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>car not registered >no insurance >expired tags >45mph over limit >Rear driver side headlight blown out >4 15inch subs and 16 speakers/12 tweeters blasting >cop pulls me over >Slow down I don't want to write you a ticket 8 KB JPG Lmao cuck, continued speeding as soon i lost sight of him

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon lies about his dick size | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 340 KB PNG 12/15/20(Tue) 18:33:08 No.61395043 >Have big d--- >still never get to use it Game was rigged from the start

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Anon lives the good Life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/19(Mon)12:13:12 No.798004600 >be me >changed schools and locations at least a dozen times in my life >old friend invites me to his party >never been to a party before >but I havent seen him in so long >f--- it Im going >expect that Im gonna be a social stigma and talk to nobody >oh well >arrive at party >"ANON!" >everyone happy as f--- to see me >hugs on top of hugs on top of hugs from people I havent seen in years >they all missed me >I always thought I was a social outcast 8 KB JPG >smoking pot, getting drunk >flirting with girls that I used to think were way out of my league >vibing like there is no tommorow >3 am, crossfaded out of my mind >pass out on friend's floor >people actually like me >people actually enjoy my presence >feelsgoodman View Thread

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Anon is funny | /r/Greentext

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OP’s about to have a hell of a ride | /r/Greentext

retard How f----- am I? MIO ENERGY CARENZA VITA ÇAL $1 281 KB JPG 06/25/22(Sat)05:31:42 No.67322925 I didn't realize this had caffine and was sucking it straight from the bottle this past hour. I am 6'3" and 150 lbs (not a regular here). This has 60mg of caffine per squeeze, and 18 servings. Doing the math I just consumed 1080mg of caffine. Do I survive? : Anonymous >>67322925 (OP) # OP you are about to travel through time, see you on the other side 06/25/22(Sat)05:39:16 No.67323001

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Anon's friend has good taste | /r/Greentext

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Anon plays the flute | /r/Greentext

70 KB JPG >Be me, have masters degree in flute performance >Obviously can't a job playing the flute >Work for a fabric/craft store >Owned by horrible baby boomer lady >She says I play the skin flute >Then she laughs in horrible smoker voice >Also makes us work overtime, refuses to pay it >Calls me a skin flute player everyday >This goes on for a year >Decide to get my revenge >Her husband is always in the store >Follow him into her office >She will be back from her hourly smoke break in 3 minutes >Play her husband's skin flute >She walks in while I'm giving him the b------- I've always wanted >Marriage is wrecked >Gay but totally worth it >It was my greatest flute performance

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anon talks to a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)20:58:11 No.880120113 how am i this retarded >my only friend convinces me to go out for the first time in years >the idea of it makes me sick but i decide some socializing might be 170 KB JPG good for me >get to the bar, bartender is a really hot girl >"what can i fix for you anon" brain does an autism >"your teeth." my friend finished his drink and we left.

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Anon doesn't like living in the United States | /r/Greentext

File: ezgif-3-694efc6508.webm (2.62 MB, 576x1024) >>384016080 >>384016165 >>384016168 >>384016216 U I f------ hate this godforsaken country Anonymous (ID: XhJU6A2P) 06/26/22(Sun)15:13:33 No.384015956 >>384016293 >>384016305 >>384016307 >>384016377 >>384016378 >>384016397 >>384016405 >>384016445 >>384016453 >>384016457 >>384016593 >>384016610 >>384016636 >>384016719 >>384016777 >>384016818 >>384016910 >>384016917 >>384016928 >>384016993 >>384017082 >>384017093 >>384017484 >>384017517 >>384017656 >>384017705 >>384017737 >>384017760 >>384017973 >>384017990 >>384018002 >>384018161 This video I took with my phone yesterday is in a Walmart bathroom where a dysgenic fat f------ piece of lard who has s--- stains in his underwear and amputated toes which is probably from complications due to diabetes sits and defecates. I'm not even kidding it's from a Walmart bathroom and it smelt like death.

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Anon aces a public speaking class | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/28/21 (Wed)15:20:48 No.853184775 File: 1611427684701.jpg (57 KB, 275x275) >>853183576 >be me in college >public speaking class >have idea >tell prof on 1st day I stutter sometimes >it's ok anon we'll get through it >really lay it on >3 minutes per paragraph in front of 40 peers >next week do a little better >can still see pain in the faces of kids when I stammer for 10 seconds on a word >prof encourages me every time >she even kicked a kid out of class for saying "come on" under his breath >improving every class >almost no stuttering now >final speech give a perfect oration for me, didn't have to fake stutter at all >get an A mfw never stuttered in my life

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Anon cleans his room | /r/Greentext

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Anon attends a Russian theater | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Moscow theater showing pirated version (from torrents) of batman LOL 04/26/22(Tue)14:51:05 No.167141834 LOO0000000L.jpg 56 KB JPG : Anonymous >>167141834 (OP) # >projector fires up >ad pops up >exit ad >click search bar >some Russian Google chrome browser homepage >types in 123movies into search bar >clicks first link 04/26/22(Tue) 16:46:24 No.167148013 >doesn't work >clicks second link >clicks on search bar >ad pops up >exit ad >ad pops up >exit ad, click searchbar >hit play >hit full-screen >type in Batman >click The Batman (2022) >ad pops up >exit ad, hit full screen >Russian audience starts cheering Sounds based to me

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Anon is a femboy enjoyer | /r/Greentext

SOMEONE F------ HELP ME!! 1654566158993.png 432 KB PNG sandcavern I was born a man I should be strong and independent, but I love the idea of being weak and pathetic and needing to rely on a real man for everything

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Greentext Stories - An interesting title | /r/Greentext

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>car not registered >no insurance >expired tags >45mph over limit >Rear driver side headlight blown out >4 15inch subs and 16 speakers/12 tweeters blasting >cop pulls me over >Slow down I don't want to write you a ticket 8 KB JPG Lmao cuck, continued speeding as soon i lost sight of him

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Uploaded Jun 26, 2022 at 07:26PM EDT

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