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: Anonymous >Be me >Middle School >New kid gets introduced named Jeremiah >Jeremiah didn't talk he wasn't from around where we lived 132 KB JPG >Ask Jeremiah if he wants to come over to my house to do kid stuff >Comes over after school >He brings wine >S---- cash >Next week ask Jeremiah if I can come to his house after school >Go home with him >It's a pond It was at that moment I realized Jeremiah was a bullfrog, was a good friend of mine, never understood a word he said. But I sure did help him drink his wine 05/24/22(Tue)20:22:22 No.878795116

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon does a flippin good thing | /r/Greentext

08/19/18(Sun)13:30:30 No.777598427 : Anonymous ITT: Good deeds you've done in your life. >Be me. >Go for a walk because I'm not a shut in virgin. 7 KB JPG >Walk by trailer park for some human entertainment. >Girl comes running up to me. >Tells me her dog is dying and she needs help. >F----- jumped in the pool and didn't know how to swim. >Luckily I'm an EMT in training. >Grab big ass golden retriever out of pool. >Pretty sure its dead. >Give the dog CPR. >He's not responding but I keep at it. >Girl calls 911. >Turns out they don't send ambulances for dogs. >Just before I'm about to carry it to her car he starts coughing. >Throws up all over me. >Girl comes running over and hugs dog. >His tail starts wagging. >Girl thanks me. >Gives me a hug. >Tells me she'd kiss me if she didn't have a boyfriend. >Respect her relationship and leave with my head held high. I like helping people. It makes me feel good!

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anon strikes fear into the heart of anyone who meets his gaze | /r/Greentext

>be me >first day of school >in hallway going to class >bump into girl holding papers >im like a foot taller than her >she expects me to help her pick them up like in the movies 69 KB JPG >i dont >look at her while she picks them up herself >she finishes and stands up >stare at her >she's about to say something but can't muster up the courage >continue staring >her eyes start to water >keep staring >i feel the fear in her eyes >keep staring >she speed walks away looking down >were in the same class >don't have any interactions or say a word to her for the rest of the year

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anon goes to therapy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/22(Tue)17:13:16 No.878765775 >be me >f------ retarded >want to kill myself but change mind at last second >decide to try therapy 159 KB PNG >"hey anon how are you doing today?" >"fine i guess i sorta wanna kill myself though" >"that's too bad, have you ever tried not wanting to die? 11 >go home from therapy >start thinking about killing myself again >do this s--- for a year What the f---.

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Anon is the United States | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: YFbDozoa 05/24/22(Tue) 20:30:39 No.379332776 >be United States >have mass shootings back to back >not the only country whose citizens have guns >am the only country without universal Healthcare 72 KB JPG > also the cost of living is through the roof >rapid inflation >stagnant wages >out of touch boomers kept in congress >watch people blame the guns again >roll out some b------- policies that will never pass congress to make people happy >everyone argues over 2nd amendment and blames the conservatives >they'll riot across the country for one man dying but not for basic living standards >won't riot over dead children either >nobody argues about healthcare, cost of living, or congress term limits >another successful day completely avoiding the real issues

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Anon talks about Bus Cannibals | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/22(Tue)12:35:26 No.878775645 so I just found out there's a Bus Cannibal walking around Canada a free man right now >Basically, in 2008 this 49 KB JPG Schizophrenic man named Vince Li got on a Greyhound Bus >a 22-year old man named Tim McLean is just sitting down listening to some music >halfway through the ride, Li starts stabbing him >the driver stops the bus, and people are frantically trying to get out >Li scares everyone off the bus, and begins mutilating / eating parts of McLean's body >he cuts off his head and parades it around the bus, showing it to everyone outside >when the police finally arrest him, they find McLean's ear, nose, and tongue in Li's pockets (the eyes & a chunk of his heart were missing and were believed to have been eaten by Li) >Li was found not criminally responsible for the murder due to his schizophrenia >in 2017, some f------ genius in the Canadian Justice System decides to let him out of his mental institution without any further monitoring, with Li changing his name and going on to live a normal life >several of the witnesses got PTSD from what he did >one of the first responders committed suicide after the incident >McClean's girlfriend gave birth to his son 5 months later. He is now 13, and has had to see therapists after finding out what happened to his dad. How the f--- can someone be "rehabilitated" after doing something like that? Good, the deranged cannibalistic murderer got better. Tim McLean is still dead. His son still never got to see his father. Dozens of people have had their lives ruined after seeing what Li did that day. That p------------ should've gotten way more than 9 years in a psych ward.

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Anon becomes a dad. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/16(Sat)03:24:29 No.710603525 So I've been c------ in my roommates girlfriend's body wash because they're annoying as f---. For like two months, jerk it in the shower, open the pump, dump it in, and give it a good shake. 14 KB JPG He just told me her period was super late so they took a pregnancy test and she's knocked up. He said "I trust her, I guess a condom ripped or idk" and they're going to raise it. We have a year on the lease. Problem is, I'm Greek and they're white as f---. What are the chances I'm a dad? : Anonymous what the f--- is wrong with you >>710603671 # >>710604623 # 11/05/16(Sat)03:25:48 No.710603604

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Anon gets hit by a car | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/22(Tue)19:18:14 No.878772108 >making my way downtown.mkv >get hit by car >in pain >about to die soon >get idea >go on 4chan 777 KB PNG >"be me" >you are now me >enjoy your 10 second suffering before you go to hell

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Anon has friends | /r/Greentext

> be me an hour ago > have little friends but none that i really trust > always worried that people always talk bad s--- about me behind my back 65 KB PNG > get added into a group chat with class mates and the "friends" > they were playing a couple texting games in the group chat like truth or truth essenger rec added this thing where you search up a word and all the stuff they said using that word came up > have idea to search up name > type Anon > all results came up positive and well > all sentences that used my name were stuff like > anon is a pretty cool guy > Two girls even said i was pretty cute > self confidence grows and my friends actually really cared about me Dont worry anons it will all be fine for you

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Anon's Ex Girl | /r/Greentext

11/28/20(Sat)01:40:34 No.61119312 : Anonymous R---- by girlfriend >get drunk and have sex with girl 2 years ago >that girl eventually becomes my girlfriend 141 KB JPG >yesterday at a family gathering she says "I actually had to get anon drunk to loosen him up a little and make it official" >everyone laughs >it all makes sense now >that day I was really drunk and she was sober >kept handing me drinks and eventually took me to her car and started blowing me I don't mind, honestly, but the fact that everyone laughed it's scary, the double standard. Can you imagine if I would've said that? "Yeah I got her drunk then took her back to my car to f---" CAN YOU IMAGINE? I would've been lynched in the spot. Girls are such hypocrites. My sisters laughed, my female cousins laughed, they said "Yeah anon was too shy, he needed a woman to smack some sense into him" What the f--- is wrong with these w-----, h--------

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Anon is a good American | /r/Greentext

09/14/16(Wed)19:11:11 No.703940657 >be me >recently moved because of job opportunity, no gf, no friends in town >every friday, order a pizza from local pizzahut 21 KB JPG >give delivery guy a different "challenge" every time they bring a pizza, with a large tip as a reward if they complete it >always make them america-related >start easy. draw an american flag for 5$ >slowly make them more and more challenging, increasing reward as time goes on >"recite the preamble for 20$" >"tell me your personal opinion on the 2nd amendment for 10$" >etc etc >this goes on for a few months until pretty much every employee in the resturaunt that has done a delivery has at least attempted one of my challenges >yesterday, get in pretty bad car accident >wake up in hospital today. told by nurse that a few people came by to visit, mainly coworkers from job >some of them left a pizza >mfw there's a pizza on a table in the room of the same type that i always get >mfw it's got an american flag on it and a "get well soon" card with signatures from the entire restaurant staff : Anonymous Prut

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Anon doesn't understand social cues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)10:38:59 No.46535165 ITT: Childhood autism >go to italian restaurant >order pasta >waiter asks me if i want cheese on my pasta 53 KB JPG >say yes >waiter says "ok say when" >i say "when" >"so you don't want any cheese?" >i am confused >"of course i want cheese" >"ok then, say when" >"when" >waiter is p-----, leaves and gives me no cheese >it dawns on me How was I this stupid?

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Anon goes on Omegle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 minutes ago 776682167 >be me >on omegle >get matched with stranger >stranger turns out to be a very nice business woman from london >we talked for about an hour straight laughing and having fun >find out shes single >i have a chance >about to ask for instagram >internet crashes >mfw

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Greentext Stories - Anon’s friend Jeremiah | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous >Be me >Middle School >New kid gets introduced named Jeremiah >Jeremiah didn't talk he wasn't from around where we lived 132 KB JPG >Ask Jeremiah if he wants to come over to my house to do kid stuff >Comes over after school >He brings wine >S---- cash >Next week ask Jeremiah if I can come to his house after school >Go home with him >It's a pond It was at that moment I realized Jeremiah was a bullfrog, was a good friend of mine, never understood a word he said. But I sure did help him drink his wine 05/24/22(Tue)20:22:22 No.878795116

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