri)01:07:26 No.4517231C >Be paramedic >Seen dozens of suicides in the last 8 years >The reactions of the loved ones are always bad 169 KB JPG >None is ever worse than a dad loosing his son There is not a thing in this world that is more depressing sounding than a man sobbing while clutching his sons lifeless body. I remember one who killed himself by shotgun slug after he came back from Iraq. There was nothing left of him, and his father got home just as we were getting ready to leave. I couldn't let him see, so I stood there and just didn't let him through. He went downstairs to the basement and clutched his sons old baseball glove, rocking back and forth, just saying "papas here, buddy, papas here." Don't do it anons. >>45172699 #

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Anon asks a provocative question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #

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10 Seconds to be as millennial as possible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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Greentext Stories - Is it too early for LNI? | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

File: 1358705525070.jpg-(13 KB, 342x246, 1349645695422.jpg) Anonymous (ID: RTxpnhsh) 01/20/13(Sun)13:12:05 No.452424189 >2 hours ago >having a--- with 9/10 GF for the first time in years >feelsgoodman.jpg >enjoying it for about 10 minutes until feel a foreign object in GF's ass >ohgodno >pull d--- out >expect it to be covered in s--- >nope >f------ tapeworm wrapped around d--- >can feel it constricting my d---, trying to retract back into GF's ass >fight the urge to vomit and pull the rest of it out >stretches to 6 feet and then stops >GF asks "anon y did you stop?" >sees worm >has a m------------ panic attack >starts screaming and puking and s------- everywhere all over my bedsheets >oh god the smell >parents barge in and see both of us naked and covered in puke and s--- with a tapeworm sticking our of her ass >mom faints >dad pukes >dad calls 911 >ambulance comes and picks up GF >parents go back to bed >we spend the rest of the night trying to pretend this s--- didn't happen >l sleep downstairs on the couch, not bothering to clean my sheets >cant sleep >mfw

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