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No.132072243 rereading the Harry Potter books made me realize Harry was pretty dumb tbf >there is a troll on the loose in the castle and Anonymous 07/28/22(Thu)09:54:18 Hermione is in the bathroom? better go there instead of telling McGonagall or Dumbledore or any teacher or prefect >takes part in the triwizard tournament because muh goblet's magical license agreement or some s--- despite him not putting his name in it so he could've said "nah Im not doing this s---. you wanna force me? will that goblet magically make my head explode if I dont participate?" >misses pajeeta p---- because he has a crush on a girl he talked to twice last year and because Ron is a jealous sperg >doesnt ask out the cute autistic outcast girl despite being an outcast in most of his life while growing up with the Dursleys, probably could've gotten along best with Luna out of all (2) of his girlfriends >dates his best friend's sister which is a major NO because if they break up with heat it endangers his friendship with Ron >does all the s--- in sixth year Dumbledore asks and never tells him "listen here old man, what's the actual deal?" >Slughorn is the only person who knows how many horcruxes Voldemort made - doesnt suggest Dumbledore they should put veritaserum in Slughorn's ginger ale and ask him what's the secret number is >grew up among muggles but never suggests they should take out Voldemort with a Dragunov sniper rifle

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon likes critikal | /r/Greentext

File: wojakcritikal.png (177 KB, 340x468) Wait, you guys hate moistcritikal? Anonymous 07/28/22(Thu) >why do you guys hate charlie?

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Four Eyed Freak | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sport 07/27/22 (Wed)23:37:29 No.69585104 >broke NEET McGRE AUG 2>Wear goofy glasses >Get job 433 KB PNG >Save up enough money to get contacts >Wear contacts to work >Qt assistant manager goes out of her way to be around me >Wind up getting her number >Go to the liquor store after work >Qt at the register says it was hard to tell I had nice eyes with my glasses Bros get rid of your glasses and get contacts

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Anon was a clueless 9 year old | /r/Greentext

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Anon is reduced to dust | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT times your gainz have been(...) Do I even lift? 12/07/17(Thu)10:08:39 No.43865956 >be me >been hitting the gym really hard past few weeks and feelin beefy >go to get a physical/flu shot from dr >he tells me to take my shirt off >"guess its pretty clear you aren't afraid of needles huh!" 18 KB JPG >oh haha i get comments like that alot but I'm actually natural and just have a strict lifting regime >blankstare.jpg >"I was talking about your tattoo, it's very obvious you aren't on steroids" So who crushed your self-esteem this week? 12 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon can't contain himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 129 KB JPG 07/26/22(Tue)18:45:27 No.69566652 >guys how do I stop giggling when I hear people fart >I'm 28

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Anon writes 9 paragraph long argument on reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/22(Thu)09:02:13 No.69583568 48 KB JPG > be me > pretty much a normal guy > friend tells me to install reddit and create an account > dont usually use social media > whatever, install that s--- and enter in a political discussion > write a f------ 9 paragraphs long well written text full of arguments politely answering some gentleman question > gets downvoted to oblivion > random f----- replies "the holocaust is real tf u on about" > 900 updoots and 3 awards why there is so many retards on that s-------?

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anon is in distress | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 129 KB JPG 07/26/22(Tue)18:45:27 No.69566652 >Flush the toilet at friends house >The water starts rising

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anon is missing the obvious | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I don't feel emotions anymore.(...) 07/20/22(Wed)00:25:01 No.26933788 I'm 18. I couldn't feel my emotions properly since lockdown. Now I don't think I feel them anymore. Due to lockdown I did not see my irl friends much so I turned to internet. I've seen people live every emotion in every way there. And now my everyday life seems so ordinary and I feel like I've seen everything. I can't feel everyday emotions due to this. I mostly felt sad because I was not a generic gen z guy, but now I can't even feel sad anymore. Internet has robbed me of dopamine and emotions. I need to find a way out of this asap and become normal again anons. 100 KB JPG 1 Reply : Anonymous >>26933788 (OP) # stop using the internet View Thread 07/20/22(Wed)00:29:57 No.26933823

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Anon is Californian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous G 07/28/22(Thu)11:09:29 No.882824905 129 KB PNG >california >$15hr wage >$28,200 a year roughly w/ vacation/holidays >$2300 a month >cheapest 1bed apartment is over $2000 a month >you can't afford car upkeep with the left over $300 >forget health insurance and internet >you can just barely afford food Why hasn't the USA failed already? How many more homeless people need to be out there? Why isn't it absolutely mandatory for schools to teach you and provide you with starter jobs and tax skills? It is impossible to live independently unless you make like $40 an hour and the majority of people working in this country don't even make half of that. 30 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon tries Buffalo wings for the first time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous B S BITTALA WING WINGS 07/27/22(Wed)21:19:10 No.882825307 >Be me, 9 years old at Buffalo Wild Wings for the first time on a Friday night >Never had Buffalo wings before >Waitress brings the plate >Autism.exe >I say, "these are just chicken wings." >My dad tries to laugh it off. "Good one son, I'll bet she's never heard that one before." >Fullretard.exe now loaded 60 KB JPG >I yell "then why the f--- are they called Buffalo wings, if they're goddamned chicken wings?" Everybody in the restaurant is staring at us. >The waitress says, "because they were invented in Buffalo, NY." Then stares at us >My dad doesn't say anything for the rest of dinner or the rest of the weekend >They were good chicken wings though

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Anon makes a sandwich | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 15 KB JPG >out of cheese >only bread it was so good :( Anonymous >>69560493 (OP) # Hate this feel bro. >>69561318 # >be me >eating chicken and cheese sandwich >delicious : Anonymous >>69560502 # did you eat? >finish eating >want to make another >out of chicken I don't have anything but deli meat and bread, s--- sucks. 07/26/22 (Tue)23:22:29 No.69560493 I'm hungry now from reading this, I can't eat for 30 more minutes. D: >>69561396 # : Anonymous 07/26/22 (Tue)23:23:43 No.69560502 Anonymous make a bread sandwich 07/27/22 (Wed)00:48:13 No.69561318 07/27/22(Wed)00:48:36 No.69561327 07/27/22(Wed)00:55:01 No.69561396 image.jpg 1.33 MB JPG >>69561327 # holy f--- ur a genius

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Anon hates Pitbulls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/22(Wed)21:03:41 No.69576070 >minding my own business walking my dog >some old lady turns the corner with a little girl that is walking a pitbull >become afraid and nervous and cross the street to avoid them >pass by them and their pitbull BREAKS FREE from the girls hands, runs over, and suddenly latches onto my dog >is shaking my little dog back and forth like a chew toy >scream and beat on the beat with full strength, kick it and pry my dog from it's maw >the old lady and kid rush over and get the dog >scream at her why was she letting a little kid walk that f------ thing >the lady gets mad at me and yells at me to blow it out my ass >take my dog to emergency vet and pay surgery to save him >he survives and I file police report while he's in urgent care >giant investigation, go around to neighbors and canvass neighborhood and find where the pithag owner lives >send her small claims demand letter for the vet bills >she cries poor and tries to say her dog has cancer (LOL) >tell her tough s--- >she pays my dog's bills in full That is why I hate pitbulls. >>69576244 # >>69580524 #

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Greentext Stories - anon reads the harry potter books | /r/Greentext

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No.132072243 rereading the Harry Potter books made me realize Harry was pretty dumb tbf >there is a troll on the loose in the castle and Anonymous 07/28/22(Thu)09:54:18 Hermione is in the bathroom? better go there instead of telling McGonagall or Dumbledore or any teacher or prefect >takes part in the triwizard tournament because muh goblet's magical license agreement or some s--- despite him not putting his name in it so he could've said "nah Im not doing this s---. you wanna force me? will that goblet magically make my head explode if I dont participate?" >misses pajeeta p---- because he has a crush on a girl he talked to twice last year and because Ron is a jealous sperg >doesnt ask out the cute autistic outcast girl despite being an outcast in most of his life while growing up with the Dursleys, probably could've gotten along best with Luna out of all (2) of his girlfriends >dates his best friend's sister which is a major NO because if they break up with heat it endangers his friendship with Ron >does all the s--- in sixth year Dumbledore asks and never tells him "listen here old man, what's the actual deal?" >Slughorn is the only person who knows how many horcruxes Voldemort made - doesnt suggest Dumbledore they should put veritaserum in Slughorn's ginger ale and ask him what's the secret number is >grew up among muggles but never suggests they should take out Voldemort with a Dragunov sniper rifle

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