: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)18:58:16 No.858512914 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt >notice roommate doesn't have his 8 KB JPG seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car andI want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.

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: Anonymous 03/19/22(Sat) 19:06:41 No.83807197 x1080.jpg 150 KB JPG >>83805761 # >>83806041 # "Alright, Data, this neural interface suit should allow me to not just watch the series but actually feel what it's like to be the pickle." "Geordi. this procedure is not advised. I believe you should reconsider-" "PICKLE ME, DAMMIT!" >>83810429 #

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: csHm5+uX) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 12/11/24(Wed)11:53:34 No.491144817 263 KB JPG Since this place is going to be littered with security cameras from now on, was this the last get away spot in America? Anonymous (ID: fkm6NKaX ) [ >>491144817 (OP) 12/11/24(Wed)11:55:29 No.491144969 >literally the must public park in the world >last getaway spot in the us Are burgers retarded? Anonymous (ID: ezBvirCP) >>491144817 (OP) Just have gay sex at home, retard. 12/11/24(Wed)11:57:35 No.491145133

Anonymous 244 KB PNG 01/09/21(Sat)21:22:46 No.844438848 >at the zoo >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread

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Anon has backpain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)23:07:52 No.873677303 >have random back pain, probably from sitting wrong >bad at googling so I go on reddit to ask for advice on how to fix it >the medical question sub asks you to 199 KB JPG state your general stats to save time, age weight and gender etc >do it because l'd gain nothing from being banned >instead of helping they start roasting me for being a 5'6, 120lbs grown-ass man

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Anon prepares for the future | /r/Greentext

1618542645521.jpg 39 KB JPG >>80645680 # >every morning I break out of my house >every night I break in >l do not sleep >l only repair the damage and perfect my defenses >l hunger for the day that I am either entombed forever or effectively exiled from my own house

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Anon reads his life’s terms and conditions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21 (Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF

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Anon makes his dad happy :) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)20:24:10 No.64167936 >be me >18 years old no gf or real social life or job >heavily depressed >go to stay with my dad for a while >my parents are split up >realise I don't have any money for 144 KB PNG cigarettes >ask my dad if I can work with him to earn a bit of money >dad works as a carpenter >tells me I can work with him for the week and he would pay me on Friday >start working on Monday through to Friday >probably the hardest I've ever worked >end of the week rolls by and I'm in the van with my dad >he gives me the money and starts talking >"I'm proud of you anon, you showing initiative and asking to work with me made me happier than I can ever imagine" I didn't buy the cigarettes I haven't smoked in about a year Thanks dad

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Anon Takes A Walk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: USYS8J46) 03/02/22(Wed)14:53:19 No.364700127 >walk 10 feet into Ukrainian territory >stop >refuse to elaborate 462 KB PNG 18 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon thinks of a cool gamer tag | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)16:08:57 No.873686677 >watch Predator for the first time when I was 10 >think the predator is badass >get Xbox live >think of cool gamer tag >XxTheChildPredatorxx >nobody adds my friend requests >haven't the slightest clue why 255 KB JPG The fear I must have invoked in the hearts of parents when I sent their kids friend requests was probably astounding

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Anon wants to change his name | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)17:57:40 No.52771831 >one chance at life >parents name you pheonix yes, that is the actual spelling 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)18:01:50 No.52771891 >>52771831 (OP) # >one chance at life >Thurman I CAN'T EVEN F------ SHORTEN IT REEEEEEEE 114 KB PNG >>52772118 # >>52772175 # >>52772688 # >>52772696 # >>52772722 # >>52773112 # >>52773312 # >>52773328 # >>52773372 # >>52773532 # : Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)18:17:12 No.52772118 >>52771891 # f------ THURMAN 411 KB JPG >>52772696 # : Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)18:20:51 No.52772175 >>52771891 # Ahahah sup thurman

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Anon gets a bonsai tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is Lonly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #

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Anon asks a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)14:58:30 No.65765485 >ask black guy if were allowed to bench in the squat rack? >he shrugs and says "idk I see other people doing it" >automatically say "monkey see monkey do" >he looks like he's about to hit me then 10 KB JPG walks off Im so retarded h--------

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Anon needs to be culled from the gene pool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)07:03:22 No.49347279 >be me >fat neet >no gf obviously >have a oneitis type crush >would literally do anything to get her 20 KB JPG >start dieting and exercising >stop jerking off dry, instead buy fleshlight and lube >feelsgoodman >start really liking the fleshlight >decide to give it a name >the same name as my oneitis >decide to tell it to her as a compliment >get blocked : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)07:05:39 No.49347304 >>49347279 (OP) # >decide to tell it to her as a compliment 31 KB JPG

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Anon Is a Diferent Case | /r/Greentext

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Greentext Stories - Very useful advice | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)18:58:16 No.858512914 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt >notice roommate doesn't have his 8 KB JPG seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car andI want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.

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