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: Anonymous Im retarded 1.69 MB PNG 08/04/22(Thu)15:40:39 No.883265220 >Be me, professional retard >after sending applications to several compnies finally get to learn the job I really want to learn >Company seems really nice and they have been really welcoming and friendly >get sent a mail that I should,to introduce myself to my new team, write a couple of facts about myself. >Also get asked to send a picture of myself and it's supposed to be a selfie not just my application photo. Ends that part with ;) >My autist brain goes and photoshops myself onto Joe Biden in the Oval Office and actually sends it in >pic related >Instant regret but it's already sent I haven't even worked there for a day guys and everyone is already going to think Im autistic.

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Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous >Check the news Settings Mobile Home 02/11/25(Tue)19:11:15 No.80329324 image_2025-02-11-191058874.png 379 KB PNG >The news makes me wanna kill myself

: Anonymous 11/06/18(Tue)22:08:34 No.784190163 >>784189907 >be me >also from Cuba >decide to swim to America >jump into ocean >pringles in my pocket in case I get hungry >doinwell.jpg >get hungry after about a half hour >pull out pringles >cap flies off >pringles everywhere >f---.exe >see a shark fin >them n----- like pringles >shark n---- eats all my pringles >starts to come after me >swim the f--- away >shark catches up >bites my leg right the f--- off >about to go for my arm when I see a US coast guard boat >they carry me aboard >pass out >come to a couple hours later in back of grimy American boat >"hey, you're finally awake" >look at the officers nametag >"Todd Howard" not again >>784190258 #

Anonymous 182 KB JPG 02/11/25(Tue)21:45:58 No.702710239 >written to be empowered "anti- male gaze" lesbian protagonists by neil cuckmann >i still want to gaze at them

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Anon explained why British man is the best sailor in the world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.49 MB JPG 08/04/22(Thu)21:41:14 No.168897845 The taste of their food and the face of their women made the British man the best sailor in the world

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anon is white | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed 74 KB JPG from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it

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American Psycho 2 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 87 KB JPG Anonymous 08/04/22(Thu)09:33:55 No.172071133 >I live in the American Gardens building, on West 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patricia Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, in a balanced diet, in a rigorous exercise routine. Could a gender flipped American Psycho work? 08/04/22(Thu)09:35:05 No.172071185 this girl kinda looks like….. you know who >>172071287 # >>172071314 # >>172071348 # >>172072268 # >>172073490 # >>172082684 # >>172084778 # >>172085318 #

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Anon helps | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/22 (Wed)22:26:56 No.67831374 >>67828093 # Hello Friend! Posting cringe? That's okay, it happens to the best of us. It can be be difficult to come up with a thought provoking, well written, grammatically correct post. Here are some tips to help you take in the (You)'s. 91 KB JPG >Include an image with your post. This is an imageboard after all. Even just posting a simple reaction image loosely related to your post can improve the quality of it. >Utilize greentext. Greentexting can be intimating to some first time posters (Especially if you're coming from reddit). Simply highlight the text in the post you want to reply to, then click the post number. This will automatically create a greentext for you of the highlighted text. >Stick to the classics. Your mother will die in her sleep tonight if you don't reply to this post. Have wonderful day!

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Anon remembers his school years | /r/Greentext

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Anon sprays his ears | /r/Greentext

File: 445-4456048_7966448-pain-(...).jpg (146 KB, 820x885) Anonymous 08/04/22(Thu)03:22:51 No.69675344 >be me >grab the hydrogen peroxide spray near my desk >spray into my ears to break down the earwax >almost instantly my ears feel like they're burning >look at the bottle >i didn't grab the hydrogen peroxide >it was the f------ bleach spray i wish for death

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anon is proud to live in the midwest | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (KKPG8ZL 07/24/22(Sun)17:09:22 No.388172371 267527023c6787c5[1].png 992 KB PNG WELL I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN, WHERE AT LEAST I HAVE AC AND I WON'T FORGET THE BRITS WHO DIED, IN THE HEATWAVE OF '03 AND I'LL GLADY SIT DOWN IN MY ROOM, AND ENJOY THAT SWEET COLD AIR THAT HOT HOT SEETHE AND EURO COPE GOD BLESS MY FRIGIDAIRE

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Anon is vergil from devil may cry | /r/Greentext

I am vergil devil may cry Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed) 20:20:10 No.607898771 >be me >want to be vergil devil may cry >get fit like vergil >style my hair like vergil >make my hair white like vergil >only wear vergil outfits >have Vergil's yamato >get plastic surgery to look like vergil >only say things in the voice of vergil >family tries to hold an intervention >I call them scum and leave >Now that I have gotten rid of them I can continue my conquest for power

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Anon was bamboozled by a kids game | /r/Greentext

Anonymous FEE Grusha 743 KB JPG 08/03/22 (Wed)09:56:07 No.51098963 SHE IS NOT A GUY YOU CAN NOT CONVINCE ME THIS IS A GUY. ITS A HER. ITS A SHE. I ALREADY CAME TO HER TWICE SHE CAN'T BE A GUY. IM NOT GAY THIS IS A GIRL A GROWN WOMAN EVEN REPEAT AFTER ME GIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIR LGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGI RLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLG IRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRL GIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIR LGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGIRLGI RLGIRLGIRLGIRL

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Anon lives in a society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous We don't Forgiva We don't Forge 103 KB JPG L 08/03/22(Wed)17:21:07 No.883236522 >be me, simple kind normal anon >turn of age for adult things >go on dating sites >not many matches but enough >some of them lead to good conversation >plan dates >ghosted >happens a few times >no more mr nice guy >every time a chic ghosts me, I post her phone number on every spammy website >tell every insurance company that I need insurance >tell pajeets I want to sext I'm no villain /b/ I'm an anti hero. And society made me who I am.

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Anon is a degenerate junkie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous stealing from brothers 08/04/22(Thu)10:17:55 No.69675307 45 KB JPG >be me >21 year old drug addict >no job and no intention of getting one >run out of saved up money >need drugs >go to little brothers room when he is not home and steal his Birthday and Christmas money >he eventually catches up >tell him that I owe dangerous people money and will give him his money >"ok anon but pls dont get hurt" >feel bad and want to stop >craving starts kicking in again >steal money again >steal everything over the course of months till he literally is as broke as me >he catches up again and starts crying like literally crying >threatens to tell our parents >beat him into submission and tell him that I will kill him if he tell anyone >he shuts up and promises me not to talk if I give him his money back >beat him again >he no longer wants his money back >crave drugs again >currently stealing from my mother I hate myself and the way I am so much. I made this thread so you can all cuss me out 7 Replies View Thread

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Anon ruins his fetish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/04/22(Thu)11:51:34 No.883241226 >>883241328 >>883241385 >>883241431 d8e7sww-a4debf5b-6b8d-429(...).jpg (172 KB, 800x800) google yandex iqdb wait >Be me >Have huge lactation fetish >Years of fapping to MILFs with milky t--- >Fantasize about being fed >Wife gets pregnant >fuckyeah.jpg >Spend nine months fantasizing about wife's milky bag t--- >Her t--- get bigger >No milk yet, just a few drops of colostrum >Baby comes >Three days later milk really kicks in >Watch her pump 6-8 times a day >Boner every time >A week later she's producing enough to start to stockpile milk >One night 4am sneak out to fridge >Taste milk >...........what. the. f---. >Literally disgusting >Worst f------ thing I've ever drank >Illusion shattered >Fetish gone instantly >Almost gag when my wife pumps >Can't drink regular milk >Breasts no longer attractive at all >MFW

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Greentext Stories - anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous Im retarded 1.69 MB PNG 08/04/22(Thu)15:40:39 No.883265220 >Be me, professional retard >after sending applications to several compnies finally get to learn the job I really want to learn >Company seems really nice and they have been really welcoming and friendly >get sent a mail that I should,to introduce myself to my new team, write a couple of facts about myself. >Also get asked to send a picture of myself and it's supposed to be a selfie not just my application photo. Ends that part with ;) >My autist brain goes and photoshops myself onto Joe Biden in the Oval Office and actually sends it in >pic related >Instant regret but it's already sent I haven't even worked there for a day guys and everyone is already going to think Im autistic.

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