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the ONION America's Finest News Source. HOME LATEST NEWS LOCAL ENTERTAINMENT POLITICS SPORTS OPINION OGN GERALDINE STOP STATE TROOPER NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens UVALDE, TX-In the hours following a violent rampage in Texas in which a lone attacker killed at least 21 individuals and injured several others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly... NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens Check These Out More SHERIFE NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens Local NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens AMBULANCE GENCY ENTRANCE FIRE DISTRICT NO 2 Douglas County Fine Dist NO 2 33NAJUOMA O NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens ROSEBURG, OR-In the hours following a violent rampage in southwestern Oregon in which a lone attacker killed nine individuals and seriously injured seven others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs... 1174 NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens INDIANAPOLIS-In the hours following a violent rampage in Indiana in which a lone attacker killed eight individuals and injured several others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded... NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens BOULDER, CO-In the hours following a violent rampage in Colorado in which a lone attacker killed 10 individuals and injured several others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded... NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens ATLANTA-In the hours following a violent rampage in Georgia in which a lone attacker killed eight individuals and injured one other, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Wednesday... NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NEWS IN BRIEF Report: Uvalde Gunman Had Accomplices As Far As Washington, D.C Shop Subscribe CENT NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NORTH TEAM NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens AMBULANCE GENCY ENTRANCE FeD2 NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens SHOW ALL JCSB JCLA NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens NRA Celebration of American Values NEWS NRA Sets 1,000 Killed In School Shooting As Amount It Would Take For Them To Reconsider Much Of Anything

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This is literally what The Onion frontpage looks like today


Uploaded by baldarek May 25, 2022 at 03:43PM EDT

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Origin Entry: 2022 Uvalde, Texas School Shooting

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4:29 kvue.com = KVUE.abc f stockpile military-style rifles, accessories and ammunition without arousing suspicion from authorities, enter a supposedly secure school unimpeded and indiscriminately kill children and adults. In total, 376 law enforcement officers a force larger than the garrison that defended the Alamo descended upon the school in a chaotic, uncoordinated scene that lasted for more than an hour. The group was devoid of clear leadership, basic communications and sufficient urgency to take down the gunman, the report says. Notably, the investigation is the first so far to criticize the inaction of state and federal law enforcement, while other reports and public accounts by officials have placed the blame squarely on Uvalde school police Chief Pete Arredondo, for his role as incident commander, and other local police who were among the first to arrive. The report also reveals for the first time that the overwhelming majority of responders were federal and state law enforcement: 149 were U.S. Border Patrol, and 91 were state police - whose responsibilities include responding to "mass attacks in public places." There were 25 Uvalde police officers and 16 sheriff's deputies. Arredondo's school police force accounted for five of the officers on the scene. The rest of the force was made up of neighboring county law enforcement, U.S. Marshals, and federal Drug Enforcement Agency officers.
"THE ONLY THING THAT STOPS A BAD GUY WITH A GUN IS A GOOD GUY WITH A GUN." So that was a f------ lie. y
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Uploaded May 25, 2022 at 03:43PM EDT

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2022 Uvalde, Texas School Shooting

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The Onion (archived)

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