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: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)09:07:40 No.165724369 r.png 848 KB PNG >Looks like Will's marriage is open to anything but jokes!

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Moar:

#BlackLivesMatterAnon gets a new gaming buddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)09:13:05 No.572761537 >Be playing vidya >Enter co op game >Black guy has joined >He's new to the game >Doesn't realise his mic is on and is recording the whole room. >He's low on health >He doesn't know how to heal. 3 KB JPG >l heal him for him >"Thank you!" >"That's so nice" >Later in the game I get downed >"I'm coming my n----" >Comes to my rescue >"I got you bro" >Finish the mission >"Yo G you're ma real n----. Respect" Mfw feels good man

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Anon is living the dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Vila 03/28/22(Mon)20:23:42 No.67969628 > be me > grade 3 or something > doing roman history in class for a few weeks >i love it and tell my teacher I want to live in Italy when l'm older > love to cool Vilas and s--- > she's super supportive and always talks about it 593 KB JPG with me > ff to now > bought house in portugal > have fruit trees and wine grapes > eating malba toast with mayonnaise while watching leauge of legends on YouTube >I am the emperor of my own Vila It's not Italy but it's just as good. Thank you teacher 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)20:26:53 No.67969662 >>67969628 (OP)# Nothing wrong with living the dream.

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: vpV/X6rj ) 03/28/22(Mon)11:32:47 No.369791656 >Be fit, tall, rich and famous >Be married >Wife cheats multiple times >Wife publicly says that fit, tall, rich and famous husband can't f--- >Someone makes a joke about wife's lack 60 KB JPG of hair >Husband laughs, but then punchs dude who made the joke because wife didn't like it >Husband acts like a huge white knight cuck with cheating bitch wife >He could just dump her ass and get any woman he wants, he's not exactly a NEET neckbeard why? pic related

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anon’s reddit experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)04:03:53 No.5017389 >visit reddit for the first time >first two major subs reddit recommends me >first one is a politics sub, tl;dr people are still seething because of Trump, boring >second sub is r/all, it actually just a collection of the day's most upvoted posts from various subs >first post is some meme with the title 'Bruh' >most upvoted comment is 'Bruh' with 1500 upvotes >under it a response comment 'Bruh' with 1200 downvotes that place might be more retarded than 4chin

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Anon questions society | /r/Greentext

10m (3/28 11:22) · 875233386 1 Re · 0 Img JPG· 29KB · (550 × 550) 1 Reply >a single woman wants to adopt a young boy >wow amazing, what a caring and loving lady >a single man wants to adopt a young girl >eww what a disgusting p---, lock him up why? 9m (3/28 11:23) · 875233429 >>875233386 (OP) men bad

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Literally every conversation about Antinous Pius ever. | /r/Greentext

26m (5/6 13:13) - 11058542 3 Re 0 Img JPG 2MB (2300 x 3066) 2 Replies >become most powerful man on earth >do absolutely nothing Denaranon · 9m (5/6 13:31) - 11058630 >>11058542 (OP) >Become the most powerful man on earth >See that the country is prospering >See that your in an era of peace >Don't spend money on military motions that are unneeded >Spend money for welfare, including starting a orphanage for girls >Devote time to raising children ment to be the best possible heirs >1800 years later >F----- 4channers are mad that you didn't do dumb s---.

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The Batman is a documentary | /r/Greentext

>black woman walks up to rich white dude >guy doesnt even know her >demands gibs >changes to an offended tone when rich guy visibly doesnt want to deal with her bs didnt know The Batman was a documentary

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anon makes something new | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)19:33:08 No.859751742 Floorjak.png 126 KB PNG Hey guys, I'm new here. I thought I'd just share a new wojak I made, I call him floorjak. Basically the gimmick is he's a floor, and I've never seen that done before. Please go easy on me, things haven't been going good for me lately. I hope you like it. 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon lil bro is the best | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

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########## | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)02:01:14 No.875232446 JADA PINKETT Will: See what I did, babe? I smacked him. That was for you. SMITH G.I.JANE Jada: Mhm...yeah, wel...Pac would've shot him. Then he would've come back down here and f----- me on this table in 528 KB JPG front of everyone here. Will: *sigh* ...He sure would have...*wipes a mournful tear and pours some of his drink onto the floor* ...He sure in hell would have... 13 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 769700370 (2 m) >be 20 something >working at a local convenience store/gas station > some lady and a kid walk in a m------------ towel wrapped around his chubby neck >realize he's tard, pretend the towel is a PNG саре >supertard runs full speed down the snack isle knocking over everything >fuckmylifeimgonnahavetocleanthatup.jpg >tard mom asks for some smokes and gas >lady is paying when n----- walks in >n----- pulls out two guns, points one at the lady and sticks the other one in my face >supertard comes running full speed through the store, jumps and flies head-first into the n----- >supertard's collision causes n----- to fly into the window next to the register >tard laying on top of incapacitated n-----, flailing around crying >police show up later, n----- has a concussion from the impact with supertard superskull. 93.72 KB I never saw supertard again but I like to think he's still out there protecting innocents

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Anon works with furries | /r/Greentext

#84158168 23 hours ago 1313466387609.jpg JPG 290.9 KiB 648x913 >>84151767 (OP) I once worked for a startup that was founded by furries, we tried to be all professional and s---, but you know we are trash and mistakes happen. One time one of the production techs accidentally synced their personal laptop up to the corporate google drive. And Google never forgets.. We kept finding erotic werewolf TF fiction showing up in unexpected places for months after that no matter how many times the IT staff tried to purge it. And one of the devs was a brony. So you would log into prototype machines to find that the MOTD had randomly been replaced with ponies all the time. I'm pretty sure that wound up getting shipped a couple of production builds too. A couple of the engineers were good friends with Varka, of Bad Dragon fame, so at one point he sent is a palette of reject dildos to destroy in the machine shop for a laugh. So naturally a couple retardedly oversized dildos started popping up with googly eyes in place of flower vases and the like.

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Greentext Stories - Anon Got Jokes | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)09:07:40 No.165724369 r.png 848 KB PNG >Looks like Will's marriage is open to anything but jokes!

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