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Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:14:39 No.876500905 hey check out this magic trick i can do >stay in bed all day >eat like s--- >don't exercise >don't talk to anyone >have no real hobbies 207 KB PNG Ta daaaa >l'm depressed

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon gets compliments | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me 04/18/22(Mon)07:04:56 No.68264448 >spergy >ugly >women hate me >become friends with a f-- >become familiar with his circle of f-- friends >f--- compliment my looks and 264 KB PNG personality >feel desired for the first time in my life >self confidence goes up thank you f------ 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:06:00 No.68264458 >>68264448 (OP) # u are welcome : Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:06:17 No.68264464 you forgot the part where you got TOPPED by all of them

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Anon has a fat ass. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)19:54:19 No.876483178 >be me >be male >have fat ass >dad always says that i have the right material to be a gay COPIUM 155 KB PNG prostitute >girls in class always grab my ass >"Wow anon your ass is so big!" >"Anon your ass looks like you got 2 bowls sticked to your bottom" >boys >"if i cant f--- anything, i would f--- you anon"

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Anon gonna die a virgin because of high standards and low awareness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Anon celebrates Easter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF

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Anon needs to shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)09:51:29 No.53536268 >saving up a big s--- all morning >tell nurse I need my adult diaper changed >as soon as she opens up the diaper I blast out a load of s--- all Wiesthers 227 KB PNG over her >she screams and runs out of the room >l follow her yelling toastie roastie toastie roastie over and over while she tells her boss she's had it and she's quitting >keep laughing and shouting toastie roastie until my laughs turn into a coughing fit >have a heart attack and die

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so scary!!! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)13:08:35 No.549984012 e: 1607694157686.jpg (429 KB, 1082x928) >>54998412 >DUDE CHECK IT OUT >THERE'S NOTHING HERE, ISNT THAT SCARY???

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Anon on the Third Reich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)18:24:36 No.866355644 >hyper military based society >tries to convince itself it's the strongest a---- military on earth 20 KB PNG >fights one (1) war >loses 25 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Many kek's were had. Please report this account to get him banned. | /r/Greentext

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Anon takes care of his skin | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)01:34:46 No.68260921 >be 12 >constantly get zits under the skin in one particular spot right at the base of my chin >really painful but I can't do anything about it >decide one day enough is enough >figure the momentary pain of cutting that son of a bitch out of my face is worth the relief 41 KB JPG >use pocket knife to cut out my zit >hurts really bad but power through it >small piece of wood comes with it >realize the cause of the constant inflammation was a small splinter I got god knows when >from then on decide that I will cut out any zit, cist, bug bite, or any other bump I have on my body I don't like is gona get the knife >do it all the time for years >eventually not even bothered by the sharp pain caused by cutting things out of my body >30 minutes ago >standing around with co-workers right before shift ends >have a cyst on my palms from all the pull ups ive been doing >it's mildly annoying >take out my box cutter and cut it out of my palm before gripping onto a paper towel to stop the bleeding >co-workers all look mortified I tried to play it off but I know everyone thinks im some kind of idiot now. What should I do?

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Anon is female. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)20:48:54 No.68262290 >one shot at life >called Shovelware Fernandez >l'm female 12 KB JPG

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Anon plays to much Elden ring | /r/Greentext

Fürled Finger Fat Malenia umed Finger : Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)21:53:42 No.595763645 >>595762702 # I am malardia, blade of McDonald's, and I have never seen my feet

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Anon joins Grindr | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)18:27:49 No.59727411 >fall for the gay memes on r9k >spend months jerking off to sissy hypno ВВС рorn >decide to go on grindr >scroll a bit >find my dad on the site 163 KB JPG >he's a bottom Should I kill myself?

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Greentext Stories - Anon is a magician | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:14:39 No.876500905 hey check out this magic trick i can do >stay in bed all day >eat like s--- >don't exercise >don't talk to anyone >have no real hobbies 207 KB PNG Ta daaaa >l'm depressed

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